Funeral attire- need help ASAP!

Moggins_2

To those asking about age his Aunty was only 57 and died very unexpectedly from a heart attack at work that triggered a brain bleed. She wasn't a snob in any way but liked to dress nicely to the extent that she wore two different dresses to our wedding day

LE3

I think you have done the right thing OP
Whilst some people don't see anything wrong in wearing Jeans to a funeral, others do - and "skinny jeans" can mean anything from almost sprayed on to actually look quite smart - without seeing a photo of you in them it's really hard to say if they would be smart enough for a funeral where people are a bit sniffy about appearances.

A black jumper should be absolutely fine

margaretclare

It's quite usual nowadays for people not to wear black to funerals. In fact, sometimes you see the request 'no black' or even 'wear bright colours' or the deceased's favourite colour. If there is a dress code you should have been told. Couldn't you ask MIL or a close relative what they're going to do/wear?

I myself don't own any black items at all, and I have a funeral to attend next week. I've asked the deceased's nephew if there is a dress code, but even if there is and it's black, the best I can do will be navy blue.

stir_crazy

I've not been to many funerals thankfully, but the few that I have been to, most people wore dark colours, although that includes dark green, brgundy and plum purple. I've seen people wearing black jeans to funerals and to be honest, if they are smart jeans and not faded then I don't see a problem. I wore a bright red coat to the last funeral I was at becuase my black one was covered in cat hair, and the ladies I sat with thought it was a lovely change and more in keeping with celebrating life.

margaretclare

stir_crazy wrote: »

I've not been to many funerals thankfully, but the few that I have been to, most people wore dark colours, although that includes dark green, brgundy and plum purple. I've seen people wearing black jeans to funerals and to be honest, if they are smart jeans and not faded then I don't see a problem. I wore a bright red coat to the last funeral I was at becuase my black one was covered in cat hair, and the ladies I sat with thought it was a lovely change and more in keeping with celebrating life.

Yes, many funerals nowadays are about 'celebrating the life of the deceased person', hence the dress code may be his/her favourite colour.

I object strongly to John Pierpoint's remarks above. He refers to WW1, but this was a hundred years ago! There will be few, if any, who were alive then. I was born in the mid-1930s and I strongly object to being called 'sclerotic'. Some may be like that, but I personally don't know any such.

When my daughter died almost 12 years ago I asked people to wear 'autumn colours' for her. My granddaughter turned up in - black trousers!

Wear whatever you're comfortable with. It's you they want to see, not what you're wearing.

Moggins_2

My mil doesn't have many details on the funeral as her sisters husband is organising it and she had grown apart from her sister over past couple of years due to a falling out so the whole situation is rather awkward. Anyway the black jumper was too big so I'm going to have to wear a grey and white striped shirt with grey cardigan, black trousers and black ballet pumps. Not worrying about it anymore its all I've got so it will have to do

Brighton_belle

Honestly moggins - black and grey/white will be absolutely fine I'm sure. They are tonal muted 'colours'.

Re the whole black thing - I may be able to cobble together a grey outfit at short notice these days, (I never wear black usually as it make me look ill and never have any use for black trousers) but last funeral I went to was in depth of winter and it was freezing, and the only winter coat I own is lime green, and I had to keep it on in the church. So all the 'respectful black/grey' was hidden anyway.
I can't believe people are expected to own a black coat they use once every x years just for such occasions.
(And of course, as has always been my experience, the family of the deceased were just so grateful to people being there.)

Respect for the deceased to me mean being at the funeral, being kind to those closest to the deceased and then remembering to ring/write/send flowers/do meals or whatever in the year afterwards.

luxor4t

I agree, your outfit sounds fine. Hope all goes well.

pollypenny

Any dark colours should be fine. I don't think people buy special outfits and hats, unless they want to show off.

I wouldn't wear jeans though. They'd be a scandal in Wales, anyway!

Torry_Quine

batchoy wrote: »

The days of wearing black at funerals seems for the most part to have very much gone. At my mother's funeral earlier this year very few wore completely black but they were dressed smartly - my daughter wore a white party dress that had a small amount of black trim, the ramblers that my mother walked with wore their walking clothes and the gardener from the gardens where my mother helped work clean versions of there garden cloths. Personally my view was that people are who they are and what they chose to wear was unimportant, it was more important that they had chosen to attend, pay their respects and share their memories, but the fact that that the different groups had chosen to wear what was in effect their uniform actually highlight the many different facets to my mother's interests.

Not in my experience. Anyone wearing anything but dark colours would stand out at any funeral I've been at. The exceptio being when the funeral notice specifically said otherwise.

margaretclare wrote: »

It's quite usual nowadays for people not to wear black to funerals. In fact, sometimes you see the request 'no black' or even 'wear bright colours' or the deceased's favourite colour. If there is a dress code you should have been told. Couldn't you ask MIL or a close relative what they're going to do/wear?

I myself don't own any black items at all, and I have a funeral to attend next week. I've asked the deceased's nephew if there is a dress code, but even if there is and it's black, the best I can do will be navy blue.

I would never think of asking it there's a dress code. The funeral notice will say and you would be asked if a special request.

Navy blue is fine.