This Time I'm Really Going To Do It

Alchemilla

I can't wait until you have your own place and can be self governing and peaceful xxx

Honeysucklelou2

Watty - I have read through much of your diary and am sorry that you have had to go through so much. You have my utmost sympathy as I have had a 5 year battle thus far to be free from my ex due to much procrastination ( not from me). Anyway wanted to wish you a Happy 2022 and hope that this will a year in which you can see positive changes.

Watty1

Honeysucklelou2 said:

Watty - I have read through much of your diary and am sorry that you have had to go through so much. You have my utmost sympathy as I have had a 5 year battle thus far to be free from my ex due to much procrastination ( not from me). Anyway wanted to wish you a Happy 2022 and hope that this will a year in which you can see positive changes.

You read through a lot of this stuff...oh my goodness thank you.   And 5 years. Phew.  That takes some strength.   I'm not sure I have it in my to last that long.    But thank you for the good wishes. Appreciate those.

Karmacat

Watty1 said:

Have been reading Ultrafrugal January.  ....  the point that has really struck a chord is reading that most of us have the money to live the life we want to lead already.  That has really got me thinking.   Truth be told i don't want takeaways, I just get them when exhausted.  I dont really want to drink much either. I just do to in mistake attempts to relieve stress.  Instead of an expensive Spa Treatment on Spa days with the girls I could go for lunch and a gossip.    And so my list goes on.  I'm leaking money I don't need to.

I'm beginning work on my dream budget.   This is what I would like my life to look like post settlement (or post walk away whichever I do).  My dream budget includes my horses obviously and exercise classes because I would love those and I'll include costs for yet to be settled housing and so on.  The general idea is to see how much the life I want to live alone will really cost me.  Once I know how much my ideal life will cost me I can decide what of it I can afford moving forwards and where to cut my cloth.  I'm thinking if I spent less wastefully I could live on less but maybe have more fun.

Hi Watty, I'm just catching up after being away, and I loved this post so much I had to go back and find it again.  Really, really good, thinking realistically and idealistically at the same time about your goals and your life.

Alchemilla

Sending kick-!!!!!! vibes to you Watty.
I wondered about the Fell pony? 

FloppyDisk

Ello to old chums!  Watty - could you play sitting ducks as well?  I think it if were me and I wanted to buy the house, I would make myself very much at home there and make life awkward for him until he agrees.  Why should you be spending money renting elsewhere and have to go back and forth for the horses just because he is dithering, especially when he isn't even living there properly?  Easier said than done I know and you have said how nice it is to have somewhere else to escape to which is jolly important to keep your head above water in all this. 

Alchemilla

Floppy! How the hell are you?
Still in the place beginning with B?

Watty1

Alchemilla said:

I wondered about the Fell pony? 

Fell Pony passed.  He got colic and I decided with the vets help that he was too old to go through surgery as a full recovery was unlikely.  Really sad.  Still miss him.

Watty1

FloppyDisk said:

Ello to old chums!  Watty - could you play sitting ducks as well?  I think it if were me and I wanted to buy the house, I would make myself very much at home there and make life awkward for him until he agrees.  Why should you be spending money renting elsewhere and have to go back and forth for the horses just because he is dithering, especially when he isn't even living there properly?  Easier said than done I know and you have said how nice it is to have somewhere else to escape to which is jolly important to keep your head above water in all this. 

in theory this sounds an idea but the reality is that it is messing with my head.  He speaks to me as though we are friends and get on and i listen to him on the phone to his girlfriend and he sounds so lovely. And then I remember or make myself remember how he treated me during the last year and I end up in despair and confused and wondering if the breakup was all my fault and if somehow I could have prevented this or if I were just different somehow then I would not be here today

And I want to have a life and enjoy friends coming round and no one will go to the cottage under the circumstances,  Plus of course there are dates with the VNM.  Although VNM went to cottage to help look after horses while I was ill it is hardly an ideal set of circumstances.

At the moment I mostly just feel sick. 

Headaches have finally abated enough for me to think it will be ok to drive so I will go back to rental this evening and set about removing the wildlife that moves in whenever I am not there (the joys of living on a farm) and take down Christmas decorations and generally get the place back to being lived in.

Alchemilla

Watty1 said:

Alchemilla said:

I wondered about the Fell pony? 

Fell Pony passed.  He got colic and I decided with the vets help that he was too old to go through surgery as a full recovery was unlikely.  Really sad.  Still miss him.

I am so sorry, Foggy Fell! That is a horrible trauma for you by itself.

NDN has a baby Fell.