Mr and Mrs K's New Journey to a Debt Free Life.

AlexLK

Monday 31st March, 2014.

Dear Diary,

I am once again surprised it is the end of the month and that summer is only just around the corner. Sadly, the fact I will not be having a holiday this year has finally dawned, especially when Mrs. K. is going away twice. However, I shall not dwell on such things.

Apart from my two productive meetings, my day has been rather miserable leaving me wishing I didn't have be at home. Mind, that responsibility only seems to fall to me these days. Not sure how much longer I can let things carry on as they are for.

On the eBay front, two items have been listed and a few more have bids. Frankly, I enjoy tracking my items, remembering how much I paid for them in the first place and either celebrating my gains or commiserating my losses. Fortunately, there is more of the former as it appears I have a good eye for profit even when not looking for it.

Summary:
-£4.00 Cafe (Sorry gallygirl, on the plus side I will be having a picnic lunch with son before he goes to nursery tomorrow).
-£6.00 Mrs. K. Lunch.

Yours Faithfully,
Alex.

AlexLK

brizzledfw wrote: »

Its a fine present...and I am really pleased your son enjoys being outside in the garden..its a good sign imo

Hope dinner goes well. We are having mushroom ravioli (HM but not by me..it was free though ) and foraged salad..oh and finishing off the bottle of wine a neighbour gave us..bliss All part of my campaign to Reclaim Mondays :rotfl:

He's not been introduced to much in the way of modern entertainment, yet.

Your dinner sounds delicious. Mine was not so. However, there is always room for improvement tomorrow. Can't say I've ever had a bottle of wine given to me by a neighbour though. Mind, I'd be rather disconcerted should my neighbour give me a bottle of wine - he doesn't strike me as a man who buys quality wine.

Magsnoodle wrote: »

Hi Alex,

Hey on the plus side at least little K loves helping you with the outdoor chores. I love to get my daugther and now my husbands grand daughter involved in stuff. My DD bought me a bracelet with her own money and some cheese and biscuits as she knows how much I love that kind of thing but then worried it was a rubbish present. As I said it is the thought that counts.

Take care and keep going - your signature looks amazing - HUGE inroads.

Thank you.

If you saw "Little K's" idea of "helping", you'd likely not be quite so impressed: it usually involves him getting as dirty as is humanly possible, declaring he's finished and looking at me in such a smug manner anybody would imagine he is an authority on the matter.

pebbles88

AlexLK wrote: »

Thank you.

If you saw "Little K's" idea of "helping", you'd likely not be quite so impressed: it usually involves him getting as dirty as is humanly possible, declaring he's finished and looking at me in such a smug manner anybody would imagine he is an authority on the matter.

:A that sounds so lovely, & made me smile so much! lovely memories!

And just the way it should be. Just think, every time you look at the tree, remembering the lovely time you both had planting it.... Well, you planting.... Little adorable K 'supervising' ... Those are the wonderful memories & moments that can only ever come free. Cherish them.

heartbreak_star

Personally, I think Mrs K. is missing out - she doesn't really seem to mind that she misses moments of Little K's like this.

HBS x

Granariesgirl

Hi Alex,

I don't seem to be popping in to MSE as much as I should... avoiding things that should be sorted, methinks!
I KNOW I should be reading up on all these financial things & making sure our lives are financially optimised but it just makes me want to run & hide! ISAs, CCs, multiple accounts to manage money...EEK :eek::eek:

Sorry things aren't going well with Mrs K.:(

Thoughts on this situation:
Is her spending spree etc. a way of trying to make your marriage crack: that is she's hoping you ask for a divorce instead of her, thus making you the "bad" person & absolving her of any guilt?
OR
Is it her way of testing the strength of your resolve to really be debt free because you've given up so often before?
OR
Is it (as others have suggested) payback for the pain she suffered?
OR (way out there but possible)
Is it her way of making sure you can't afford to send Little K to a private prep school? If she is as radically AGAINST the idea as you are FOR it, this may be the case...
Look at it from her point of view: you should both live penny-pinching frugal lives so that he can go to an outrageously expensive school that will teach him to be a raging snob who will despise his maternal grandparents & with no guarantee that he won't possibly sponge off you guys for the rest of his life while despising you too?
- hmmmmm what's to like in that scenario?

I think you need to sit down with her & get it out in the open: are you a couple or 2 individuals with a child in common? :huh:

Oh, & though I do not agree with her attitude to holidays & selfish spending, I DO agree with Mrs K that private prep school is a total no-no given the financial situation. Would you buy fancy silver cutlery when you cannot afford meat? That is, in essence, what paying for private prep school when you can't live within your means boils down to! :shocked:

Look at it this way: if Little K goes to a good state primary, you'll have 7 years to find a mutually agreeable & financially viable solution for all those years of secondary school.

If you REALLY want him to go to public school when it will do him the most good, you'll have 7 years to get your act together: your debts cleared, your house renovated & your business successful enough to finance the first year's fees paid in advance*... howzat for motivation?!

You could do it: look at how far you have come in the past year! :cool: You may be more up for doing all that needs to be done solely in Little K's interest as you have such low self esteem that doing it for yourself doesn't seem to work... however if you are torpedoed constantly by your OH it will make things doubly difficult which is why I think you really need to sort things out with her first, however unpleasant it may be.



