Mr and Mrs K's New Journey to a Debt Free Life.

AlexLK

fc123 wrote: »

There are all types from traditional cheap ones like Whitechapel to swishy foody ones like Borough Market. Both run everyday.

I don't think we have 'market days' where people sell live animals and stuff ....actually I know we don't.;)

Sounds really nice, don't know the places other than there used to be some gory detective show on TV set in (or was called) Whitechapel, so I'm guessing not the most desirable of areas? :rotfl:

We do, in Bakewell!

fc123 wrote: »

The one I go to is in Blackheath and you could be in deepest Dorset if you ignored the accents. Mind you, the market has a reputation of being expensive as you have artisan cheese stalls, artisan ready meals (is there such a thing?), very expensive fish (but worth it as a treat) and so on but the basics like veg are cheaper or the same as SM non-organic prices.

Ah, sounds like the type of stalls that come to the Bakewell show to me, or the "international" ones they do over the county sometimes.

fc123 wrote: »

So in one breath she wants you to run them then in the next she says you can't as you'd be cra9 at it?
Then turns out she likes to go check them out and natter to the tenants sometimes. Mmmm, mixed messages Alex.

She is going to have to be clearer about what she really wants.

Could she join their local 'Rotary' club? She would enjoy it I am sure. Lots of charity work, fundraising social events, people like herself?

I should clarify, father thinks it's time (or in a few years time) for them to hand over responsibility, either to me or to an agency. My mother does not want that, she also doesn't want to admit she's 72 but that's a different story. :rotfl: She thinks I'm a complete waster.

I think she'd enjoy something like that too but doubt she'd try.

AlexLK

Iwillsucceed wrote: »

Hahaha! Just like me! Haha ha

I guess that is just one aspect and does not shape who we are because as we can see, we all have potential for change! You are working on your debts right? You can see the light at the end of the tunnel, you have set a goal to be a DF by 2014! Then save some money and perhaps invest in BTLs! So tell me who is got the will? Who is the one with the strong will? You!!!

Definitely working on the debts. Target is to be debt free by Christmas 2014, which I think is easily achievable, target after that is to save £30K. To be honest, I do want to invest in BTL at some point but not in the rush to do it like I was.

Iwillsucceed_2

No doubt you will do it!! Why not? Step by step! Focus, determination, commitment, resilience etc, etc appear to be the ingredients to succeed!

My bed is shouting out loud my name! I am happy that I did not go out again tonight! Night, night to all..

AlexLK

IWillSucceed: *I* will succeed in the debt free journey also! Trying to remain positive about the few things that are going well.

patanne

You have a session tomorrow I believe. Why not bring up what your mother has said & see where it goes from there. At least it will give them some idea of what they are up against. Believe me that no matter how disappointed you may be in a child this is not the norm. Maybe a one off OMG type of conversation but never a regular occurring one.

AlexLK

Patanne: Thank you. Yes, I have a counselling session tomorrow, was not going to bring this up. However, I suppose it does affect me, so thank you for the advice.

As I've said before, I understand why she says the type of things she does. It probably upsets my wife more than I now.

*Robin*

AlexLK wrote: »

Patanne: Thank you. Yes, I have a counselling session tomorrow, was not going to bring this up. However, I suppose it does affect me, so thank you for the advice.

As I've said before, I understand why she says the type of things she does. It probably upsets my wife more than I now.

Patanne is right, please do bring the emotional abuse Mother has inflicted on you all your life to the counsellor's attention.
Also the comment in bold, which you have repeated several times - you may find his/her response interesting (and possibly enlightening ).

bess1234_2

A few weeks ago what you actually wrote was little k had a tantrum when your mum said scummies. I thought then that he wasn't having a tantrum, he was showing distress.

I know you are torn between love for your parents and dislike of the poison that comes out of her mouth, but how do you feel about little k wilting under the confidence wrecking bile, and maybe suffering like you when he's older?

Can you take him out of her care and increase his nursery hours? Because I don't believe she can be holding her tongue when you aren't there.

Don't mention money. You are a wealthy man, with a happy family and a good life. Whose voice is telling you that your not? Your depression,and your mother.

gallygirl

patanne wrote: »

You have a session tomorrow I believe. Why not bring up what your mother has said & see where it goes from there. At least it will give them some idea of what they are up against. Believe me that no matter how disappointed you may be in a child this is not the norm. Maybe a one off OMG type of conversation but never a regular occurring one.

Completely agree :T.

AlexLK wrote: »

Patanne: Thank you. Yes, I have a counselling session tomorrow, was not going to bring this up. However, I suppose it does affect me, so thank you for the advice.

As I've said before, I understand why she says the type of things she does. It probably upsets my wife more than I now.

I don't think you do Alex. A fair few of us on here have grown up children. We would NEVER ever ever say things like that to them. No matter what you think it is abusive, and has affected you more than you realise. It's nothing to do with being strong willed - I'll take her on any time in that department . I'm proud of the fact my children haven't followed what I would have chosen for them, not disappointed or ashamed, it shows I brought up 2 independent people :T.

Fast forward 30 years and picture Little K living in a horrible area, dead-end, uncreative job, a single parent of 3 children by 3 different mothers. You may be disappointed in his choices but try to picture yourself saying some of the things your mother says to you. Actually sit there and say out loud 'Little K I'm ashamed of you' 'Little K you must have been swapped at birth' (make sure he's not in earshot obviously ). How does that make you feel? Can you actually imagine ever saying that to someone you love so much?

Now imagine what it would be like to grow up with that attitude around him, reinforced daily. Would you expect him to grow up well adjusted, self confident and happy? Or troubled, insecure and depressed? Would you do that to your child? Seems to me your mother has no qualms over it.

IainHL

AlexLK wrote: »

.
.
Not yet, Roland. We should have waited until we were in our mid-thirties. In some ways she is right as we cannot afford to give him some of the things my parents gave me.

What you and Mrs K do give Little K is available in bountiful supply and costs nothing... your love and support.
And that is the most important thing, the rest is just trimmings.