Mr and Mrs K's New Journey to a Debt Free Life.

7roland8

Well good for using the slow cooker - and there are lots more meals you can soon adapt.

I think we'll leave you off buying the footstool as you obviously needed a lfit after the counseling - and don't feel despondent after the first time - I expect these things take longer to have an effect.

I am sure that writing things out here can be beneficial - at least it gets things out of your head and people are often advised to journal or keep a diary.

Never mind - loon forward to the Birthday party now.

PS - didn't seem very good of the Nursery to be telling you off - everyone is entitled to parent in whatever way they see fit - even if the organisers don't approve. No one likes having their parenting skills criticised - even if its warranted.

LannieDuck

Aww, Alex. Everyone has bad days.

I don't have experience of counselling myself, but I understand the initial sessions can be difficult as you get used to talking about very personal things with a stranger. I've also heard a lot of people say how important it is to find a counseller you get on with and can work with.

Don't worry about the antique. If you can sell it for what you bought it for, it's not the end of the world. It's just made you feel worse than you needed to today. In a way that's a positive thing - you know when you don't really need to spend money, and your mind is reacting in a very useful way!

As for nursery, well all us first time parents are feeling our way through the whole parenthood thing. We're all going to make mistakes. Having someone who knows what they're talking about advise you along the way may be helpful. Now you have a new approach you can try, and hopefully it may make the situation better.

AlexLK

7roland8 wrote: »

Well good for using the slow cooker - and there are lots more meals you can soon adapt.

I think we'll leave you off buying the footstool as you obviously needed a lfit after the counseling - and don't feel despondent after the first time - I expect these things take longer to have an effect.

I am sure that writing things out here can be beneficial - at least it gets things out of your head and people are often advised to journal or keep a diary.

Never mind - loon forward to the Birthday party now.

PS - didn't seem very good of the Nursery to be telling you off - everyone is entitled to parent in whatever way they see fit - even if the organisers don't approve. No one likes having their parenting skills criticised - even if its warranted.

Do you have any slow cooker recipes? I think it was you who recommended it to us in the first place.

Yes, the counselling will take a while, I am aware of that, it was just very difficult as things I have not come to terms with in my own head were discussed. Whilst I'm aware that is the point, it didn't make it any easier for me.

We are looking forward to the birthday party.

I suppose me using the words "telling off" was a bit harsh, it was more advice about a problem that has been going on for the past two weeks or so and what the nursery said made a lot of sense.

LannieDuck wrote: »

Aww, Alex. Everyone has bad days.

I don't have experience of counselling myself, but I understand the initial sessions can be difficult as you get used to talking about very personal things with a stranger. I've also heard a lot of people say how important it is to find a counseller you get on with and can work with.

Don't worry about the antique. If you can sell it for what you bought it for, it's not the end of the world. It's just made you feel worse than you needed to today. In a way that's a positive thing - you know when you don't really need to spend money, and your mind is reacting in a very useful way!

As for nursery, well all us first time parents are feeling our way through the whole parenthood thing. We're all going to make mistakes. Having someone who knows what they're talking about advise you along the way may be helpful. Now you have a new approach you can try, and hopefully it may make the situation better.

Thank you for the supportive post. I suppose subconsciously, I felt I was going to fall off the wagon so chose to look around the antiques shops rather than somewhere that could do more "damage".

Having had the advice, I can see how my wife and I were "allowing" the situation with our son to continue.

mum2one

AlexLK wrote: »

Thursday 14th November, 2013.
Day 75.

Dear Diary,

If I were to pretend today has been a good one, I'd be lying.
This is what your diary is for to let everything out


Counselling was similar to what I remember before, coming out feeling rather battered and would rather not go into the details of it.
I can understand, but trying to flip the coin, they have to really route through to the bottom of the issues to be able to bring them out and address them, thou I found that I was low as well, as everything was out but no solution, your get there xx


At times like this I wonder if I am ever going to overcome depression though in my battle to, I'm going back.
Sometimes you do take 2 steps back to get one forward, it sounds mad but I think sometimes you have to hit rock bottom to know what it feels like and how to pick yourself up

In regard to my illness sometimes I read back what I say on here about my mental health and feel extremely embarrassed, for I wouldn't admit to half of it in the real world. However, in some odd way it helps to write about it.
Thats the idea of the diary, write it all out, as it helps and over time your look back and see how far you have come

Like the idiot I am,less of that....

