Mr and Mrs K's New Journey to a Debt Free Life.

AlexLK

Wednesday 27th November, 2013.
Day 88.

Dear Diary,

I apologise in advance for my writing not being up to it's usual standard.

Another slow day, though I do have another letter to write regarding renegotiating my other full and final offer, I hope to do this over the next couple of days.

The BBC News left me feeling very angry this evening, seeing how people in a less fortunate position than I are turning to "payday" "lenders" in an attempt to cover everyday bills. The sooner the government does something about these scoundrels the better in my opinion. I used to think at one point it was the borrowers own fault and they knew what they were getting into but now realise when people are in desperate situations they do not always act rationally.

Summary:
-£4.00 Groceries.

Yours Faithfully,
Alex.

cat1978

Keep going Alex, you're doing brilliant. I have done the counselling route and it is sooooo hard to start with. I used to come out in tears and a headache and be of no use for the rest of the day. Gradually it becomes easier, but you have to get to a point where you feel comfortable with your counsellor. You need to be able to confide in them like a very close friend. Let them see your inner most thoughts and secrets and only then can they fully start to help.


Cat

EchoDelta

cat1978 wrote: »

Keep going Alex, you're doing brilliant. I have done the counselling route and it is sooooo hard to start with. I used to come out in tears and a headache and be of no use for the rest of the day. Gradually it becomes easier, but you have to get to a point where you feel comfortable with your counsellor. You need to be able to confide in them like a very close friend. Let them see your inner most thoughts and secrets and only then can they fully start to help.

Definitely this - it's a slog at first. And also, although you probably want to not think about stuff hence the counselling I think you often have to think about it (but in a useful, processing kind of way) to move on and then really be able to not think about it. If you see what I mean...I can't make that sentence any better - sorry!!

And bear in mind that there are different sorts of therapies too. E.g. CBT and psychoanalysis. I was advised against CBT in my own personal circumstances and steered towards analysis. So if this doesn't work for you in the next few months there are other avenues to explore.

Please hang in there. The feeling when you are finally free of the past is amazing - light and free. I liken it to how you feel when you have spent the day in the fresh air (maybe a fresh wintery day in a sea breeze) - very, very alert and alive. It is SO worth striving for. I didn't truly realise how "heavy" the past was until I wasn't lugging it around with me all the time anymore.

I am wishing with all my might that you get there.

Oh, and I totally hear you re the PDL. They prey on the most vulnerable people.

7roland8

Yes everyone knows Pay Day Loans are a menace - but if you desperate often it is the only recourse.

Lots hope none of us get to that.

AlexLK

Thank you all. I'm feeling a little better but am very tired at the moment.

Cat and Echo: I am persevering with the counselling and thank you for letting me know there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

Roland: I do understand this. However, I still think there is a moral need to help those in the worse financial messes. Unfortunately I also recall from the news that a very low percentage of those in need where seeking help. I'd be interested to know why this was the case? In my situation I simply tried to "forget" about my mounting debt as I realised how much of it was interest rather than purchases, whilst forgetting about the problem made it worse, I was unable to face reality. My other reason was shame; I was extremely ashamed to find myself in that position.

AlexLK

Thursday 28th November, 2013.
Day 89.

Dear Diary,

I cannot believe this is almost my ninetieth day debt busting. In all honesty upon starting this diary I had not contemplated my journey this far into the future, I'm not even sure I though this would ever happen. Three months ago I was denying the existence of my debts, hiding them from my wife and hoping they would just go away. Today, I have paid something towards them and am on my way to financially recovering as well as sending a letter to renegotiate a further deal. Furthermore, I genuinely look forward to reaching my three hundredth and sixty-fifth day of money saving and beyond.

Perhaps, I am on my way to an altogether better financial future, away from frittering away thousands upon thousands of pounds per year. For the first time in my life I hope so. I hope I can become responsible for my finances, in the process helping to create a more secure future for my family and not become reliant on the good old "bank of mum and dad".

Unfortunately for you it looks as if I am here to stay!

Summary:
+£50.00 Music Teaching.
-£20.00 Petrol - Triumph.

Yours Faithfully,
Alex.

gallygirl

AlexLK wrote: »

[STRIKE]Un[/STRIKE]fortunately for you it looks as if I am here to stay!

Just corrected a spelling mistake .

Iwillsucceed_2

Hello Alex!
How are you? I am just going back home from a night out with friends! I had no alcoholic drinks over the past week so feeling great!!
I noticed you are going to counselling ! Good Alex! I can only think that people suggesting to explore in counselling your mother's emotional torments towards you is in a good faith. However, no one can set an agenda for you to explore in counselling particularly when you are in denial and do not feel ready.

Good with your debt busting progress ! I do have my very strong opinions about people in PDLoans.. In this country no one should go hungry really ...
Regards

AlexLK

gallygirl wrote: »

Just corrected a spelling mistake .

It appears I've got fwwwwwends. :j

Iwillsucceed wrote: »

Hello Alex!
How are you? I am just going back home from a night out with friends! I had no alcoholic drinks over the past week so feeling great!!
I noticed you are going to counselling ! Good Alex! I can only think that people suggesting to explore in counselling your mother's emotional torments towards you is in a good faith. However, no one can set an agenda for you to explore in counselling particularly when you are in denial and do not feel ready.

Good with your debt busting progress ! I do have my very strong opinions about people in PDLoans.. In this country no one should go hungry really ...
Regards

I've not been great these past few days but feel like I'm coming round a bit now.

Well done on the alcohol free days, I've not managed it this week but I've not been "drinking" either (just a nightcap before bedtime, perhaps only psychologically does it help me drift off to sleep a little bit easier).

So far as counselling goes I find it very difficult. My parents are away at the moment and I've only heard from them today, in some ways it's been nice to have a break from them.

I was very sad to hear about the food banks on the news last night, it makes me sick to think of people in this country going hungry. Suppose I've had a very sheltered background and have before shut things like this out of my mind, being honest I knew things went on, just I denied it. If someone was "poor", it was THEIR fault; now I acknowledge that life really isn't so clear cut.

Mara_uk7

Course you have fweinds ... And real virtual fweinds at that. We dont give a scooby what car you drive, what job you do, or whether youre wearing this seasons designer label . We dont care that you will holiday in a tent in Centre parcs instead of the Bahamas ... We just care that you succeed and are happy.

Damn I get maudlin when I cant sleep ! X