Mr and Mrs K's New Journey to a Debt Free Life.

Granariesgirl

Hi Alex!
Chin up & just keep swimmin'!

I reckon your debtkilling slowdown is partly due to the time of year: I have found it really hard to be motivated to do ANYTHING this January, hope February is better but if it isn't at least it's a short month, & March is BOUND to be better!!

AlexLK

bess1234 wrote: »

It does strange things sometimes.

Setting yourself unrealistic challenges will just feed your negativity. Best avoided.

But if we said do your voluntary work 4(or3 half term?) times this month, that is a happy and achievable target that should not defeat you but make you recognise how well you are doing.

Thank you, I am aware some of my problems stem from constantly setting myself targets - often more than I'm capable of doing in one day / week / month / year.

Only three weeks at school this coming month.

bess1234 wrote: »

There is a one percent challenge somewhere, where you draw a grid of 100 squares to make it manageable. And as you pay off 1% which I think would be £35 , you colour it in, in flipping green fountain pen! So you just focus on one £35 at a time. But you will get to that last square eventually. Knowing you , I wouldn't be surprised if your miserly ebay total exceeded £35 and therefore matters. And yes business comes first.

Thank you, that is a good idea. Can't say I use my pens for colouring in, especially not with my "special" green ink. Yes, the total comes to a couple of hundred pounds.

bess1234 wrote: »

Thankyou to whoever suggested mind gym all those months ago. I live with someone with similar issues and when the doctor suggested mindgym whilst waiting for the counselling appt, I really pushed them to do it. Much as I love them, dragging their anxiety round with us every day made it a miserable life for me too. And I have seen a huge difference. And got the person I love back, with moments of misery rather than other way round. I think the best bit is they have stopped feeling helpless in the face of it. I think the counselling will go so much better now they are positive.

Take care. You have achieved loads. should have kept a list to remind yourself.

I have too used the mind gym but haven't got past the first stage, most of which confused me as to why it was relevant. However, now you've mentioned it I'm going to give it a go again.

Granariesgirl wrote: »

Hi Alex!
Chin up & just keep swimmin'!

I reckon your debtkilling slowdown is partly due to the time of year: I have found it really hard to be motivated to do ANYTHING this January, hope February is better but if it isn't at least it's a short month, & March is BOUND to be better!!

Hi, I'm not sure my slowdown is just to do with the time of year. Things have been extremely difficult and it seems I have spent every hour of the day from trying to stop myself getting consumed with despair. That does sound a bit melodramatic after writing it down but is unfortunately true.

maddiemay

Hi Alex
I have not posted for a while, (trying to do more and spend less time on MSE:(), but I have been dropping by and reading every few days, a few observations from me, all kindly meant and no criticism intended:)

You are doing much better than you think you are!

Rome wasn't built in a day, it would be wonderful to have a magic wand (echoes of Harry Potter) and have things come right financially, healthwise, family life, work, etc. etc. now, BUT life isn't like that and we need to be able to look back and see how far we have come.

From "here" your family seem to be very hard on you, and I think that both they and you have unrealistic expectations of you. You are working on your side, but, it is probably unrealistic to expect much change from them, old dogs can learn new tricks, however, they have to want to. Keep on doing your best, none of us can do better than that, and yes some days are carp, as are some weeks and months, but nothing is forever.

January really is a rubbish month for many many people. For myself, I am a glass half full person, I am not clinically depressed, I am not really "down", but I have the motivation of a gnat, all the mundane stuff is stacking up and it is so hard to get started on anything, but I know that this too will pass, I continue trying to eat well, get a little excercise and fresh air each day and do small acts of kindness for others, and I am sure it will improve (fingers crossed smiley please).

Sorry for the saga, just wanted to say keep plodding, you are doing great.

Auntie MM::D

ETA - I realise that this post is full of clich!s, but without writing an essay I am not articulate enough to express what I wanted to say without them.

heartbreak_star

Whew, had a bit of catching up to do there!

Alex, even taking the slip-ups here and there into account, you're doing WAY better than when you first started the diary

I am glad the school volunteering is going well, and take no notice of the argumentative staff member - if the kids don't know they're making a mistake, how do they correct it?

Volunteering is so rewarding though...cheer coaching drives me up the wall and is a constant stress, but seeing the squad hit a new stunt makes it worthwhile, and I still happy-cry when I see our competition videos

Chin up - it's Friday

HBS x

FlacosFloozie

Alex,

I don't know if you have come across the 'black dog' books. Mr F was recommended them and when I read the first one I suddenly got what depression was like before that I don't think I really understood.

The WHO have made a video of the book. Its less than 5 minutes long and is more than worth watching. You might also think about showing it to Mrs K.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XiCrniLQGYc

Keep going. You are learning to control the dog slowly and surely. We're all proud of how well you're doing xx

AlexLK

maddiemay wrote: »

Hi Alex
I have not posted for a while, (trying to do more and spend less time on MSE:(), but I have been dropping by and reading every few days, a few observations from me, all kindly meant and no criticism intended:)

You are doing much better than you think you are!

Rome wasn't built in a day, it would be wonderful to have a magic wand (echoes of Harry Potter) and have things come right financially, healthwise, family life, work, etc. etc. now, BUT life isn't like that and we need to be able to look back and see how far we have come.

