Mr and Mrs K's New Journey to a Debt Free Life.

Dansmam

Hey Alex. You have no debt. If you can pay for a holiday, you can all have a holiday. Mrs k would love that I'm guessing x

littlegreenparrot

[It's interesting that people on here do not think my parents opinions count even though they are the ones who've been through this before. They believe they should have a say because he's their grandchild.[/QUOTE]



That's true, but lets remember they didn't necessarily do it perfectly. Which is fine, because no-one does.
But it was a different time, they had different opinions, backgrounds, priorities. They can (and will I'm sure!) have an opinion, but a say in the decision is a different thing. The point is they made the decision they thought was best for them and you, and you should do the same for little k.
The biggest issue I still have with this is not whether or not they should be involved, that's up to you. But the implication that has been made before that their opinion carries more weight than that of Mrs K. If I were in her position I would be very unhappy about that, and justifiably so.

gallygirl

AlexLK wrote: »

As for knowing about the schools, I know which I think would be the best option for the next two years. However, I'm not sure it would be the best option for a longer term.

Knowing what would be best for him for two years is about as good as it gets Alex I'm afraid!

AlexLK wrote: »

It's interesting that people on here do not think my parents opinions count even though they are the ones who've been through this before. They believe they should have a say because he's their grandchild.

Fine, let the grandparents decide. So what do the grandparents think - the other set. Are you prepared to let them have an equal say? If not, why not? He's their grandchild as well (hint: before you answer that on here think VERY carefully about what you say :cool:)

AlexLK

Dansmam wrote: »

Hey Alex. You have no debt. If you can pay for a holiday, you can all have a holiday. Mrs k would love that I'm guessing x

I should clarify, yesterday I wanted an extra week or so away from reality, we're already planning to go away as a family over the summer sometime. Next month we're also having some time away, I've got the trip to Spain with my son and parents, can't say I'm particularly looking forward to that after this week though.

littlegreenparrot wrote: »

[It's interesting that people on here do not think my parents opinions count even though they are the ones who've been through this before. They believe they should have a say because he's their grandchild.

That's true, but lets remember they didn't necessarily do it perfectly. Which is fine, because no-one does.
But it was a different time, they had different opinions, backgrounds, priorities. They can (and will I'm sure!) have an opinion, but a say in the decision is a different thing. The point is they made the decision they thought was best for them and you, and you should do the same for little k.

The biggest issue I still have with this is not whether or not they should be involved, that's up to you. But the implication that has been made before that their opinion carries more weight than that of Mrs K. If I were in her position I would be very unhappy about that, and justifiably so.

If I did not consider opinions other than those of my parents, this would all be sorted by now.

gallygirl wrote: »

Knowing what would be best for him for two years is about as good as it gets Alex I'm afraid!

Fine, let the grandparents decide. So what do the grandparents think - the other set. Are you prepared to let them have an equal say? If not, why not? He's their grandchild as well (hint: before you answer that on here think VERY carefully about what you say)

No, don't say that, please. :rotfl:


As for my wife's parents, they have six grandchildren including my son. For various reasons my son only sees my in-laws about 4-5 times per year whereas he sees my parents practically everyday. Furthermore, I do not get on with my in-laws and have no real need to listen to their opinions regarding something they know very little, if anything, about.

stepuptothepl8

Dear Alex

You don't know me, but I've been lurking for a while, so I hope you don't mind me sticking my nose in. You say that you know what you think is best for the next 2 years for little LK? That's good. What does Mrs LK think? Once you know that, you can make a decision as a united team. Once the decision is made, tell both sets of grandparents. It's a decision that only needs to concern the two of you (you and Mrs LK). Making the best decision for your child is a job for parents. The grandparents may have an opinion, but they must respect the decisions you and Mrs LK make. And you should have the courage of your convictions to make your own decisions based on what you want for your child.