I ended up browsing the antiques shops and bought something I don't really need. Whilst it would sell for the £70 I bought it for all day long and perhaps more, it was still a stupid impulse buy that I now feel guilty about.

Ok it was an impulse purchase, but whilst not agreeing with it, you dont get away with it that easy, it was £70 better than previous spends, and also now you have realised why you brought it, that in itself is worth a lot

Just to put the icing on the cake my wife and I have been having a problem with our son for a couple of weeks which came to it's peak at nursery today, cumulating in us getting told off for apparently making the situation worse.
I hope you get the nursery issue solved,

Moving swiftly onto debt busting, hahaha, you must be joking if you think I've managed to get anything done on that front.
Ok you haven't done any physical debt busting today, you dont have to go break neck speed every day, youve got full and finals in the process, your addressing debts, a little can cover more than one day

The one positive of the day has to be the slow cooked creamy curry we had this evening, whilst terrible for one's health it was utterly delicious.

Wow to the slow cooker, your love it, and I love the sound of the curry
Summary:
+£25.00 Music Teaching.
-£60.00 Counselling.
-£7.50 Groceries.
-£20.00 Butchers.
-£70.00 Victorian Footstool.

Yours Faithfully (from an annoyed with himself),
Alex.

You have nothing to be annoyed about, if anything you should be proud of yourself - youve started the counselling, and that is a damm big step. xx

mum2one

I thought I'd give you a laugh....

Went to theatre last night with DD, it was an experience... the interval - enroute to the toilet, i'm on the way up the steps at the side to go to the door, this woman pushes in front of me, she bashes her foot into my crutches (I couldn't have done it any better myself!!), - (got DD holding onto my jumper at the back) - then this woman makes a sarky comment about being partied from her friend, - so firmly but loud enough to be heard, I aid "If you were that bothered about your friend you would have waited for her then cutting up a poor disabled person". She apologised!! x

PS - Tooth or should I say lack of tooth feels better this time around, still painful but hopefully haven't picked an infection up. xx

bess1234_2

A small footstool is neither here or there on the day you have to b#lls to stand up and look your demons in the eye. Know anyone who fancies a footstool for Christmas? :T

I'm sure little k is doing what every other child has done, and you are going through what every other parent has. What felony has he committed? I remember the tears tantrums, embarrassment, and that was just me. :rotfl: writing on walls was a hard phase. I still don't understand why dd did it. But with each interaction with the real world, hopefully you will flinch a little less.

Carry on writing away. Tis normal to find it an outlet, or use that expensive notebook and the green ink as a journal. Your depression is spoiling what sounds like a good and happy life, but don't be embarrassed about expressing it, a lot of worse things happen at sea.

Now when's this party we re all looking forward to?

Take care x

gallygirl

I agree with the others Alex. If you didn't feel unsettled after the counselling then you probably wouldn't have opened up properly so see it as a positive. You know you need to continue - I hope you find it cathartic as time goes on.

As for the footstool - well, no permanent damage. Sell it on, then you can congratulate yourself on being astute under pressure.

Glad you liked the slow cooker. We'd have needed a whip round to pay for it if you hadn't .

Hope you manage to sort out Little K, glad you got good advice and things are falling into place.

Have a good day.

I'm off to make a donation to the helpline for distressed counsellors .

debtfreewannabe321

Alex don't be harsh on yourself regarding the nursery, well you're a first time parent and they are the experienced childcare providers so will have seen it all as someone else said and so are just offering some words of wisdom. This happened a lot to me when my ds1 was young, they were always very nice about it and just offered the advice as an option to try.

The footstool- get it done up and put it up for sale on fleabay with *christmas present* in the tag line it will sell i'm sure so get on it

Well done for using the slowcooker :T

The counselling, i've never been throughout my battles with depression as there was always a waiting list for NHS ones unfortunately but I always thought it would be a case of having to fall apart first in there and bringing out all the demons to face them and put them to rest before picking up the pieces again.

