WWYD- Go to work or not?

Spendless

Ok to answer some questions that have come up. Both parents can go and see child into hospital. Sorry I didn't make that clear. I am female, though many posters would know that as I've been on here a long time. I have no idea for how long op will be for. I think it's a possibilty we'd leave the hospital due to it only being 10-15 mins drive from home, and be asked to collect later, but I haven't had any details yet.

I asked because (from opening post)

Spendless wrote: »

What would you do? Forfeit the days wages or go in? Working a part day isn't an option due to the job role.

This was the dilemma, that faced me earlier. I've made my decision, but intrigued what others will answer.

I thought about it, chatted about it with DH and whitewing articulated my feelings the most (reply towards end of page 1)

whitewing wrote: »

but I'd want one of us to be able to drop everything for minor reasons rather than have to sit and weigh up whether to go in, leave early etc etc. Emergency decisions are fine, what I tend to find causes most stress as a working parent is when you feel that you ought to be somewhere but you have committed yourself to something else - it's the ability to change plans a number of times at the last minute that is valuable to me).

Spendless wrote: »

This is what made me make my decision earlier. I want the option of me being able to drop everything if need be and I can't guarantee that if I'm working and don't wish to spend my worktime wishing I was elsewhere. I might think the money would have been handy but I won't spend the day wishing I'd gone into work.


Having made the decision, I then queried with DD about who she would like with her when she came round from her op and she answered 'both of you'

I'd have left thread running because I was interested in what others would do, but I am at work all day today.

bagpussbear

It's not something I'd even have to think about, I'd be there for my child. If it means economising for the rest of the month because I've lost a day's pay, so be it.

mcja

Spendless, I am unsure if she has had an op before, but a parent stays with the child, takes them down to the theatre, stays with them while they go to sleep and you then have time. Personally, I could barely eat the times my son has had surgery but OH managed it!!
A parent then goes down to recovery and comes back onto the ward with the child.

As a mum, I can't imagine not being there BUT it is very much a decision for you and DD to make together. Its not the actual surgery that worries me its what happens if they are sick, react to something, are sore when they wake up and I wasn't there. I know we put ourselves on a bit of a pedestal as mums and assume our child's world can't turn if we don't get involved in some way but I think this is just one of those times they need mum.

Good luck with the op, and having read posts from you before I am sure whatever decision you make will be a considered one.

peachyprice

Spendless wrote: »

Yes they could. They could also work from home as the have more flexibility in their role.

I was going to say I wouldn't work, until I read this bit.

I would work and expect the more flexible working parent to, well, be flexible, and stay home that day.

I don't think for one minute that it has to be the mother who does the hospital run and stays home for the day, as long as there's one parent to be there.

Oh, and regardless of which parent did the run I wouldn't expect them drop the child at the hospital and come home again, I'd expect them stay there all day. Waking up after a GA can be traumatic, a parent needs to be around when they're bought back to the ward.

lika_86

I think this thread neatly demonstrates that the reason there are still massive discrepancies in terms of child care, housework etc between men and women who both work isn't because men won't step up but because women won't let go!

Ah the dream of equality and truly joint conjugal roles, ruined by those who would most benefit. Women really are feminism's worst enemy.

lostinrates

Spend less, i'm glad you are doing what suits you and your family.

lostinrates

Dumbe wrote: »

I find it interesting that posters have assumed the op is female.

My view is as long as their is a parent available (father or mother) then that's what matters.

In the situation described I would have gone to work (and given the gender bias that a lot seem to have i will add that I am female)

To me both parents are equal and the idea that one parent being more important is offensive or a greater care responsibility. Both parents created the child, both parents have equal responsibility, gender should not play a part.

Both parents should be judged to the same care standard at all times irrespective of gender.

As op says....some of us 'knew' she was female.

aliasojo

Personally I think I'd be with kid then moan like crazy about the loss of income and make sure she knew how much she 'owed' me. :rotfl:


Don't anyone bother picking me up on this comment btw, if you feel the need to do so, it's only cos your 'humour' antenna isn't working.


Hope it all goes ok Spendless. x

bluenoseam

aliasojo wrote: »

Personally I think I'd be with kid then moan like crazy about the loss of income and make sure she knew how much she 'owed' me. :rotfl:


Don't anyone bother picking me up on this comment btw, if you feel the need to do so, it's only cos your 'humour' antenna isn't working.


Hope it all goes ok Spendless. x

Too right, my kid sister still gets relentless slagging because she did Mum out of a tour round the Tunnocks factory - a valid reason to rip anyone to pieces!

olgadapolga

I'm with the beans on toast brigade, there's no way I'd go to work if my child was having an op under GA.