*oh yes - & convince her that it is a good idea - possibly the most difficult of all! :cool::rotfl:

heartbreak_star

Just what Granariesgirl said. Spot-on post IMO!

HBS x

AlexLK

pebbles88 wrote: »

:A that sounds so lovely, & made me smile so much! lovely memories!

And just the way it should be. Just think, every time you look at the tree, remembering the lovely time you both had planting it.... Well, you planting.... Little adorable K 'supervising' ... Those are the wonderful memories & moments that can only ever come free. Cherish them.

Thank you, I know I am very privileged to have him; he makes me smile everyday in some way or another.

heartbreak_star wrote: »

Personally, I think Mrs K. is missing out - she doesn't really seem to mind that she misses moments of Little K's like this.

HBS x

My wife spends as much time with him as she can.

Granariesgirl wrote: »

Hi Alex,

I don't seem to be popping in to MSE as much as I should... avoiding things that should be sorted, methinks!
I KNOW I should be reading up on all these financial things & making sure our lives are financially optimised but it just makes me want to run & hide! ISAs, CCs, multiple accounts to manage money...EEK :eek::eek:

Sorry things aren't going well with Mrs K.:(

Thoughts on this situation:
Is her spending spree etc. a way of trying to make your marriage crack: that is she's hoping you ask for a divorce instead of her, thus making you the "bad" person & absolving her of any guilt?
OR
Is it her way of testing the strength of your resolve to really be debt free because you've given up so often before?
OR
Is it (as others have suggested) payback for the pain she suffered?
OR (way out there but possible)
Is it her way of making sure you can't afford to send Little K to a private prep school? If she is as radically AGAINST the idea as you are FOR it, this may be the case...
Look at it from her point of view: you should both live penny-pinching frugal lives so that he can go to an outrageously expensive school that will teach him to be a raging snob who will despise his maternal grandparents & with no guarantee that he won't possibly sponge off you guys for the rest of his life while despising you too?
- hmmmmm what's to like in that scenario?

I think you need to sit down with her & get it out in the open: are you a couple or 2 individuals with a child in common? :huh:

Oh, & though I do not agree with her attitude to holidays & selfish spending, I DO agree with Mrs K that private prep school is a total no-no given the financial situation. Would you buy fancy silver cutlery when you cannot afford meat? That is, in essence, what paying for private prep school when you can't live within your means boils down to! :shocked:

Look at it this way: if Little K goes to a good state primary, you'll have 7 years to find a mutually agreeable & financially viable solution for all those years of secondary school.

If you REALLY want him to go to public school when it will do him the most good, you'll have 7 years to get your act together: your debts cleared, your house renovated & your business successful enough to finance the first year's fees paid in advance*... howzat for motivation?!

You could do it: look at how far you have come in the past year! :cool: You may be more up for doing all that needs to be done solely in Little K's interest as you have such low self esteem that doing it for yourself doesn't seem to work... however if you are torpedoed constantly by your OH it will make things doubly difficult which is why I think you really need to sort things out with her first, however unpleasant it may be.



*oh yes - & convince her that it is a good idea - possibly the most difficult of all! :cool::rotfl:

Hello Granaries,

Long time no see. I cannot say I'm particularly interested in ISAs, CCs (erm, never knew they financially "optimised" one's life) or multiple accounts. Once free of this debt, I plan to carry on living a cash only lifestyle.

With regards to my wife, if I had any idea what was going through her mind, things might be different. However, she has little desire to talk to me. She is very aware that no matter how she provoked me, I would not start divorce proceedings; my son means far too much to me, I couldn't face being alone and she still holds a very special place in my heart.

I do know she is opposed to our son being privately educated but there is no reason he would become a "raging snob who will despise his maternal grandparents" through attending prep school. He will likely go even if we really cannot afford it as if the worse happens, my parents will not see their only grandson attend a state school. Personally, I'd rather not need their assistance but on he other hand it would give me nine years to "get my act together".

mum2one

bess1234 wrote: »

A magnolia tree is perfect thoughtful meaningful present. Shame it's for someone who prefers expensive empty tat

That sounds like a most beatiful present, if something like that had been done for me I'd be over the moon.

DD - got me some posh toilettries, (Boots 75% sale - I pd), out of her pwn money she brought me a me to u set for the car - she left the price on!! only £1.99 but it could have been a million quid, still be as happy. xx

heartbreak_star

I think I often sound harsher than I mean to, Alex, and I'm about to do it again...

I know Mrs K. does spend time with your son, but swanning off on holiday twice without him doesn't paint a great picture really. Or is she taking him with her?

HBS x

*Robin*

AlexLK wrote: »

I do know she is opposed to our son being privately educated but there is no reason he would become a "raging snob who will despise his maternal grandparents" through attending prep school. He will likely go even if we really cannot afford it as if the worse happens, my parents will not see their only grandson attend a state school. Personally, I'd rather not need their assistance but on he other hand it would give me nine years to "get my act together".

Alex, look closely at your comment above.
I can see the end of your marriage looming through it, if you permit your parents to control Little K's future.