Do you mind if people call you babe?

hazyjo

I got called 'young lady' in the sarnie shop yesterday! At 43, I'm still smiling

(Do look much younger (so I've been told!) )

Jx

fashionlover10

I wouldn't say I was upset by being called babe, I just didn't like it. I think the biggest issue was the person who said it. Yes we're friends but I don't feel we're close enough for him to call me babe. It was weird and awkward and making me feel uncomfortable so surely I'm within my rights to ask him not to?

aliasojo

fashionlover10 wrote: »

I wouldn't say I was upset by being called babe, I just didn't like it. I think the biggest issue was the person who said it. Yes we're friends but I don't feel we're close enough for him to call me babe. It was weird and awkward and making me feel uncomfortable so surely I'm within my rights to ask him not to?

It's one of those personal 'what's most important to you' situations I think.

I also think you need to consider 'intent'.

My opinion is that there was no intent to cause you to feel uncomfortable, that came from your own psyche. In this situation I would have dealt with my feelings before causing embarrassment to someone else. It would have been more important for me not to embarrass.

(Unless of course the intent was to leer or be deliberately and creepily personal.......then I'd be fine about telling him to leave off.)

However, the important word is 'personal'. Clearly it was more important for you to make your feelings known. We're all different.

zaksmum

I_luv_cats wrote: »

Talkin of hun, gord that's annoying especially from the bingo websites I've tried, cos most of the hosts call everybody hun!

I know...hun always makes me think of Atilla...!:(

jellyhead

maintenanceman wrote: »

Pork chop ??? that is a bit random ...treacle
BTW what superficial world do you work in?

I don't know where it came from (a TV programme perhaps?) but we used to call each other pork chop in high school (late 80's) then we started using pineapple chunk or me old chip butty. We probably watched too much Eastenders.

As an adult I don't think I use those terms, but I noticed today that I tend to call children 'chicken' or 'pigeon'. I have no idea why - it's sort of a way to express affection for them, like smiling. Does that sound bonkers?

I remember when I started university in the midlands the other students found it hilarious when we got the bus driver from Stoke on Trent because he called everybody 'duck' But during a lecture a workman who was fixing the heating called my lecturer 'pet' and she went off into a rant about women not being 'pets' and being just as intelligent as men ... I think he was shortening 'petal' actually. We all thought she was over the top, and nobody agreed with her.

I don't actually like 'babe' ... it sounds really chavvy and thick, but perhaps people from other parts of the country feel the same about terms of endearment used in the Midlands, and think 'babe' is no different to 'duck'. I wouldn't care if somebody called me babe though, and wouldn't ask them not to.

As has been said it all depends on the tone. Some of those terms can be used in a condescending way to belittle people.

Tim Roth calls people 'love' in that american drama, I've forgotten what it's called. It's quite sexy when he says it though

Kynthia

fashionlover10 wrote: »

I wouldn't say I was upset by being called babe, I just didn't like it. I think the biggest issue was the person who said it. Yes we're friends but I don't feel we're close enough for him to call me babe. It was weird and awkward and making me feel uncomfortable so surely I'm within my rights to ask him not to?

Yes you were. I think only immature people would get upset or think it wrong of you to kindly ask not to be called something that made you uncomfortable. How can we evolve as people if we never take into consideration that what we say might not be appropriate or acceptable to everyone and in every situation?

aliasojo

Kynthia wrote: »

Yes you were. I think only immature people would get upset or think it wrong of you to kindly ask not to be called something that made you uncomfortable. How can we evolve as people if we never take into consideration that what we say might not be appropriate or acceptable to everyone and in every situation?

So you're advocating self interest is the most important aspect then? Tolerance of other people's ways or recognition of innocent intent is not even to be considered? 'Evolving as people' involves so much more than simply insisting someone doesn't upset you over something so trivial.

Imo.

*signed: an apparently immature aliasojo*

BugglyB

I was called 'love' in a meeting the other day by someone (a man) junior to me and that did raise my hackles. I could see a few raised eyebrows round the table.

The only circumstance where I mind being called 'babe' or 'love' is where the person wouldn't equally be calling a man 'mate'. It can be disrespectful.

Mojisola

BugglyB wrote: »

I was called 'love' in a meeting the other day by someone (a man) junior to me and that did raise my hackles. I could see a few raised eyebrows round the table.

In a professional setting, it shouldn't happen at all. Whether he was junior or senior to you or whether it was a man to a woman or the other way round, it's not acceptable.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

It's never bothered me in the slightest.

I've been called;

Love
My love
Petal (by a Geordie )
Lass (same Geordie)
Hun
Chick
Babe
Bird
Pickle
Trouble
Squirrel (Devon Boy )
Treacle
Honey
Sweetie
My Dear
Sweetheart
Darlin'
Dolly
Mate

and a whole lot more.


I'm from the wilds of Sarf London and it's pretty normal to hear such things daily. So much so, when there's some sort of emergency, it's reassuring to hear someone speaking to you in that way - I'm thinking of a paramedic who sat and held my hand whilst his colleague was getting the stretcher and things to immobilise my head and neck.

Oh, and My Dear was also the usual turn of phrase for proper Old School Hospital Consultants.


I do it myself. Usually in the context of seeing friends or helping somebody/giving first aid. I wouldn't use it in a business context, but then again, I also try to take the roughest edges off my accent as well in those places. Most people don't seem to jump on their high horse about my accent or turn of phrase when they've faceplanted into the tarmac or I'm holding their wrist up and applying compression to a nasty wound.

But the rest of the time, it seems to be pretty well received; I've never seen anybody take exception to it.


The ones I use myself would be;

Love/My Love
My Dear/Me Dears (normally for friends who don't often use such phrases themselves)
Sweetheart
Pickle
Sweetpea
Sweetie
Honey
Hun
Mate
Darlin'

Some of these would be for children.


The only ones that I can think of that don't sound as 'natural' to me are Baby Girl, Boy-boy and Man-man (somebody I knew called her children those names - although that could well be because she had so many). And Geezer/Squire/Guv/Boss sound more like somebody who has watched a few TV shows and thinks that's what they should be saying.


Mind you, I've also been called a few rude things in my time, largely by my Geordie mate when I've been winding him up - and that doesn't bother me either




Better than the term of endearment my Granddad used for my Mum. He'd call her Fannyann. And she HATED it until the day she never heard it again.