Mr and Mrs K's New Journey to a Debt Free Life.

patanne

ditto what Maman said

AlexLK

patanne wrote: »

When oh when will you concede that you are a nice person who was given way too much financial responsibility way too early and did what most young people would do & spend it all. It really is time you forgave yourself & stopped paying for your perceived mistakes.

Patanne: The hatred directed towards myself is not just to do with my past attitudes to money, I was a horrible person during my younger days. One could quite rightly say I deserve to be ashamed.

maman wrote: »

Well that's just where you're wrong Alex!! You've put in a massive effort as you've had to completely change your attitude to money (and to life in general). I know you still hanker after 'stuff' but you have a much more realistic attitude and you no longer look down your nose at people less fortunate than yourself. And you've done all this while being an excellent father to LittleK, keeping your business running and doing voluntary work and with almost no support from MrsK at all. I think that's a huge achievement.:T:T:T

Thanks, Maman.

I have tried to improve both my attitude to money and to others, even though it is still very difficult. Some have proved my views to be quite valid but not all. In fact, currently, my most promising violin student is from a very poor family that happen to value education. That was surprising in itself to me.

My son is going to be 4 very soon, can't quite see where this last year has gone; I swear it was only yesterday he was 2!

7roland8 wrote: »

This time last year I thought once the money problems had gone I'd be a lot better. Unfortunately, this is not the case, especially after a particularly difficult day. I suppose it's proof money is not the be all and end all.

Alex there will always be something to cast gloom over your life - if you let it. Once one problem is gone the mind fixates on the next thing - unless you deliberately switch your thoughts and decide to be happy - no matter what.

You seem very unimpressed by having cleared your debts - a great achievement and now you can concentrate on the future.

Roland: Your words are very true, there is a lot of negativity in my life. Unfortunately, I seem to fail to focus on what is positive.

I'm happy to be close to clearing my debts, won't say they're cleared until actually paid. However, I'm aware I still have a big mortgage on a house that really needs quite a lot of work doing and am concerned that my enthusiasm for living within my means will wane; my wife is still far from "on board". Once again I cannot sleep for wondering what the future holds.

chevalier

How about this. Once you are debt free, properly price up the work that is needed on the house. Ie get proper quotes off tradespeople. Then you will know how much YOU BOTH need to save to get the house up to spec. What you need to save you treat like a debt and 'pay off' into a separate account. When you have saved enough, you do the work.

Or you can sit down with your OH, and say that now you are debt free, you don't want to backslide, so want to work on overpaying the mortgage, and will she match you pound for pound in overpayments.

Either of these scenarios improve her living conditions as well as yours. I don't know whether she will be mature enough to meet you half way financially. But good luck anyway.
chev

patanne

I think that there are quite a lot of us out here who occasionally wake up sweating because we have remembered something we did or said when we were much younger. In my case an awful (near 50 years) lot younger, in my mid to late teens I was not nice and still struggle to see myself as being nice. But we have to forgive ourselves & hope that others forgive us for our thoughtlessness. Carrying too much of this into the future just poisons the future for ourselves and more importantly for those around us too. You may feel that you do not deserve miniK's love BUT HE deserves the right to be allowed to love YOU. Let him.

AlexLK

I meant to reply to this much earlier but not been in the right mindset to do so.

chevalier wrote: »

How about this. Once you are debt free, properly price up the work that is needed on the house. Ie get proper quotes off tradespeople. Then you will know how much YOU BOTH need to save to get the house up to spec. What you need to save you treat like a debt and 'pay off' into a separate account. When you have saved enough, you do the work.

Or you can sit down with your OH, and say that now you are debt free, you don't want to backslide, so want to work on overpaying the mortgage, and will she match you pound for pound in overpayments.

Either of these scenarios improve her living conditions as well as yours. I don't know whether she will be mature enough to meet you half way financially. But good luck anyway.
chev

Hi Chev,

Thank you for your suggestions regarding the house. Fortunately, between us Mrs. K. and I can do most jobs ourselves, so it's purely material costs we need to save.

patanne wrote: »

I think that there are quite a lot of us out here who occasionally wake up sweating because we have remembered something we did or said when we were much younger. In my case an awful (near 50 years) lot younger, in my mid to late teens I was not nice and still struggle to see myself as being nice. But we have to forgive ourselves & hope that others forgive us for our thoughtlessness. Carrying too much of this into the future just poisons the future for ourselves and more importantly for those around us too. You may feel that you do not deserve miniK's love BUT HE deserves the right to be allowed to love YOU. Let him.

Thank you for your kind words, patanne. My son does not know and I will endeavour to make sure he will not find out about my problems.

AlexLK

Thursday 21st October, 2014.

Dear Diary,

Though I do not post entries here regularly anymore, today I thought about spending a large amount of money on something I didn't really need for one of the cars. However, I decided against it and left the money where it belongs in my business.

Recently, I have been considering taking a greater salary each month for my work. This time last year had such an opportunity presented itself I would have taken it without any consideration, though now I have decided against it as I know I cannot be personally trusted with money and do not deserve the finer things in life. I am looking forward to finally paying the remaining money owed off.

The debt free life is, hopefully, here to stay.

Yours Faithfully,
Alex.

maman

AlexLK wrote: »

Thursday 21st October, 2014.

Dear Diary,

Though I do not post entries here regularly anymore, today I thought about spending a large amount of money on something I didn't really need for one of the cars. However, I decided against it and left the money where it belongs in my business.

Recently, I have been considering taking a greater salary each month for my work. This time last year had such an opportunity presented itself I would have taken it without any consideration, though now I have decided against it as I know I cannot be personally trusted with money and do not deserve the finer things in life. I am looking forward to finally paying the remaining money owed off.

The debt free life is, hopefully, here to stay.

Yours Faithfully,
Alex.

Oh no, not that again!!


You can have the finer things in life as soon as you've paid of your debts but you just have to limit them to what you can afford. That's what responsible, solvent people do and you're turning into one!!
P.S. Go ahead and award yourself a pay rise but make sure it's no higher than 1%.;)
P.P.S. We're all looking forward to you paying off the last of the money owed.:A

AlexLK

maman: It'll be the beginning of December when I'm officially free of debt as that is when I shall be taking the dividend. Somewhat guilty about taking the money from the business as I like to see the capital grow but realise it would be better to start afresh.

Personally I deserve nothing. Well, a good night's sleep would be nice. However, I hope to be able to treat Mrs. K. more in the future.

AlexLK

Tuesday 28th October, 2014.

Dear Diary,

Today I had a conversation about the use of cards, be that debit or credit, prompted by being asked to make an online payment whilst I was not home and the subsequent shock the other person received upon my response stating I do not carry cards anymore. Anyhow, one thing led to another and eventually I admitted that I now chose to lead a finance free life, a part of that being I pay for everything in cash. It was the first time I’d publically announced to anybody that I do not have any intention of using finance again to fund any future large purchases. Whilst this other person was somewhat cynical, I realised once I’ve paid the debt and I owe and the larger task that is ridding myself of mortgage debt, the only interest rate I will have anything to do with is that paid to me.

On another note, the level cultural ignorance displayed by certain individuals never fails to surprise me. Nor do the venomous claims of elitism they impress upon their children about “classical” music when they will happily spend upwards of £50 per ticket to see Lady Gaga or whichever “star” is flavour of that particular week. Clearly, it’s rather an expensive business to be a working class cultural heathen these days.

Yours Faithfully,
Alex.

heartbreak_star

Getting closer to the start of December Alex hope the duvet and pillows are ready for that good night's sleep.

HBS x