I hope today is a better day This week was carp for me too so roll on next week

maddiemay

Good morning Alex, so pleased that you made the counselling session, it is hard at first, but it is good positive action which will, hopefully pave the way for a better life for you and your family.

So, that's one positive from yesterday.
Second - Yummy curry.
Third - accepting some advice that may help with Little K.
Fourth - the money from teaching, pretty much covered the spends at butchers and grocers.
Fifth - (pushing it a bit, but) you now have a new item of stock to get smartened up and sold for a Christmas present.

For slow cooker recipes, have a look at a few pages from the old style board, title is something along the lines of "what am I cooking in my s.c. today", some great stuff there.

I loved Mum2one's comment to the lady at the theatre:rotfl:

Have a great day Alex and supporters, I intend to try to, a bonus is that it is forecast to be dry and possibly sunny here, may be a visit on the cards to the small town where I went to school (all those years ago:rotfl:) and had my first job, first boyfriend etc.

AlexLK

mum2one wrote: »

I thought I'd give you a laugh....

Went to theatre last night with DD, it was an experience... the interval - enroute to the toilet, i'm on the way up the steps at the side to go to the door, this woman pushes in front of me, she bashes her foot into my crutches (I couldn't have done it any better myself!!), - (got DD holding onto my jumper at the back) - then this woman makes a sarky comment about being partied from her friend, - so firmly but loud enough to be heard, I aid "If you were that bothered about your friend you would have waited for her then cutting up a poor disabled person". She apologised!! x

PS - Tooth or should I say lack of tooth feels better this time around, still painful but hopefully haven't picked an infection up. xx

Thank you for all your positive comments.

I didn't know you were ill, mum2one, good for you though! My mother said something similar when somebody carelessly bashed into my father in town after he'd come out of hospital early this year.

Glad to hear the latest tooth extraction was not as bad as the first.

bess1234 wrote: »

A small footstool is neither here or there on the day you have to b#lls to stand up and look your demons in the eye. Know anyone who fancies a footstool for Christmas? :T

I'm sure little k is doing what every other child has done, and you are going through what every other parent has. What felony has he committed? I remember the tears tantrums, embarrassment, and that was just me. :rotfl: writing on walls was a hard phase. I still don't understand why dd did it. But with each interaction with the real world, hopefully you will flinch a little less.

Carry on writing away. Tis normal to find it an outlet, or use that expensive notebook and the green ink as a journal. Your depression is spoiling what sounds like a good and happy life, but don't be embarrassed about expressing it, a lot of worse things happen at sea.

Now when's this party we re all looking forward to?

Take care x

Bess: Thank you for such an encouraging post.

Yes, I do actually if it were recovered. In fact, you've just gave me an idea, thank you.

:rotfl: In regard to son, my wife and I really were not making things any better. Basically he had a few "accidents" at nursery, my wife and I took what we thought was a prudent decision which in fact made things a lot worse (having him wear pull ups). In his mind it seemed to give him a "licence" to wet himself during the day. Can't believe I'm actually admitting this on here.

Onto brighter things, party is on Sunday. And, I hope I can sort my problems with depression out, at least I'm attempting to now instead of pretending it doesn't exist (that doesn't work).

gallygirl wrote: »

I agree with the others Alex. If you didn't feel unsettled after the counselling then you probably wouldn't have opened up properly so see it as a positive. You know you need to continue - I hope you find it cathartic as time goes on.

As for the footstool - well, no permanent damage. Sell it on, then you can congratulate yourself on being astute under pressure.

Glad you liked the slow cooker. We'd have needed a whip round to pay for it if you hadn't .

Hope you manage to sort out Little K, glad you got good advice and things are falling into place.

Have a good day.

I'm off to make a donation to the helpline for distressed counsellors .

I'm continuing counselling for at least a while even though it appears to have set me back a couple of years today. On the plus side, I've stayed away from the drink and Mrs. K., son and I went for a picnic for lunch - doesn't have to be just a summer thing!

I'm thinking of recovering the footstool and giving it to my parents as a joint Christmas present after Bess' suggestion, it would go well with their furniture.

:rotfl: Perhaps, it would have been prudent of me to say I didn't like the slow cooker then.

Not had a great day but there have been worse! And, they'll need all the help they can get seeing me on a regular basis.