This Time I'm Really Going To Do It

Watty1

In a state of shock.   Ex has agreed to settle.  He agreed last night.  I then said I thought it would be good to record it so with his permission I repeated the offer and he repeated the agreement .  I said I would send the recording to him but I couldn't work out how to.  The thing is he cannot back out now.   The recording is dated and timed.    I went home to my rental in a daze.   

Today as I mucked out I was filled with sadness.  The house has so many  memories. And there were so many good times.  I am so sad to have to move on.    I recognise that I too did not do my part to keep the relationship going and I am as culpable for the breakdown.  And I am also relieved that I can begin a new life.   And I have joy that the house will be mine.  I stood on top of the muck heap because from there (it is on a hill anyway) I could see the barn, the stables, the land, the distant hills, the garden and the house and it is mine.  And no one can take that away.    Me and my boys (animals) can live here forever if that is what we decide.  i could see the graves of the animals that have passed on.  I remembered the excitement of us buying this place, the work, the plans, the dreams.     I wondered where they all went.   And also feel that I am standing on the edge of a new life.  That will be very different.  There was a  longing for the familiarity of the past.  

Very emotional morning.  I have had a good cry. Is it sadness, joy, relief? I don't know.  What I do know is that the journey that this diary began has changed to a completely new journey and for the first time I am facing a day without needing to relate to Mr Watty in my life  and that is how it will be now.   

Alchemilla

Praise God! Well done for thinking to record it, will you get your solicitor on it first thing?

When is he moving out?

Humdinger1

@Watty1 that is incredible news! You deserve this closure.   Yes I too accepted my part when I split from exh but you have done nothing wrong; you can't keep a relationship based on a lie going, even though it didn't start like that.  You will build on this and rise triumphant love Humdinger xx 

Alchemilla

This is you.

Humdinger1

@Alchemilla yes; exactly this! Xx

daisy_1571

That pic captures the moment brilliantly 

apple_muncher

Not surprised it has been an emotional morning!!! What wonderful news. Lots of hugs and  for you and all that it yours.

LadyGnome

That is amazing news.  You have been through such a painful journey to get to this point.

Karmacat

Watty1 said:

Very emotional morning.  I have had a good cry. Is it sadness, joy, relief? I don't know.  What I do know is that the journey that this diary began has changed to a completely new journey and for the first time I am facing a day without needing to relate to Mr Watty in my life  and that is how it will be now.   

This is wonderful news!  And your complex reaction to it is completely understandable, everything changes now.  Alchemilla said:

This is you.

Yep, this is you.  

themadvix

Fantastic news Watty! A wonderful new adventure awaits!