This Time I'm Really Going To Do It

Watty1

Said with feeling there @badmemory

Another not so good day in that I have realised a lot of the stock I hold has a sell by date unacceptable to my main reseller.  I've just thought I could try popping it on Ebay so I might do that tomorrow.   This evening I plan on meeting girlfriends for a drink at the local pub.  I need a glass of wine after the last two days.  

Tomorrow is another day!

Humdinger1

Indeed it is @Watty1! You'll come through this with flying colours, just as you always do.  Onwards and upwards love Humdinger xx 

Watty1

Today is another day.  I've someone clearing the ragwort from the field.  Again expensive but I am simply exhausted and going to be kind to me by paying to do what needs to be done.    I think I can afford this if I am frugal elsewhere and as my strength and energy returns I can revise spending.

I'm not going to stress too much about the business. It is what it is and I've sat down and worked out a plan that might be doable.  At least it will lower the company corporation tax!

Karmacat

I'm so glad the house seems to be secure against the ex now, but you've still got a lot going on!  Paying to clear ragwort sounds a good idea, its identifiable and really necessary.

And can I just say what a brilliant idea to use hair conditioner on wool!  I have an old woollen blanket (from childhood!) that I'm going to put in the car (when I get it ) for emergency use, and a lot of excess hair conditioner.  Liking the idea of putting the two together.

Watty1

Do try it KC.  It has worked a treat here.

Spent the weekend supporting a friend who has thrown her husband out for cheating.  That bought up a lot of stuff for me.  For the last 3 months I thought she was going to forgive him then suddenly she snapped and asked him to leave. She will do what is right for her and I will support her whatever she decides and have made that clear but it is a tough one when it feels so close to home.

On the upside a nice ride with Charming Cob and a breakfast date with the VNM.  Delicious breakfast at a local hotel/pub and a really nice time.  Back to work this morning and still feel overwhelmed with work but slowly clearing stuff.

Watty1

The ex kept wanting to meet up re WattyDog so decided to get that out of the way today.   After all the fuss he has made he thinks WattyDog has a nicer life with me and that he cannot look after WattyDog.

Hmmm.  I knew that.  He works in London and who would look after WattyDog I asked?  Turns out he no longer works the nightshifts.    And what happens when he is with his girlfriend?   I already know they exclude WattyDog and shut him in the conservatory or garden because says the ex one makes allowances when one is in someone's house, a view I gave short shrift too,  One doesn't take the dog to a "pack" situation then exclude him.    For the first time I was very hard and focused on the best interests of WattyDog.   I have always thought he loves WattyDog and if WattyDog could speak I know WattyDog would pick the ex as "his" as he always loved him more than me and was very much bonded to him but he cannot care for the dog.

I declined to take WattyDog to the meeting as it simply was, IMHO not fair on WattyDog.  And the ex would like the dog but feels it would be unfair on him whilst he is in London to be in the house with people coming to let him out and take him for walks. He would still spend a lot of time alone and that is something he is not used to apparently (actually it happens here and he manages but still....)

I was equally firm that he choose this dog, he wanted this dog and now I feel I have been left with him. He was not the dog I would have chosen.  The result is that, for now, WattyDog will stay with me but the ex will pay his insurance. There will be no dog sharing, I was clear about how stressful that would be for pup and interestingly he quickly agreed with that.

Surprised at how amenable he was. Rather disorientating. I have struggled to work since the meeting.

Wicked of me to say this but I will here - his blood pressure is uncontrollable with drugs and his blood cancer doesn't respond either. His doctors have told him to reduce stress and weight and so he has decided to work 3 days a week, some of which is from home and to concentrate on his health.    He seemed to have a lot of health concerns and has taken up with a personal trainer and eating properly and going on long walks.   I just shrugged and said nice to have the income to be able to go part time, and sarcastically reminded him he could only take retirement next November because he had walked away with my house and a good pension plan.  I also added that if I had thought he would have croaked soon I wouldn't have left ....but as he showed no signs of that I did leave!  He was slightly horrified by that but there we go.

Seems Karma is doing her thing.    Although unsettling to see him I did not feel a great deal of sympathy with his various and many health issues (he always was worrying about his health so I suppose that is where Karma would strike)   and I think he is a very fortunate position financially.  

That said, I am fine. I have a nice life, I have my health and friends, lovely horses, an adorable cat and now WattyDog too.  I do regret leaving sometimes and sitting drinking tea with him in a local cafe was such a mind mess up because it felt in some ways like the past and yet everything is very different.  He could not, or would not, participate in a relationship with me that worked for me.   And Karma is striking back and giving him much to worry about.

daisy_1571

Reads, giggles, sends calming thoughts to watty and watty dog, exits still sniggering      
Daisy xx

Karmacat

That's amazing that you managed to verbalize how he stole from you!  Good for you!  

As for your own temporary regrets ... well, you thought you had a very different relationship from the one you *actually* had.  And the one you actually had didn't work for you at all, never did.  Look at your list of what you've got - you're not saying money/stocks and shares/ bonds, you're saying "my health and friends, lovely horses, an adorable cat and now WattyDog too".  That's lovely!  When you stick with who you are like that, you're on a winner  

ajmoney

Karmacat said:

When you stick with who you are like that, you're on a winner  

I love this, I am going to borrow it if you don't mind

Humdinger1

Not gloating, but didn't I say that Karma would be on the case.  Well done @Watty1 for being assertive.   This is part of putting this relationshipin its proper place, no?! Love Humdinger xx