I do hope you take this in the spirit with which it was intended.. i.e. kindly meant, and with love. You sound like someone who loves your child very much and that is a brilliant thing

AlexLK

Hi stepuptothepl8,

I have no problem with anyone contributing.

I know exactly what my wife wishes to do and it is in line with what I think would be the right thing to do for the next two years. However, I don't want the next two years affecting his schooling for the years to come, whereas she has not really considered this as she is happy for him to attend the localish school which is good at music and has a rich history but is not an independent school (regulars will likely know I've mentioned this before) for the senior years.

maddiemay

Alex, not commented for a while. I have just caught up on several pages and it is great to see you doing so well on many fronts.

Regarding the schooling topic, as others have said, no need to look further than the next two years at this stage, it is too soon to know how little K will develop and what his needs will be at the end of that time.

As a grandparent I am firmly of the opinion that we do not have a say in this or many other areas, the children and parents have to make those decisions we are too far removed in both age and outlook. An opinion, yes, but OH and I mostly keep those to ourselves, unless specifically asked. We are there to support, but not interfere, we do not have that right. We have helped the two of university age financially and given the parents of the younger ones equivalent funds for them to manage until it is the turn of their two, but that does not give us any say in where they go or what courses they take.

I wish you luck and oodles of diplomacy:)

stepuptothepl8

Thank you Alex. It's great that you and your wife are of a similar opinion for the next couple of years. Quite a few people at my daughter's school (a regular village school) send their children their for reception and year one, and then transfer to one of several independent schools for year two onwards. I think that makes for a really good start in life the best of both worlds.

theoretica

AlexLK wrote: »

It's interesting that people on here do not think my parents opinions count even though they are the ones who've been through this before.

Ooh, are you going to let everyone who has raised a child have an opinion that counts as they have been through it before?

If it helps, my schooling was a tiny village school until I was 8 and then I joined a highly academic private school with no problems.

AlexLK

maddiemay wrote: »

Alex, not commented for a while. I have just caught up on several pages and it is great to see you doing so well on many fronts.

Regarding the schooling topic, as others have said, no need to look further than the next two years at this stage, it is too soon to know how little K will develop and what his needs will be at the end of that time.

As a grandparent I am firmly of the opinion that we do not have a say in this or many other areas, the children and parents have to make those decisions we are too far removed in both age and outlook. An opinion, yes, but OH and I mostly keep those to ourselves, unless specifically asked. We are there to support, but not interfere, we do not have that right. We have helped the two of university age financially and given the parents of the younger ones equivalent funds for them to manage until it is the turn of their two, but that does not give us any say in where they go or what courses they take.

I wish you luck and oodles of diplomacy:)

Thank you, maddiemay.

At this moment in time I do think the village school would be the right choice for my son as it's much less of a step up for him. He's very reluctant about wanting to go to school which I think is because he's struggled at nursery somewhat since September, not with the curriculum but with making friends. Unfortunately, practically all his nursery friends went to school last September and he's found making new friends quite difficult. At the local school, he can come home for lunch and the school itself is only 5 minutes away.

You sound like a wonderful grandmother and in an ideal world it would be great to receive an opinion from my parents without the expectation I will follow whatever they tell me but it's just not like that.

stepuptothepl8 wrote: »

Thank you Alex. It's great that you and your wife are of a similar opinion for the next couple of years. Quite a few people at my daughter's school (a regular village school) send their children their for reception and year one, and then transfer to one of several independent schools for year two onwards. I think that makes for a really good start in life the best of both worlds.

I suppose I'm concerned that because we may reject the pre-prep place, they will decline his application for prep.

theoretica wrote: »

Ooh, are you going to let everyone who has raised a child have an opinion that counts as they have been through it before?

If it helps, my schooling was a tiny village school until I was 8 and then I joined a highly academic private school with no problems.

It seems that way at the moment. I also don't have many more chances to show I am worthy enough to take on their business interests; should I go against them and regret doing so I cannot imagine they'll be pleased.

I hope my son will have a similar experience to you.