Living with a partner - how to decide what she should contribute financially?

witchy1066

Mojisola wrote: »

Not if you are partners. If the GF is a partner and pays "rent", she will have an interest in the property and could ask for her share if they break up.

this is total rubbish, my partner and I have been partners for 25 years and are in the process of buying a house , I wasn't going to go on the mortgage (age reasons) i would most certainly be contributing towards the household costs but have been advised by not only my broker but also my solicitor that I would have no claim on the property if anything was to happen to our relationship,

as someone else noted , there is nothing legal about a "common law wife"

we do not have children together , his next of kin which would be his father could also throw me out if my partner was to die,
if he hadn't made some kind of legal provisions for me to live in the house

this is fact, and needs to be addressed when couples move in to one or the others house, or buy in sole name only

sorry for bit of a rant :rotfl:

C_Mababejive

OP..As a general comment,what you are proposing is a future store of unhappiness.

The golden rule is..do not live anywhere unless you have a LEGAL right to do so.

That means you have a tenancy or you a registered proprietor on a land reg doc for a property.

This advice is really for your partner as it would appear that she will live with you and yet not be a fractional owner of the property. She should consider her future .

As to any potential future claim by her,i would advise googling TOLATA. Yet another minefield and a very expensive one for those who choose to cross it !

No..get it right from the outset.

pmlindyloo

Am I the only one who thinks this is such a sad post?

Everything said is based on the presumption that the OP and his partner (love the use of this word rather than girlfriend - what does it mean?) may split up. What a sad indictment of our times.

I notice the OP hasn't bought the house yet but speaks of marrying his partner when they can afford it.

Why then is he buying it in his name only when they intend to marry? And why is there this belief that he is the breadwinner (words fail me) and she is some 'body' that needs to contribute to his house.

Sigh!

(Sorry to speak about you OP, rather than to you, but my feelings apply do anyone who asks for advice about similar situations.)

This is all so one sided. What does your girlfriend think? (Sorry but you're not partners in the true sense of the word)

Talk to her (for goodness sake don't show her this thread - she is being treated like a complete non person) and find out how she sees your moving in together.

Now for a radical idea. Buy your house. Leave your girl friend in her own house and when you decide that you want to share your life together (for better or worse) then move in together.

I do not believe that you see her as your future wife - I suspect you are 'trying out life together' before you commit. If so fine, but don't pretend that you see your future together if you start off in this cold and calculating way.

Enough said!

witchy1066

pmlindyloo wrote: »

Am I the only one who thinks this is such a sad post?

Everything said is based on the presumption that the OP and his partner (love the use of this word rather than girlfriend - what does it mean?) may split up. What a sad indictment of our times.

I notice the OP hasn't bought the house yet but speaks of marrying his partner when they can afford it.

Why then is he buying it in his name only when they intend to marry? And why is there this belief that he is the breadwinner (words fail me) and she is some 'body' that needs to contribute to his house.

Sigh!

(Sorry to speak about you OP, rather than to you, but my feelings apply do anyone who asks for advice about similar situations.)

This is all so one sided. What does your girlfriend think? (Sorry but you're not partners in the true sense of the word)

Talk to her (for goodness sake don't show her this thread - she is being treated like a complete non person) and find out how she sees your moving in together.

Now for a radical idea. Buy your house. Leave your girl friend in her own house and when you decide that you want to share your life together (for better or worse) then move in together.

I do not believe that you see her as your future wife - I suspect you are 'trying out life together' before you commit. If so fine, but don't pretend that you see your future together if you start off in this cold and calculating way.

Enough said!

yeah totally agree, :T
I prefer "partner" at my age girlfriend sounds a bit gooey :rotfl:

I_have_spoken

It the partner cost effective? You can purchase an in-call offering 'naughty g/f' services for £150 as needed.

Goldiegirl

pmlindyloo wrote: »

Am I the only one who thinks this is such a sad post?

Everything said is based on the presumption that the OP and his partner (love the use of this word rather than girlfriend - what does it mean?) may split up. What a sad indictment of our times.

I notice the OP hasn't bought the house yet but speaks of marrying his partner when they can afford it.

Why then is he buying it in his name only when they intend to marry? And why is there this belief that he is the breadwinner (words fail me) and she is some 'body' that needs to contribute to his house.

Sigh!

(Sorry to speak about you OP, rather than to you, but my feelings apply do anyone who asks for advice about similar situations.)

This is all so one sided. What does your girlfriend think? (Sorry but you're not partners in the true sense of the word)

Talk to her (for goodness sake don't show her this thread - she is being treated like a complete non person) and find out how she sees your moving in together.

Now for a radical idea. Buy your house. Leave your girl friend in her own house and when you decide that you want to share your life together (for better or worse) then move in together.

I do not believe that you see her as your future wife - I suspect you are 'trying out life together' before you commit. If so fine, but don't pretend that you see your future together if you start off in this cold and calculating way.

Enough said!

Completely agree, the OP doesn't sound ready to be living with anybody on a partnership basis.

This is something they should be discussing together, and working out what suits them best.

They both should have an equal say in how this will work.

Just because he is buying the house and earning the most money, it doesn't follow that he calls all the shots in this arrangement.

It they can't sit down together and discuss this as equals, then I personally would question whether they are ready to live together yet.

AlexMac

" She is more a screamer than a squeeler lol ;-)"...
hope she doesn't have your log in or password....

And that she's realised that when the split happens, she'll be out on her ear with no more rights than the lodger she's described as above...

I speak from lucky experience; when the woman who is now my wife and I met- I was on my uppers financially... later there was a period when I earned much more... but now, mainly because we had a great balance of lucky risk (moi) and prudent planning (her), we've managed to trade way up the property ladder and are much more comfortably off than we deserve to be given our historic earnings... and we didn't marry til 15 years into our 30-year relationship, but were 50-50 from day 1... cos' we guessed it would last

So you gotta ask yesself punk... as Clint said,.. "do ya feel lucky"?

as someone said above- this isn't about spreadsheets, but emotion...

StuC75

yes pmlindyloo, its a sad scenario.. but one that is all too common.. Mortgages last 25 years.. lot longer than many relationships and marriages nowadays..

Divorces and joint mortgages provide a clear legal pathway for resolving matters when 'the worse case' happens.. In the case of common law / nothing binding then its a case of how much effort (and money) that someone may wish to take pursuing the legal options..

Mojisola

witchy1066 wrote: »

this is total rubbish, my partner and I have been partners for 25 years and are in the process of buying a house , I wasn't going to go on the mortgage (age reasons) i would most certainly be contributing towards the household costs but have been advised by not only my broker but also my solicitor that I would have no claim on the property if anything was to happen to our relationship,

as someone else noted , there is nothing legal about a "common law wife"

we do not have children together , his next of kin which would be his father could also throw me out if my partner was to die,
if he hadn't made some kind of legal provisions for me to live in the house

this is fact, and needs to be addressed when couples move in to one or the others house, or buy in sole name only

It's a situation that's a horrible mish-mash. If you live as a partner with someone but aren't married and don't jointly own the property, you can be asked to leave at any moment. Many people these days live together without realising how precarious their legal position is. https://www.advicenow.org.uk/living-together/ is well worth reading.

If you live with someone (as a partner, friend or relative) you have no immediate rights but if you have contributed to the mortgage or helped to pay for an extension or building work or major maintenance projects, you may have gained a beneficial interest in the property.

AlexLK

playaz wrote: »

We are not married, and the house will actually only be in my name (not a joint application)

My wife and I merged our finances when we moved in together, before we were married. If you believe she's a keeper, you'll treat her as one but perhaps your username says it all?