Boyfriend

mgdavid

skullncrossbones wrote: »

Sorry it's all a big confusing eh! My minds a big melting pot and probably not making sense. I am happy, very happy, I don't want to rush things. If anything I think I'm angry because he said he would move out, which he knows I'm desperate to do. Not specifically with him, just soon as possible as my mum and I will end up murdering one another. So the fact that he can afford to move out, yet I can't unless it's with someone, is almost like showing off, so perhaps I'm bitter and jealous. And no I'm not hoping he'll propose. We've been together a very short time, I'm not about to marry someone I've known that little amount of time.

perhaps the bit in bold is a problem - maybe he sees that you want to move in with him to escape your mother, not for the 'right' reason?

Person_one

Dunroamin wrote: »

Since when has moving in been permanent? Even marriage isn't permanent for many couples!

We could either of us be right but, unless she asks him to clarify, none of us will know.

Ok, don't know what to say to that.

I'm still pretty sure that 'come to stay' doesn't mean 'bring all your worldly goods, put your name on the utilities and don't go back to where you live now.'

Slinky

Is he Scottish? Where do you stay? can mean Where do you live?

Stay can have a different meaning.

FBaby

I don't want to have a serious talk with him cos I think that would scare him.

Then you are not one bit close to being ready to move in with him. You might want so you can be with him every day, you might want to because it would reassure you about his feelings for you, but if you are still at the stage of communicating because of scaring him, then your relationship just isn't strong enough to consider making such a move. You're going to have to beat the bullet and start acting like adults. When he gives you a hint and you are not sure how to take it, just ASK what he meant.

It sounds to me like you need to stop trying desperately to be the person you think he want you to be so he wants to commit to you and start just being you. If he doesn't to commit to YOU, then he isn't the right person for you anyway.

Prothet_of_Doom

I've got a record, in my collection, by the Smiths, on a 12 inch LP.

I can't remember the title, but the words go :


Girl afraid,
where do his intention lay,
or does he even have any

She says, "He never even looks at me,
I give him every opportunity"

....Lots of song

Boy Afraid,
Prundence Never pays and everything she wants cost money

But she doesn't even like me,
I know because she said so,

In the room downstairs
they sat and stared.

etc etc


Basically, you just need to play "Tell the truth" games...

and stop cute cat footing around....

Dunroamin

Person_one wrote: »

Ok, don't know what to say to that.

I'm still pretty sure that 'come to stay' doesn't mean 'bring all your worldly goods, put your name on the utilities and don't go back to where you live now.'

The OP still lives at home so it might well mean "when I get a flat you could come and live there as well and we'll see how it goes".

I'm surprised that you seem to think that shacking up with someone is such a big deal rather than just a convenient, exploratory arrangement. It certainly shows that social and sexual mores don't always move in a straight line.

daisiegg

Do you say I love you to each other?

pops5588

Cor blimey, 7 months... I don't think OH and I had even had a disagreement at that point, I was still at the stage of trying to come across as chilled out and reasonable (obviously he now knows better)

OP if you aren't yet comfortable enough to approach these subjects with him it probably isn't the time for you guys to live together. Just my two-pennies worth

Mojisola

pops5588 wrote: »

Cor blimey, 7 months... I don't think OH and I had even had a disagreement at that point, I was still at the stage of trying to come across as chilled out and reasonable (obviously he now knows better)

OP if you aren't yet comfortable enough to approach these subjects with him it probably isn't the time for you guys to live together. Just my two-pennies worth

Whereas we were a few days away from getting married!

(And we still are, many years later.)

Spendless

skullncrossbones wrote: »

he leaves me rather confused at times. He talks about things in the future, but doesn't seem to want to act on them.

For example a friend of mine recently got engaged, but is going to wait a couple of years to get married. I said to my partner that that's ages away and he said "Yea you might be married by then!" Queue confused face, but I just laughed it off and changed the subject.

A few months later he says to me "you want to be engaged to me don't you." Again confused face and I laughed it off. Is this guy testing my reaction?

He's very open about kids and has said things about moving in together but there's never a serious convo. I know it's only been 7 months, but I'd love to live with him, we only see each other at weekends as we don't live close. Then at the weekend he said mentioned that now he has a better job he might move out and that I can come and stay with him.[/I] Gee thanks. I don't wanna go all crazy but I would like to know I'm not gonna be waiting for decades.

I'd have said he is testing your reaction yes. He tests the water. You look confused and change the subject then complain he doesn't act on anything. I wouldn't either and I'm female and better at reading signs than many males who are often a lot simpler souls.

I don't understand the bit I've underlined. He might be moving out- to where? From where? But you can come and stay? Didn't you ask where were you thinking of moving out to? Why does him moving out mean you can come and stay at his place. Don't you currently?