Mr and Mrs K's New Journey to a Debt Free Life.

gallygirl

I think it's best I keep my thoughts on your mother to myself Alex. But have a dodgy hug :grouphug: - I'm sure you need one :mad:.

Iwillsucceed_2

Hi Alex,
I was fine thank you!

I don't like your mum! :-(
How old does she think is old enough to have a child? Why will she say such a nasty comment? That you should have been 'swapped' at birth?
That really hurts! Comments like that would only make anybody not appreciated? Worthless? No wanted? Aghhh!
I have told you before and I shall say it again : your mum is the root of all your mental health problems. I really think you need to challenge her kindly..

I am very angry and sad! She said that grrrr!
I think you are a thoughtful husband, a lovely son and a wonderful, wonderful father!!

*Robin*

AlexLK wrote: »

My mother and I appear to be at loggerheads again after her telling me that my wife and I were irresponsible to have a planned child at such a young age. Apparently, I must have been "swapped at birth" and have brought her "nothing but shame".

Eee Gods, Alex. The woman has serious issues; hardly surprising you struggle with depression if you've had to listen to that sort of confidence-knocking rubbish all your life!

Time to protect yourself; recognise that when she says things like this, it's manifesting her problem, not yours (anyone else wondered about borderline personality disorder? ETA: Or narcissism?).

You're doing great. Look back to your first posts here if you doubt it.

ps. Glad to hear Master K's birthday party was a success. :T

Mara_uk7

Your mother is an ungrateful wretch, she should be glad you gave her a grandchild while she was still [STRIKE]alive enough[/STRIKE] young enough to enjoy him !
What a woman ! Sheesh !

fc123

AlexLK wrote: »

Mrs. K. and I usually prep meals together and thought we were the only ones! You get farmers markets in London?

I'm fairly sure I have at least a few food intolerances which only seem to get worse from eating takeaways and sometimes even things prepared at home. However, that hasn't seemed to stop me so far.

Of course

Mind you ours in a posh suburb (and OH saw Theresa May in it last week looking very stylish) so I have a 10 - 15 min drive but easy to park as it's in a station car park and it's £2 for 60 mins parking so it's always got space

But the veg is way cheaper than any supermarket and with a far more varied choice plus it's all organic too.

Some of the meat is not so cheap I don't 'do' intensive / battery' so, when we can't afford the proper meat, we are creative with pulses, vegetables and cheese.
But the bacon man sells organic bacon that is offcuts and @ £2 for 500 gm, it is a bargain and we don't ever buy supermarket stuff now as it has no flavour.

The chicken man's organic chickens are big and cost £12-ish but last twice as long as a supermarket organic one (which cost about £8) as got to be nearly twice the size and double the taste.

7roland8

Yes if you had not had a child then you would be criticised for not providing her with a grandchild.

There are plenty of us kn here Alex who can see you are a good father and a decent chap - as others have said - its her personality fault - not yours.

fc123

How do you respond to your mother when she says hurtful things to you...does she say them in a 'jokey' tone or dead serious?

Could be time to consider a different response in future...not necessarily a challenging one but one that is different to now...as she keeps saying this stuff to you.

AlexLK

gallygirl wrote: »

I think it's best I keep my thoughts on your mother to myself Alex. But have a dodgy hug :grouphug: - I'm sure you need one :mad:.

Thank you! :rotfl: She and I are not on the best terms at the moment.

Iwillsucceed wrote: »

Hi Alex,
I was fine thank you!

I don't like your mum! :-(
How old does she think is old enough to have a child? Why will she say such a nasty comment? That you should have been 'swapped' at birth?
That really hurts! Comments like that would only make anybody not appreciated? Worthless? No wanted? Aghhh!
I have told you before and I shall say it again : your mum is the root of all your mental health problems. I really think you need to challenge her kindly..

I am very angry and sad! She said that grrrr!
I think you are a thoughtful husband, a lovely son and a wonderful, wonderful father!!

Mother doesn't believe Mrs. K. and I should have planned to have a baby until we were in our mid thirties for various reasons (some fair enough, some less so).

She's not all bad and in some ways I understand where she is coming from. She went through hell to have a child and ended up with one she sees as a disappointment despite spending an awful lot of money on me but thank you for the encouraging words.

*Robin* wrote: »

Eee Gods, Alex. The woman has serious issues; hardly surprising you struggle with depression if you've had to listen to that sort of confidence-knocking rubbish all your life!

Time to protect yourself; recognise that when she says things like this, it's manifesting her problem, not yours (anyone else wondered about borderline personality disorder?).

You're doing great. Look back to your first posts here if you doubt it.

ps. Glad to hear Master K's birthday party was a success. :T

Robin: Thank you for the encouraging words and for reminding me of our great party which has made me smile.

I doubt my mother has borderline personality disorder, more just is a strong willed person in the first place.

AlexLK

Mara_uk7 wrote: »

Your mother is an ungrateful wretch, she should be glad you gave her a grandchild while she was still [STRIKE]alive enough[/STRIKE] young enough to enjoy him !
What a woman ! Sheesh !

Mara: I don't know what to say to this but my wife thought it amusing, not going to tell her off this time.

fc123 wrote: »

Of course

Mind you ours in a posh suburb (and OH saw Theresa May in it last week looking very stylish) so I have a 10 - 15 min drive but easy to park as it's in a station car park and it's £2 for 60 mins parking so it's always got space

But the veg is way cheaper than any supermarket and with a far more varied choice plus it's all organic too.

Some of the meat is not so cheap I don't 'do' intensive / battery' so, when we can't afford the proper meat, we are creative with pulses, vegetables and cheese.
But the bacon man sells organic bacon that is offcuts and @ £2 for 500 gm, it is a bargain and we don't ever buy supermarket stuff now as it has no flavour.

The chicken man's organic chickens are big and cost £12-ish but last twice as long as a supermarket organic one (which cost about £8) as got to be nearly twice the size and double the taste.

Glad to here even you city dwellers are not buying EVERYTHING from the supermarkets.

We don't "do" intensive / battery products either (OK apart from the guilty takeaways ), I mean for our own cooking and I believe I can taste the difference. However, I am very lucky to live where I do so far as food is concerned.

7roland8 wrote: »

Yes if you had not had a child then you would be criticised for not providing her with a grandchild.

There are plenty of us kn here Alex who can see you are a good father and a decent chap - as others have said - its her personality fault - not yours.

Not yet, Roland. We should have waited until we were in our mid-thirties. In some ways she is right as we cannot afford to give him some of the things my parents gave me. That is according to her, now their duty "all over again". It really grates on my nerves to be honest, after all it's not as if we live in some cold, damp bedsit and on canned beans all the time.:mad::mad: OK our house and situation is not the best but not the worse either.

Thank you for your encouraging the words nevertheless and please don't listen to me ranting on, I'll probably not be so :mad: tomorrow.

AlexLK

fc123 wrote: »

How do you respond to your mother when she says hurtful things to you...does she say them in a 'jokey' tone or dead serious?

Could be time to consider a different response in future...not necessarily a challenging one but one that is different to now...as she keeps saying this stuff to you.

She's not joking. The topic of her retiring "in five years" (her words) from managing the BTLs they have (father wants to hand over responsibility to an agent, mother doesn't like the thought of them taking fees for the pleasure) came up and she basically hit the roof that I "couldn't be trusted" with the BTL properties because I'd end up "bankrupting" them.

That of course opened up the can of worms regarding my previous "irresponsible behaviour" and onto my latest "endeavours".