Mr and Mrs K's New Journey to a Debt Free Life.

AlexLK

debtfreewannabe321 wrote: »

Hi Alex, long time no "see" my laptop has been broken and fixed a dozen times since last September so whilst it's working I thought I would drop by and see how everyone is doing! I see a huge (and very late) congratulations is due to you! Well done on getting DF and good luck with the savings goal! TTFN x

It has indeed been a while. Thank you very much though and I hope all is well with you despite the laptop problems.

tootallulah wrote: »

Hi Alex, I am VERY pleased that you are going to try and sort out how you are feeling "for yourself". Far from being selfish this will be a huge benefit to you and your family. I look forward to the next part of your journey, many congratulations on the savings.

Thank you.

The first few days haven't been so bad, there's been a few low points but I'm trying to focus on at least doing one thing that is productive per day as well as updating any records that need to be updated. I'm discovering it's nice to know exactly where you stand financially. I have also made an appointment to try CBT.

sugarpuss27

Hi Alex, I'm a long time lurker and little often poster. I hope you don't mind me sticking my oar in so to speak! Please don't think of yourself as a loser or a failure. We make decisions at any given time based on the knowledge we have and the experience we have learned. As we learn and grow so does our judgement. Be kind to yourself, no experience is wasted we just get better at dealing with them:)
Have a great day. SP

Waves_and_Smiles

Alex! Well done for the CBT appointment, that's fantastic! It will be a lot better than you think, it won't make you complacent or accepting of your lot or bring up painful memories, quite the opposite. It will give the tools to work through your anxieties and intrusive thoughts and defeat them logically, it doesn't dwell on your past but what you can do to feel better about everything in the present. If I may say so I am proud of you, I know how hard it was for you to make that appointment.

AlexLK

sugarpuss27 wrote: »

Hi Alex, I'm a long time lurker and little often poster. I hope you don't mind me sticking my oar in so to speak! Please don't think of yourself as a loser or a failure. We make decisions at any given time based on the knowledge we have and the experience we have learned. As we learn and grow so does our judgement. Be kind to yourself, no experience is wasted we just get better at dealing with them:)
Have a great day. SP

Hi, I don't have an objection to you or anybody else for that matter "sticking your oar in".

Thank you for the kind words. I understand that judgement grows with time and from past mistakes but cannot help wondering why I've done some of the (very) stupid things that I've done which have made life more difficult.

Waves_and_Smiles wrote: »

Alex! Well done for the CBT appointment, that's fantastic! It will be a lot better than you think, it won't make you complacent or accepting of your lot or bring up painful memories, quite the opposite. It will give the tools to work through your anxieties and intrusive thoughts and defeat them logically, it doesn't dwell on your past but what you can do to feel better about everything in the present. If I may say so I am proud of you, I know how hard it was for you to make that appointment.

Thank you. I do hope the CBT will help me to move on. Unfortunately this evening has been particularly difficult and I'm winding myself up over the house situation.

AlexLK

Thursday 19th February, 2015.

Dear Diary,

At the moment I'm contemplating the work that needs to be done to my house. There's the things I can do which are time consuming but not worrying and things that I cannot do and we've been putting off from day 1. Clearly, this is going to cost a lot of money and was unfortunately something else I failed to have foreseen as I was convinced this house was going to purely be somewhere to live for a couple of years.

Life seems to be one step forwards and two back.

Yours Faithfully,
Alex.

maman

:T Just noticed the savings pot is doing brilliantly for 2015!!

gallygirl

AlexLK wrote: »

Life seems to be one step forwards and two back.

Why? Has the work that needs doing just suddenly appeared? No. The only difference is you're actively thinking about doing it, rather than your ostrich impression (which makes your bum look big :rotfl:). That is one step forward - not back :T.

Next time you have a negative thought like that think about how someone on here would put a positive spin on it - and try it yourself first .

AlexLK

maman wrote: »

:T Just noticed the savings pot is doing brilliantly for 2015!!

Thank you.

I'm trying to be diligent by putting any money I earn that is not related to the main business away as savings. I do not count the money from the business that I do not draw as a salary, that is directly reinvested meaning my business finances are a lot more healthy than my personal ones.

gallygirl wrote: »

Why? Has the work that needs doing just suddenly appeared? No. The only difference is you're actively thinking about doing it, rather than your ostrich impression (which makes your bum look big :rotfl:). That is one step forward - not back :T.

Next time you have a negative thought like that think about how someone on here would put a positive spin on it - and try it yourself first .

:rotfl: The work has always been there waiting to be done, we did what was absolutely needed to move in. I suppose I am very reluctant to spend money on the house even though it will, almost certainly, add value as I'm not convinced we'll stay here much longer. Mrs. K. seems to want to spend money on making our house a nice place to live and stay here for the foreseeable future for the moment. However, at the moment I doubt many people would want to live here as there are numerous issues, including redecorating every Spring.

maman

I'm assuming the house 'dilemma' is because you can see yourself moving in with your parents whereas MrsK wants to stay put. It's a bit of a corollary of the 'pay your own way' scenario with LittleK's schooling.


Most people would think that doing up your house would add value as well as the obvious making it more comfortable.


I can see that you'll have caring responsibilities for your parents at some point but you're not there yet and even if you did you don't have to physically live with them. As others have said your immediate family should be your first call. But I don't think you see it that way.


Just an opinion.:)

AlexLK

maman wrote: »

I'm assuming the house 'dilemma' is because you can see yourself moving in with your parents whereas MrsK wants to stay put. It's a bit of a corollary of the 'pay your own way' scenario with LittleK's schooling.

Most people would think that doing up your house would add value as well as the obvious making it more comfortable.

I can see that you'll have caring responsibilities for your parents at some point but you're not there yet and even if you did you don't have to physically live with them. As others have said your immediate family should be your first call. But I don't think you see it that way.

Just an opinion.:)

I do understand your (and others) points of view on here. However, my childhood home is a lovely house which I think was a wonderful place to grow up even though my parents were restoring it as I was growing up there. It would be a perfect house now to bring a child up in and hopefully he will one day look upon the place as fondly as I do. The house is big enough that we wouldn't need to constantly see my parents and personally, I think it's quite a shame that the house is not really being enjoyed to it's full potential.

On the other hand whilst the house we currently live in provides plenty of countryside for him to explore and we do have a very nice neighbour, it's not exactly a spacious family home. By my wife's standards it is, apparently it would be fine if I didn't fill it "full of junk" but personally I don't think it's really appropriate now our son is growing. It also needs a lot of work with some potential horrors to be discovered if it has deteriorated in the time we've been here. Not sure this would be the case as we have improved it somewhat over that time and focused on making it as dry as possible.

As you know I count my parents as my immediate family as I am sure they count me as theirs.