Mr and Mrs K's New Journey to a Debt Free Life.

bess1234_2

Alex, from now on can you say that you are working hard to give your son the things your parents never gave you.

If your parents were right mrs k and little k wouldn't even exist. Your upbringing has led you to these difficulties, not because of a fault in you. You are trying to prevent little k doing the same.

AlexLK

Thank you everyone. As mentioned before I did perhaps not word my comments very well yesterday evening.

In response:

Roland: Why, of course.

Mara: I know exactly where you are coming from, we'll sort something out this weekend.

Iwillsucceed: The relationship between my wife and son is a very complicated one for various reasons.

wegle: Thank you, no plans for the weekend other than to relax. We are of course going to the parents on Sunday, I haven't seen nor spoke to them for a week so that will most likely be "interesting".

littlegreen: An interesting point of view there. Certainly something for me to think about and there is a part of me that wonders if son would be better off in adulthood if he wasn't given everything as I was.

EchoDelta: When I say "bad influence" I'm talking they didn't like the house his parents lived in. Back then, my own parents were terrible judges of others.

pelirocco: As I mentioned before I could have wrote that better, unfortunately I realise how it came across now.

Mara: Thank you.

bess: Yes, I understand. In an odd way so do they. Since they've became grandparents (well before then really), my parents have changed quite a bit in their own attitudes. Father even admits he has many regrets in regards to their attitudes toward certain things in times gone by. Apparently, they wish they had spent more time with me when I was growing up. However, they were both "workaholics".

7roland8

AlexLK wrote: »

Apparently, they wish they had spent more time with me when I was growing up. However, they were both "workaholics".

Well you are spending time with your son - as they say people never regret not spending more time at the office but they do regret time missed with children as it can never be replaced.

So be pleased you know this early on and have lots of years to fill with happy experiences and memories.

theoretica

wegle wrote: »

Re the baby clothes, just wanted to chime in that even if they do go for a little amount remember that little amounts can make a huge difference. When we were saving for our wedding I sold loads of tat on ebay, most of it only went for 99p - £5 but over a year this came to over £1000. Every little helps and all that.

I would modify this by acknowledging that Alex has a lot of stuff to sell, so probably the limiting factor is his time. Probably better to concentrate on the things which will pay best per hour and maybe he will never get to the 99p stuff and it would be better use of his time to give it away.

wegle

Agreed Theoretica. But still worth thinking about if he wishes to continue on this path past debt repaying. Mortgage overpayments and savings for example. I'm sure any charity would be very thankful for them though should he wish to donate them.

Granariesgirl

Heeeey - get you, Alex!
I see that the "Paid" went up by a fair amount since my last visit on Monday.:j
AND you, the "terrible, lazy musician" got into the orchestra, too. :T
Not to mention the business contracts... it's all happening, innit! :cool:

AlexLK wrote: »

So far as prep school goes, until very recently it was exactly what I wanted and expected for my son. However, I have been given a few reasons to discuss possible alternatives recently. Senior school is a bit of a no-brainer to me still, though.

That is EXACTLY how I felt until I arrived back in the UK & realised we couldn't really afford prep school, then senior school & plumped for the village primary school.
It is one of the best decisions we ever made: the kids met loads of local children from various different backgrounds & picked their friends from among them. I am impressed by their good judgement as whatever the financial situation of their mates' families, they all have various things in common: strong family values, loyalty, an emphasis on Ps & Qs etc.
I'm not sure it would be the same in an inner city, but here in the sticks we have farmers, farm workers, various professionals, small business owners, people on benefits, people in the latest Mercs, SAHM's, SAHD's... it's a chance for kids to meet some of the huge variety of people there are out in the big wide world & it's GREAT!
Although I was at boarding School from 3rd form (yr6) till I finished A'levels, I also had an - er - eclectic education (expat brat), being put in whichever school was available in the sometimes very basic places we lived: it taught me to mix with anyone & never to judge by appearances...
This is what the village school has taught DC1 & is still teaching DC2.
It was at my very expensive boarding school that I learnt to hotwire cars though (I kid you not)!:rotfl:

I honestly think Little K would benefit greatly from mixing with various levels of society early on & not learning those prejudices that were instilled in you at an early age & which you are having a hard time overcoming now. They'll be the mates who'll be around when he needs help - after all, how many of your "mates" from school are ringing to cheer you up now?
Please reconsider private pre-prep & prep - though you will need a bit of tutoring for the senior school entrance exam to get him up to speed with exam technique... all in, that was about £500 for DC1 - a BARGAIN compared to what we would have haemorrhaged to pay for private primary education!
We looked at both the best local public & state schools for senior school & it was left to DC1 to choose after a few serious discussions, with us & with various friends & neighbours...
NOW we're haemorrhaging money but I guess it's in a good cause!:eek:

Have your parents considered setting up a Trust Fund or something, dedicated solely to educating their grandchild/ren? Could be a way to avoid Inheritance Tax, too...

Hope this all makes sense as it's been a long & sh*tty week here & I'm two Sea Breezes up... hic!

AlexLK

Thank you all. I am not feeling very well, have not had a great day (not for financial or other reasons but because I am not well) so I am aware my posts will be less than articulate.

In response:

Roland: Thank you and no, I will not regret choosing to spend time with my wife and son rather than work. I realised a few years ago career success did not give me happiness.

theoretica / wegle: We have decided to donate the used clothes and sell the never-worn, still tagged clothes.

Granaries: Thank you for a great post.

We have a lot to think about in regard to our son's education and unfortunately, to act upon certain schools decisions do need to be made rather soon. The village school is good and well regarded, my parents want him to go to my former prep school.

I laughed as you mentioned being taught to hotwire cars at your boarding school (I was a day pupil at mine, mainly due to parents not wanting me involved with any "bad influences") ... anyhow, ditto ... in a way; my father hotwired his old Jag when it wouldn't start and he was picking me up from school - the autobox inhibitor switch had failed. :rotfl:

LOL, I do find it amusing how you think Mrs. K. and I may choose to have another child. That. Is. Not. Going. To. Happen. There was once upon a time that Mrs. K. was open to more than one (I wasn't really) but she has said under no circumstances would she have another now.

As for my parents, I'm not sure I wish for them to pay for my son's education or anything else at the moment. Father wants us to move there and for them to move out. However, I'm not sure I wish to receive anymore handouts from them.

AlexLK

Friday 4th October, 2013.
Day 33.

Dear Diary,

This entry is going to be awfully short as I've not managed to do an awful lot today other than be ill. Fortunately, it seems only I am ill, my wife and son are completely unaffected. However, on the more positive front, I had an enquiry resulting in a new piano student starting next Friday.

As Sunday draws closer I am beginning to dread visiting the parents, especially as I have avoided talking to them for the whole week.

Summary:
+£25.00 Music Teaching.
-£0.00, No Spend Day.

Yours Faithfully,
Alex.

7roland8

Paid: £435!
Money Saved towards future Full and Final Settlements: £9,625.

Wow Alex - you should be really proud of those figures in such a short time.
Don't envy you Sunday - why not have a 'job' on somewhere instead?

AlexLK

Roland: I am, thank you. And, LOL, they'd be devastated if I did such a thing :rotfl:. However, they have been ringing all week and confirmed with my wife today that we'd be over on Sunday.