Mr and Mrs K's New Journey to a Debt Free Life.

AlexLK

Thursday 27th March, 2014.

Dear Diary,

Winter seems to have passed by in the blink of an eye and spring is upon us, ready to greet us when we move the clocks forwards - I have too many clocks to deal with.

Today I directed a concert at the school I volunteer at. For the most part it went well and the kids played well. However, I was unimpressed with the lack of interest from parents. Of the attending ones, it appeared few knew how to behave themselves at such an event and one I spoke to about her daughter's interest and ability in music disgusted me. Not interested in investing in the girl's future, she was both rude and assumptive about me before denying her daughter the opportunity to take her instrumental tuition any further. Must say I found this particularly difficult, especially as the girl was both an able and interested pupil who had asked me to speak to her mum. Then I had a kid who decided I was the person he would like to talk to about being bullied. Well, that was awkward and I've no idea why he chose to speak to me when he would be aware I am in no authority to do anything other than pass the information on.

On the money side things have been good, I've done one of the deals I was expecting to do and the signature needs to be updated for the first time in a while.

Summary:
+£60.00 Music Teaching.
-£5.50 Cafe.
-£6.00 Mrs. K. Lunch.
-£12.00 Groceries.

Yours Faithfully,
Alex.

theoretica

If you are invited out to eat at someone's house you eat what is there rather than wondering whether you would really prefer chicken to the lamb. Same thing at home if you have lamb in and it won't keep.

7roland8

Alex - despite it being a downer for that parent to be so dismissive of her daughter's interest - you can but try and do your best -some seeds fall on rocky ground and there's not much you can do about it - same goes for those who do not know how to behave.

However the one gleaming light in what you said was about that child choosing to confide in you - now isn't that the very best of recommendations of you as a person?
He must have seem something special in you that made him feel able to talk - so if I were you I would feel immensely proud - you have not been there long but have evidently earned their trust and loyalty. And it was your personal qualities he was feeling an affinity with - not what car you had or how many clocks and pens.
So tonight think on that and relive it over and over in your head so that its something you will never forget - so that when you have a worthless feeling remember that he saw something you often fail to see in yourself.

Had to smile about the clocks changing and you with too many!!

mum2one

It really good that the child wants the music lessons, look at it from the other side of the coin, - maybe she has asked mum, mum said no, money tight, then the girl drags you across to back up how good she is and mum feels set upon.

Then for the lad to come and say I've been bullied, that is an amazing achievement, he found something in you that he trusted, felt safe, and was able to confide in, I know all you could do is pass it on, but it speaks volumes for you, and if that was me I would be walking on cloud 9.

Hope your ok. x

AlexLK

Theoretica: Never thought of it in that way.

Roland / mum2one: It was a rather hard rejection to take as this girl had made a lot of progress and had been one of the best there in both ability and attitude. I have a different year group after Easter. Mum2one, the woman was very rude to me, making assumptions apparently based upon only appearances (most happened to be correct but still, none of her business) and then telling me that "my sort" should not be doing the music project in the first place. So far as money goes, I do not have much money but if my son showed an interest and aptitude in something I'd try my absolute best to make sure he could do whatever it was.

With regards to the boy, I hadn't really looked at it in that way and I suppose you're right. I did spend quite a while talking to him but I was somewhat guilty myself. I wasn't a very nice child sometimes (not one of the worse either, mind) to others, it's something I feel rather bad about now.

I'm OK just somewhat disappointed and a little disillusioned.

maman

mum2one wrote: »

It really good that the child wants the music lessons, look at it from the other side of the coin, - maybe she has asked mum, mum said no, money tight, then the girl drags you across to back up how good she is and mum feels set upon.

Then for the lad to come and say I've been bullied, that is an amazing achievement, he found something in you that he trusted, felt safe, and was able to confide in, I know all you could do is pass it on, but it speaks volumes for you, and if that was me I would be walking on cloud 9.

Completely agree, students will definitely seek out those they believe will listen to them. Maybe it's having your own child that's helped you display that empathy Alex, who knows? what matters is they chose you to speak up for them even if that means you had to pass it on to the person with responsibility.


On the matter of parents who aren't comfortable in situations like concerts. It's something that I've often experienced. What matters is that they came so it's a step in the right direction. The poor behaviour of parents is often a bluff as they feel inadequate and the apparent lack of interest can be a face saving cover as they maybe can't afford to take the music tuition further. We all make choices for spending. I don't agree with the priorities of many (including yours at times;)) but for others there just isn't enough money for anything much beyond housing, heating and food.


On the caf! situation, why exactly are you frequenting cafes? Is it a habit? Are you not organised enough to take a packed lunch? Killing time? All of these can be dealt with. By your own admission this week, you've made a family meal for the cost of a visit to a caf!. That has to be an incentive to stop or at least cut back.


Why not work on a meal plan tomorrow and get down to Aldi and buy a whole week's food? The plan doesn't need to be set in stone, you can move it around. What about making some simple things to freeze like Bolognese and chilli to have your own HM ready meals? What about some simple things like pasta with pesto and perhaps some antipasti for your Sunday supper?


Congratulations on getting motivated with your business deal and also on listing things on ebay. Maybe the weather's putting a spring in your step?:)

7roland8

AlexLK wrote: »

Theoretica: Never thought of it in that way.

Roland / mum2one: It was a rather hard rejection to take as this girl had made a lot of progress and had been one of the best there in both ability and attitude. I have a different year group after Easter. Mum2one, the woman was very rude to me, making assumptions apparently based upon only appearances (most happened to be correct but still, none of her business) and then telling me that "my sort" should not be doing the music project in the first place. So far as money goes, I do not have much money but if my son showed an interest and aptitude in something I'd try my absolute best to make sure he could do whatever it was.

You cannot always change other people Alex - and some will just be ignorant like that and not try and do what we think is the best for their children - its hard on the child but nothing you can do - and don't take it as a personal rejection - as its not - she just sounds like an ignorant and rude person.

With regards to the boy, I hadn't really looked at it in that way and I suppose you're right. I did spend quite a while talking to him but I was somewhat guilty myself. I wasn't a very nice child sometimes (not one of the worse either, mind) to others, it's something I feel rather bad about now.
No suppose about it!! And use positive things like that to invest good memories of yourself and think of things in a positive way. Don't go looking back to your own behaviour - this is NOW.

I'm OK just somewhat disappointed and a little disillusioned.
Funny how a few of us would see this as a great positive day while you do not - we focus on the positive while you see the reverse.

The best thing to do Alex is maybe try not to think of the bad bits of the day but go over any good bits and try and remember those.

AlexLK

Getting ready to give up even before the day has really started today.

maman: Thank you.

With regard to the cafe visits, it's mainly when I'm out with work over lunch time. A combination of habit, killing time and being hungry.

Not sure I can cope with buying a whole weeks worth of food, I always forget something if I buy a couple of days worth.

Roland: Thank you.

Being negative about things is a problem, I would agree.

debtfreewannabe321

Perhaps the parent's of the gifted child couldn't afford lessons, I know from experience how expensive it is to try and fit in music lessons in an already tight budget. It is a shame but perhaps the child could still be encouraged to pick it up when she is older/things aren't so tight.

AlexLK

DFW321: I also suspect that to be the case. Unfortunately, there was no excuse for her attitude towards me.