This Time I'm Really Going To Do It

Suffolk_lass

If you are anything like me, you keep going, keep going, keep going, then suddenly, splat! The adrenaline of the cliff edge washes away and you are physically exhausted, and probably vulnerable to colds and what not. When I stopped working, I literally spent two weeks in bed, feeling exhausted and flu-like, before waking one morning feeling just brilliant. So what you are experiencing is probably completely normal after such a big thing, and like a grieving wave, it will come and go because you have the emotional investment that I had only to a much smaller and controlled degree. xx

badmemory

I agree, you have been through the mill.  Give yourself permission to take a break from the rest of lifes ***** & let your mind & body recover, they have both taken a massive hit.  Now would be a good time to drag out those unused covid masks to protect you, not just from covid but from all the other stuff floating around.

Watty1

I think the "keep going" and "splat" about sum it up.   I'm to exhausted to really think clearly but I did send a letter to the council to try and put off them taking legal action.  On reflection though that was not the best idea so I have written to his solicitor to say that I will pay the council tax in return for his share of the farm machinery.

Waiting for an answer on that (his solicitor was on holiday Friday).

Watty1

I spent most of the weekend asleep or on the sofa reading or in bed watching TV.   Sort of checking out of life to have a rest.

The boiler was serviced today.  It seemed odd to have arranged that myself and dealt with it but as i walked outside of the house I thought "I can do this" and "it is a very nice life".
Coffee with 3 friends this morning and an afternoon in the office. This evening I will go and get salt for the water softner thingy. I've no idea how long it has been out of salt but that is something I can do as well.  It feels a gentle sort of day.

Suffolk_lass

Nice. Small rewards, reinforcing that you are strong, independent and capable! Lovely

Humdinger1

Congrats @Watty1...new starts can be gentle and you are indeed incredibly capable.  Take care of yourself and enjoy your new space love Humdinger xx 

SusieT

That time out sounds exactly what you need. Hopefully you will hear from his lawyer quickly and he will have agreed to the equipment/tax swap. If so, you may well have everything (bar the conveyancing) done in a couple of days, and Friday the house will be clear of him and all his "stuff" so you can go forwards with cleaning wherever he has emptied and getting anything you want rearranged or changed done  

Honeysucklelou2

So pleased for you Watty1. How amazing that the lady from the domestic abuse group was there…and that you could have a supportive presence with you in court.  

Watty1

And just like that it is done.  All his stuff as agreed was removed from the house. I realised I had agreed to  the beds going (I guess a solicitor would have spotted that LOL) but we came to a very amicable arrangement that i would keep the one that is in bits and that I would keep one mattress,   I had £200 in cash on me so I gave him that, he started to decline but i said just take it I don't want to discuss it.  Then we got to the freezer that he wanted and he suddenly turned and said he had only said he would take it to be difficult and he was sorry about that and he would like to leave it because he had nowhere to actually put it anyway. I've put the freezer on to defrost which has needed doing for months and I will give it a good clean as it is stored in a barn and that has saved me buying a new one.   

I've popped on to Amaz0n and purchased a new remote for the very old TV that he was taking but didn't want and a fire stick for it so for not a lot of money it will be working and nicely usable so happy with that.

That all sounds very capable but the reality is I've had quite a few tears and been flaked out on the sofa.  I think this is grief for what was once there, for all the wonderful times and the happy memories  from before the breakdown and for the dream it could have been rebuilt somehow which might have been a fantasy but it was there in my head anyway.    I really am feeling lost, tearful and very down.

Watty1

I should add that his solicitor sent me another letter threatening legal action and her usual dreadful approach.  Finding him sad and reflective I said I didn't want to do it through a solicitor anymore as I'm just fed up with her attitude and he is clearly approving the letters so he needs to decide which hill he stands on,  bully or nice chap and we agreed we would talk in a month.

When I feel stronger I will write and tell her I'm not dealing with that kind of crap from them anymore.  Not today when all I want to do is cry, but maybe next week.