From "here" your family seem to be very hard on you, and I think that both they and you have unrealistic expectations of you. You are working on your side, but, it is probably unrealistic to expect much change from them, old dogs can learn new tricks, however, they have to want to. Keep on doing your best, none of us can do better than that, and yes some days are carp, as are some weeks and months, but nothing is forever.

January really is a rubbish month for many many people. For myself, I am a glass half full person, I am not clinically depressed, I am not really "down", but I have the motivation of a gnat, all the mundane stuff is stacking up and it is so hard to get started on anything, but I know that this too will pass, I continue trying to eat well, get a little excercise and fresh air each day and do small acts of kindness for others, and I am sure it will improve (fingers crossed smiley please).

Sorry for the saga, just wanted to say keep plodding, you are doing great.

Auntie MM::D

ETA - I realise that this post is full of clich!s, but without writing an essay I am not articulate enough to express what I wanted to say without them.

MaddieMay: Thank you for your kind response.

Unfortunately, I have little else to say other than you have confirmed I need to take each day as I find it and try to do my best.

heartbreak_star wrote: »

Whew, had a bit of catching up to do there!

Alex, even taking the slip-ups here and there into account, you're doing WAY better than when you first started the diary

I am glad the school volunteering is going well, and take no notice of the argumentative staff member - if the kids don't know they're making a mistake, how do they correct it?

Volunteering is so rewarding though...cheer coaching drives me up the wall and is a constant stress, but seeing the squad hit a new stunt makes it worthwhile, and I still happy-cry when I see our competition videos

Chin up - it's Friday

HBS x

Hello there, long time no see! I hope you are well?

I have had a very difficult day today, well it all started the early hours of yesterday morning. Only just a little better now and have put a bit of work into some material for school.

Thank you for the support on the volunteering side, on the whole I am greatly enjoying it.

FlacosFloozie wrote: »

Alex,

I don't know if you have come across the 'black dog' books. Mr F was recommended them and when I read the first one I suddenly got what depression was like before that I don't think I really understood.

The WHO have made a video of the book. Its less than 5 minutes long and is more than worth watching. You might also think about showing it to Mrs K.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XiCrniLQGYc

Keep going. You are learning to control the dog slowly and surely. We're all proud of how well you're doing xx

I shall take a look, thank you.

I have to say I am looking forward to laying January to rest, especially after today!

heartbreak_star

I am better than I was last week - I had tonsillitis hence my quietness! Penicillin has sorted me out completely thogh, onwards and upwards.

Bet you get emotional when the kids start making achievements. Betcha

Sorry to hear you've had a difficult day though. They're pants, had a few myself recently. At least the only way is up when you're feeling rubbish.

Have a lovely weekend

HBS x

AlexLK

Friday 31st January, 2014.

Dear Diary,

First of all, I can only apologise for not being able to keep this diary updated as often as I would like to. Recently, my creativity has suffered somewhat and the mere thought of trying to write something entertaining about my day seems a step too far at the moment. Initially, my positivity was high, in my mind I thought I'd found a solution to not only my spending habits but the key to that elusive door labelled happiness. I thought I'd give up the unnecessary spending, live a quiet, simple life in the countryside with my wife (who of course would be 100% on board) and never have any worries again. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I was completely deluded.

Time passed and I began to realise that my condition was not going to be cured so easily. Spending more than one earns is a surprisingly difficult habit to break; I have relapsed time and time again, so many times in the last five or so months that once I contemplated with such weak will-power it was a damn good job my vice was not something life threatening. Anyhow, I realised something that living within my means is a piece of the puzzle not a ticket to instant happiness. It's something that will help me to move away from the self-loathing, pitiful and downright disparaging existence one has when suffering from such a condition as I. Conclusions which would not have been met if I had not chosen to step out of my previously very sheltered and somewhat privileged life.

You will all be pleased to know that is the end of my philosophising for the evening and where I move onto the "nitty gritty" of what I will be doing in February to at least pay back what I owe to my business. Rather unimaginatively it will yet again involve eBay and working through a long list of things I want to get rid of. Yes, you heard that right, things I WANT to get rid of, things that it is time I said goodbye to, if only to de-clutter my home. I confess one room has been completely tidied, the only things in there are things we want to own at this present moment and suddenly I'm not craving that bigger house anywhere near as much due to ours not feeling anywhere near so small.

Summary:
NSD: for what seems like the first time in ages.

Yours Faithfully,
Alex.

AlexLK

heartbreak_star wrote: »

I am better than I was last week - I had tonsillitis hence my quietness! Penicillin has sorted me out completely thogh, onwards and upwards.

Bet you get emotional when the kids start making achievements. Betcha

Sorry to hear you've had a difficult day though. They're pants, had a few myself recently. At least the only way is up when you're feeling rubbish.

Have a lovely weekend

HBS x

Not nice at all, tonsillitis. I remember being rather ill with it as a child.

:rotfl: Mrs. K. said something along the same lines.

Things were worse than I can remember in a very long time today, to the point that Mrs. K. had to stay off work but yes, the only way is up from here. I will not let my wife and son down by giving in.

Hope you have a great weekend too.

bess1234_2

You having a jane Austen moment? All good. You are a good man. Get used to it. If it gets too bad, change them tablets.