Funeral attire- need help ASAP!

Wilma33

What shoes are you going to wear?

Bangton

I'd just go with the jeans and jumper if they are black. I know some may find it disrespectful but the way I see it you've turned up and that's what counts.

Imp

When trying to work out what my wife should wear, I start from what I will be wearing as a bloke. Is is much simpler to work out what a man would wear to a funeral - lounge suit and black tie. From this, we can work out that the appropriate attire for women is blouse and skirt with cardigan or a dress, in both cases the skirt at or below the knee. Tights and court shoes. Colours would be dark or black.

That said, it is a funeral. If the deceased was well liked in the community, people will be making an effort to attend even if they can't make the time to dress up. People will turn up in their work clothes, maybe straight from a building site or office. They might pop into the service on the way to pick their kids up from school, or on their way to the shops. There might be the local cohort of batty old ladies in their turquoise coats, and the publican might shut up shop and turn up with all his regulars. Basically, it doesn't matter what you turn up in.

Moggins_2

Just on way back from the shops. I ended up buying some basic black trousers which to be honest I really dislike wearing but they were cheap and I can stash them in the wardrobe for another time. With them I will wear either the black short sleeve jumper or a grey shirt/cardigan combo top. Black flat ballet pumps, my 17 month old is coming to the wake and I am not chasing after him in heels. Thank you all for your input. I still personally don't think it is disrespectful to wear jeans to a funeral but wouldn't want anyone there to think of me being so

Fluff15

BitterAndTwisted wrote: »

The OP needs help in finding something to wear, not help to defraud a retailer !!!!!!. Disgraceful. I'd rather wear rags than descend to that. Shame on you!



OP: got any chums who could lend you something appropriate? Any charity shops nearby?

Nicki wrote: »

I bought a dress this year and wore it for our wedding anniversary to a nice restaurant. After a couple of hours it started to stink of stale BO and a perfume that wasn't mine. Some filthy dishonest skank had done just what you suggested. Not sure why I or anyone else should pay full price to wear your unwashed secondhand clothes.

OP as others have said I wouldn't wear jeans. Something smarter even if not black or dark coloured would be better. Ideally something smarter than jeans which can be worn with the black jumper to save some pennies.

Sorry everybody, I didn't think my comment through. I remember seeing it on a tv show once (Ugly Betty I think), but as I posted that I didn't think of the implications of that. Having only been to a couple of funerals which were casual dress, I was taking a stab in the dark. I'm sorry for any offence I've caused and I should have thought before I posted, or not posted at all.

OP: I'm glad you found something.

paulineb_2

Moggins wrote: »

Just on way back from the shops. I ended up buying some basic black trousers which to be honest I really dislike wearing but they were cheap and I can stash them in the wardrobe for another time. With them I will wear either the black short sleeve jumper or a grey shirt/cardigan combo top. Black flat ballet pumps, my 17 month old is coming to the wake and I am not chasing after him in heels. Thank you all for your input. I still personally don't think it is disrespectful to wear jeans to a funeral but wouldn't want anyone there to think of me being so

I dont think its disrespectful either, black jeans look smart in my view. I was going to say black leggings.

I wore a black asda dress to my grans funeral, it cost me 15 quid ten years or so ago, Ive also worn it to nights out, still do, its something I like wearing and its long and very plain

I dont even think my mum wore black top to toe to my grans funeral although she was in dark colours. Im sure my brother was dressed in a shirt and tie but he may have had dark jeans on, there were only the 3 of us there

My mum wouldnt have given a stuff if I had turned up in yellow with pink polka dots on, as long as I was there

Seriously, not everyone has the means to buy new stuff, not everyone has funeral clothes lying about, Ive only been to two funerals, my uncles and my grans because I have hardly any close family so I dont have clothes set aside as it were just incase someone dies

As long as you are there and show respect thats all that matters and if you had gone in jeans and anyone had asked you why you were wearing what you were wearing you could have made it very clear that you dont have a lot of black clothes

I couldnt tell anyone what half the people were wearing at my uncles funeral, I was so upset with grief it wouldnt have mattered, I certainly wouldnt have thought anyone disrespectful if they had turned up in a colour or jeans, Id just have been glad they were there.

paulineb_2

And some people might not have a spare £10 or even £5 to buy something new, Id always be aware of that.

Disrespectful is not showing your face, disrespectful isnt wearing black jeans, but thats just my view

batchoy

The days of wearing black at funerals seems for the most part to have very much gone. At my mother's funeral earlier this year very few wore completely black but they were dressed smartly - my daughter wore a white party dress that had a small amount of black trim, the ramblers that my mother walked with wore their walking clothes and the gardener from the gardens where my mother helped work clean versions of there garden cloths. Personally my view was that people are who they are and what they chose to wear was unimportant, it was more important that they had chosen to attend, pay their respects and share their memories, but the fact that that the different groups had chosen to wear what was in effect their uniform actually highlight the many different facets to my mother's interests.

nom_de_plume

Well, I think, if you look through this thread, there is no right or wrong answer.
My 2p. Turning up and paying your respects is what really matters.
You can buy yourself a fancy (read expensive) outfit. Will the deceased care or notice? Of course not.
No two funerals are the same. What's right for some would be totally wrong for others.
Behave as you would expect others to behave at your funeral and that is good enough IMO.

You say you are not close to the deceased. Maybe then you could look out for and support those that were close and are hurting on the day? Sometimes, on days like these, someone less emotionally involved can be a tower of strength!

John_Pierpoint

Only the OP you will know if this funeral is being organised by Hyacinth Bucket.

Somehow, I don't see the Hyacinths of this world as members of the MSE forum community.

Funerals (and weddings) often have an undercurrent of emotions, that could transform into an emotional outburst:
"Dressed like that we thought you had come to fix the drains........................."

We don't know the age of "aunty" but she and her contempories just might date back to the days when the sun never set on the British Empire, even though following WW1 the country was almost as bankrupt as it is now. It was the Jesuits who said "Give me a child to the age of seven..........." so those attitudes are embedded in their "sclerotic" minds along with other ideas, such as Chinese people have pigtails and all go to work on bicycles.

This is their show, and not an opportunity to try for three generations worth of re-education.

Fortunately, as a bloke, all I need is to wear a sombre suit and put on a black tie, to keep up appearances.
Even wearing trousers could be thought of as "out of order" by the generation now in their 80s.

Hyacinth: If there's one thing I can't stand, it's snobbery and one-upmanship. People who try to pretend they're superior. Makes it so much harder for those of us who really are.