Boyfriend

skullncrossbones

So, my boyfriend and I have been together for only 7 months, all is going well and he makes me very happy. Though he leaves me rather confused at times. He talks about things in the future, but doesn't seem to want to act on them.

For example a friend of mine recently got engaged, but is going to wait a couple of years to get married. I said to my partner that that's ages away and he said "Yea you might be married by then!" Queue confused face, but I just laughed it off and changed the subject.

A few months later he says to me "you want to be engaged to me don't you." Again confused face and I laughed it off. Is this guy testing my reaction?

He's very open about kids and has said things about moving in together but there's never a serious convo. I know it's only been 7 months, but I'd love to live with him, we only see each other at weekends as we don't live close. Then at the weekend he said mentioned that now he has a better job he might move out and that I can come and stay with him. Gee thanks. I don't wanna go all crazy but I would like to know I'm not gonna be waiting for decades.

Sorry if this seems like a load of rubbish, hell I'm reading this thinking "You're thinking to much, just relax and enjoy life" but a girls got to think about her future too. Anyway thanks for letting me get this off my chest. If anything a weight has been lifted.

mgdavid

from male POV reckon he's feeling like the hunter has sprung the trap. Sorry to be direct but what sort of age are you both? (fully understand if you don't wish to say!)

skullncrossbones

Mid twenties. The hunter has sprung his trap?!

Dunroamin

skullncrossbones wrote: »

So, my boyfriend and I have been together for only 7 months, all is going well and he makes me very happy. Though he leaves me rather confused at times. He talks about things in the future, but doesn't seem to want to act on them.

For example a friend of mine recently got engaged, but is going to wait a couple of years to get married. I said to my partner that that's ages away and he said "Yea you might be married by then!" Queue confused face, but I just laughed it off and changed the subject.

A few months later he says to me "you want to be engaged to me don't you." Again confused face and I laughed it off. Is this guy testing my reaction?

He's very open about kids and has said things about moving in together but there's never a serious convo. I know it's only been 7 months, but I'd love to live with him, we only see each other at weekends as we don't live close. Then at the weekend he said mentioned that now he has a better job he might move out and that I can come and stay with him. Gee thanks. I don't wanna go all crazy but I would like to know I'm not gonna be waiting for decades.

Sorry if this seems like a load of rubbish, hell I'm reading this thinking "You're thinking to much, just relax and enjoy life" but a girls got to think about her future too. Anyway thanks for letting me get this off my chest. If anything a weight has been lifted.

You seem to have missed his suggestion that you move in with him as well as all his other comments about the future. Take off your confused face and start talking!

Person_one

Its an ego thing, he likes the idea that you're just dying for him to propose.

He may have bought into some ideas from popular culture that a woman's main goal in life is to bag a man, have a big wedding and make babies.

The best thing to do is to talk like equals about the future and what you both want.

skullncrossbones

Haha Dunroamin why would you say you can come stay with me not we could move in together? I'm not a mind reader, surely men need to be direct too?

Kynthia

I'm sorry but I'm not sure what it is you want. You've only been together a few months and he seems to be indicating that he sees this relationship as long term. So what is it you are happy or not happy about? Are you wanting to rush things and move into together now rather than come visit him and stay more often when he gets his own place? Are you hoping he's actually going to propose when you can count the days you've actually spent together? I'm a little confused.

skullncrossbones

Person_one wrote: »

Its an ego thing, he likes the idea that you're just dying for him to propose.

He may have bought into some ideas from popular culture that a woman's main goal in life is to bag a man, have a big wedding and make babies.

Hmmm maybe, I laughed and said "nah, I'm alright." so he didn't get an ego boost. I'm not saying I want to run off into the sunset with him and live happily ever after, just stop mentioning stuff if you don't plan on doing anything about it. And trust me I'm very independent which he knows, I wouldn't have a big wedding as I think they're a waste of money and I don't want kids for a years yet. Some women aren't after that dream

Person_one

skullncrossbones wrote: »

Hmmm maybe, I laughed and said "nah, I'm alright." so he didn't get an ego boost. I'm not saying I want to run off into the sunset with him and live happily ever after, just stop mentioning stuff if you don't plan on doing anything about it. And trust me I'm very independent which he knows, I wouldn't have a big wedding as I think they're a waste of money and I don't want kids for a years yet. Some women aren't after that dream

Trust me, I'm aware that we aren't all Bridget Jones clones!

Plenty of men haven't got the memo though, hence the 'set the trap' comment you got for your first reply.

skullncrossbones

Kynthia wrote: »

I'm sorry but I'm not sure what it is you want. You've only been together a few months and he seems to be indicating that he sees this relationship as long term. So what is it you are happy or not happy about? Are you wanting to rush things and move into together now rather than come visit him and stay more often when he gets his own place? Are you hoping he's actually going to propose when you can count the days you've actually spent together? I'm a little confused.

Sorry it's all a big confusing eh! My minds a big melting pot and probably not making sense. I am happy, very happy, I don't want to rush things. If anything I think I'm angry because he said he would move out, which he knows I'm desperate to do. Not specifically with him, just soon as possible as my mum and I will end up murdering one another. So the fact that he can afford to move out, yet I can't unless it's with someone, is almost like showing off, so perhaps I'm bitter and jealous. And no I'm not hoping he'll propose. We've been together a very short time, I'm not about to marry someone I've known that little amount of time.

skullncrossbones

Person_one wrote: »

Trust me, I'm aware that we aren't all Bridget Jones clones!

Plenty of men haven't got the memo though, hence the 'set the trap' comment you got for your first reply.

I guess not! Everyone's different and what works for one couple doesn't work for another huh. I know this post seems rather pointless and there's tonnes more important things in life to worry about, but for once I'm being selfish and thinking about me.