WWYD- Go to work or not?

Spendless

sassyblue wrote: »

I'd be with my child always.

With every GA there is a risk albeit small, l don't leave things like that to chance.

x

I think you need to read the whole of the sentence you quoted.

'The job is a busy one with not much time to dwell and there isn't too much that could go wrong that couldn't be rectifed'

This refers to my work, where there was not much to go wrong that couldn't be rectified. Several people had asked if I would be able to concentrate and I was explaining the job role.

Spendless

Yesterday I went to pick my Nan up to take her grocery shopping. After I got her into the car (no mean feat, as she has dementia and limited mobility) it wouldn't start. Earlier this week it had had a flat battery (one mobile mechanic bill later!) so I thought the battery was at the end of its life and would need replacing.

DD came out with a school residential trip. It's taking place in 4 weeks time and there's less than a month to pay the £135. Until yesterday though we knew a trip was possibly on the cards but no confirmation.

DS came home the day before yesterday wanting £8ish for the loan of some science books, something I knew nothing about till I got the letter.

And all this has come on top of a week, where I've finished off buyign school uniform, football boots, school jumpers (£15.50 each, available only through the school on training days).

The money I save in a separate account for all this sort of stuff, has been pretty much depleted during the 6 weeks hols, where I've paid out for childcare, entertainment, trips out etc.

So perhaps you can see the attraction of an extra days wages?

When I was offered it, I thought about it, before deciding against it. Then I thought it posed an interesting dilemma, because the extra money is not about the difference between being repossessed or not, or being cut off from electricity but nor is it about affording a shiny sports car or a suntan from St Tropez. It's also not about whether the child does or doesn't have a parent there at all, but about one working whilst the other does the caring role. So I decided to put it up for discussion.

sedment

Devils advocate, who does your child want with them??? Why not ask them?

Janepig

sedment wrote: »

Devils advocate, who does your child want with them??? Why not ask them?

You see, I wouldn't ask either of my children that. I would make the decision based on the fact, as I mentioned above, that myself and DH are equally capable of being there, and my children shouldn't need to "choose" a "favourite" parent to be there when they come round.

Jx

Spendless

sedment wrote: »

Devils advocate, who does your child want with them??? Why not ask them?

Spendless wrote: »

Having made the decision, I then queried with DD about who she would like with her when she came round from her op and she answered 'both of you'

I only asked after the decision had been made that either of us or both were able be there.

The reason I asked her, is she needed someone to go in with her for an x-ray prior to this op and there was only room for one parent (due to room size). She asked for her Dad, she felt her had a better understanding of the situation and her nervousness, because he had had an op a few years earlier.

jinty271

Absolutely no question - any procedure - even the most "simple" with a GA has an element of risk - we would both be with our child, and to hang with the ( beans on toast / needing to work double shifts after recovery to afford school trips / missing a bill if it came to it) consequences.

I am amazed that there is a shadow of doubt in any parent's mind.

sedment

Its difficult, but if your child is happy with who is going to be there, thats surely all that matters. If whoever is with your child can keep the other parent in the know as to what is happening, out of theatre and in recovery etc, nothing to stop other parent coming in at night and visiting then.

GwylimT

I would go to work, annual leave isn't part of my job and I'm sure my children would rather have a home, food and clothes, over the first few hours of recovery when they are no less than completely loopy, before they knock off again for hours.

Savvy_Sue

jinty271 wrote: »

Absolutely no question - any procedure - even the most "simple" with a GA has an element of risk - we would both be with our child,

so how do you manage if there's more than one child, or other responsibilities?

I described how DH came to hospital in his lunch hours to give me a break when DS1 was in. He also stayed overnight. Because I had another child to consider: DS2 was fine with a friend during the day, but it didn't seem fair on either my friend or DS2 to abandon him completely.

It's all very well saying 'no question', but often there IS a question.

gunsandbanjos

As long as one parent is there at both ends of the op why shouldn't the OP work? Unless her partner is a total buffoon incapable of giving cuddles to a sick child then I don't see the issue.

Many times I had to do the whole op day on my own as my husband was working and nobody batted an eyelid, guess we were just conforming to the gender stereotypes.