This Time I'm Really Going To Do It

Ramouth

You have been through so much Watty and I agree with everything others have said, time to be kind to yourself.  Despite not being a member of AA, and not religious, I find the serenity prayer they use to be a helpful mantra in times of stress.  It seems like you have some great people around you which will really help too.  Thinking of you x Ramouth

Suffolk_lass

I prefer the original version which is about courage; "Father, give us courage to change what must be altered, serenity to accept what cannot be helped, and the insight to know the one from the other." 

My Mum always says she did her grieving for my Dad on her own, putting on a smile with others. In contrast, I needed the support of my friends and some unexpected supporters. Take your time, it takes a while and pops back when you think it has finished x

edinburgher

You've only gone and done it @Watty1 So proud of you, striding out of hell with aplomb 🤗

Watty1

Two large glasses of wine, a hot bath and I slept straight through the night. Feel dreadful this morning but having spent the weekend working I came into my office to find a tidy desk.  Which had been my goal for the weekend.

The temptation to message the ex was huge. I had a really cute video of Wattydog on a walk and I was going to send it but I did not and I know he is on a course today and that he will have the course but again I did not.

I am telling myself it is trauma and a cup of tea and a chocolate biscuit will be of more help (I purchased a luxury tin of chocolate biscuits at the weekend for just these moments!)

The wind is high today and I notice my anxiety has returned. The GP prescribed anti-depressants.  I am unsure about taking them.  I think this might be part of the natural process of life and taking them seems opting out.  I will think on that.

Karmacat

Watty, I'm really glad you didn't send the video to the ex.  Also that you slept straight through.  Still feeling bad is often how it is, I'm afraid, just keep on looking after yourself and WattyDog, and hold your course, you decided on it, and its a good decision.

Slinky

I regret that I tried to continue to make contact with my ex. It certainly didn't make me any happier.  It's like keep picking the top off a scab you know you shouldn't.

Try and be strong and ride it out until the temptation passes. Send your cute video to somebody else who may deserve it more.

daisy_1571

watty I see my post has been lost.  I had a few ideas for wattydog and suggested you be prepared for some kind of physical illness to maybe appear- cold, headache,  upset tum etc.

Glad to hear you resisted sending vid.  It can be sooooooooo hard to resist these things even though we know its not a good idea.  Gradually thoughts of him will recede and you will just be watty, living life, doing your thing with no reason to think of this time and only fleeting thoughts of when it was all good.  Tge life lessons can remain but the constant thoughts won't

Daisy xxx

Ps if you want the wattydog ideas just let me know

Humdinger1

Yep @Watty1 agree with all of the above.   In my opinion, there was no way you were ever going to get back to before the moment of truth...mental health issues are fiendishly difficult to deal with, even (perhaps especially) when you love someone.   Being free to live your best life is scary but there is nothing you could have done to fix him or produce a different outcome.  You owe him nothing; yourself, everything.   You are surrounded by love Watty.  Take care Humdinger xx 

LadyWithAPlan

I have just caught up with your diary - wow.
From the angel at the court house helping you get that court order, to the judge being fierce in your protection, where you are finally are at now is where we have all been hoping for you.
Amazing how the conveyancing starts moving again now he cant stalk you in your own home.
Of course there is grief but he put you through so much and will do his best no doubt to make this next part hard. However there is no way this many people have helped you get to a point that 3 months ago I did not think was possible that this was not definitely the next meant stage of your life. The universe (and your own focused action despite your fears) has got you nearer to freedom. 

You have them on the run, I would be sending a very abrasive email back to the solicitor stating that her continuing the abuse you have suffered at his hands  by her harsh language and controlling scary  letters only makes you stand taller in fighting for what is right. 

I know you are sad and exhausted but us MSE'ers are all dancing a snoopy dance that you are so close to freedom, no more scary visits, no more weirdness where he sulks around your dinner parties, no more abusive behaviour, lying and general horrid energy,

Have you tried doing a space clearing ceremony in the house to move the old stuck energy of him and also you both? For me it really helps change the energy of the place whether moving in or moving on.

Wash and clean everything, vacuum into the corners and bottom of cupboards, then have a bath to cleanse yourself.

Then make a mini altar in the middle of your home  - whatever that is to you - say on a sidetable or in the middle of a rug, or on a counter top. Decorate with fresh flowers, light a candle, incense.
Write down your fabulous intentions  for your life and your home including it being a sacred space for you to live, rest and fulfill your dreams. Then...

1. First go around the house, stroking up and down each wall, and into every cupboard. Go into every room and outbuilding as well, so touch every wall and corner in the house, this is to waken the energy.
2. Do the same route  but this time clap your hands up and down the walls.
3. Then the 3rd route use a bell and ring around each room, 
4. (optional - the other 3 steps arent) sprinkle  rock salt in every corner, around each wall line - leave for 24 hours then vacuum up

Then blow out the candle.

Suffolk_lass

LadyWithAPlan said:

I have just caught up with your diary - wow.
From the angel at the court house helping you get that court order, to the judge being fierce in your protection, where you are finally are at now is where we have all been hoping for you.
Amazing how the conveyancing starts moving again now he cant stalk you in your own home.
Of course there is grief but he put you through so much and will do his best no doubt to make this next part hard. However there is no way this many people have helped you get to a point that 3 months ago I did not think was possible that this was not definitely the next meant stage of your life. The universe (and your own focused action despite your fears) has got you nearer to freedom. 

You have them on the run, I would be sending a very abrasive email back to the solicitor stating that her continuing the abuse you have suffered at his hands  by her harsh language and controlling scary  letters only makes you stand taller in fighting for what is right. 

I know you are sad and exhausted but us MSE'ers are all dancing a snoopy dance that you are so close to freedom, no more scary visits, no more weirdness where he sulks around your dinner parties, no more abusive behaviour, lying and general horrid energy,

Have you tried doing a space clearing ceremony in the house to move the old stuck energy of him and also you both? For me it really helps change the energy of the place whether moving in or moving on.

Wash and clean everything, vacuum into the corners and bottom of cupboards, then have a bath to cleanse yourself.

Then make a mini altar in the middle of your home  - whatever that is to you - say on a sidetable or in the middle of a rug, or on a counter top. Decorate with fresh flowers, light a candle, incense.
Write down your fabulous intentions  for your life and your home including it being a sacred space for you to live, rest and fulfill your dreams. Then...

1. First go around the house, stroking up and down each wall, and into every cupboard. Go into every room and outbuilding as well, so touch every wall and corner in the house, this is to waken the energy.
2. Do the same route  but this time clap your hands up and down the walls.
3. Then the 3rd route use a bell and ring around each room, 
4. (optional - the other 3 steps arent) sprinkle  rock salt in every corner, around each wall line - leave for 24 hours then vacuum up

Then blow out the candle.

Oh Wow! Different level of cleansing. I am very taken with this. I already use distraction to combat grief, but I am rubbish at it. I know it returns in waves; and for me has physical health related impacts, but the emotional thing is something I have never really explored.

Take care Watty