This Time I'm Really Going To Do It

themadvix

Sounds like you had a wonderful weekend Watty - good for you.

Hope MH and FP are allowed out again soon

Watty1

After 3 days of box rest I thought there was a slight improvement and allowed both in the restricted part of the field for 5 hours. Now Most Handsome is significantly worse. I've just found his insurance papers to find forelimb lameness is specifically excluded ... so think this might be expensive!


And also in the post was a note from the building insurance to say mortgage going up as SVR changing. Don't really know what to do about the mortgage due to state of flux indoors. If I thought we were staying together and all that it would be an easy decision but ??


Tis not good......but it is all very first world stuff so trying hard to remain positive.

Karmacat

Argh! As you say, it's first world stuff, but we *live* in the first world, so it really does affect us. As does living in a state of flux

Hope you have some time for relaxation ...

apple_muncher

My instant reaction is to go ahead to get a better mortgage rate as you have this awful state of flux, but that does not have an end date. And knowing that you kept your finger on the pulse and made a choice rather than accept the mortgage company changes - and a choice for the better with a lower rate, hopefully - is a good thing. Hope this makes sense! x

themadvix

Oh poor MH! Will more box rest do the trick? Can FP be allowed in restricted part of the field while MH is in his box or is that too far away for MH?

Mortgage is a tricky one, but I think I agree with Apple. Could this be a conversation opener with Mr Watty or do you not think you/he is ready for that yet?

shangaijimmy

I've got no advice for mortgage situation, but i know that whatever you decide will be the right thing for you. Remortgage options will always be there if/when needed.

Humdinger1

Watty

I've read through your entire thread and am bursting with admiration for you. I think it will all end up very differently from how it did for me - but I just wanted to say that 8 years ago, I was in a similar situation. Just when things were going well, my then husband decided that I was raining on his parade and he didn't want to be around any more. We did 18 months of counselling (cost 20k which I funded before he advised me that it was lipstick on a gorilla so I know how this can add up) though agree that your US friend has totally overstepped the mark here. I think you'll sort it out with Mr Watty as bereavement is at play here but there is light at the end of the tunnel even if that doesn't happen. I have since met and married my perfect match and have got seriously into the sensible-use-of-money headspace thanks to him and MSE. Have also changed career and though I may have given my daughter an idiot for a father, have given her the opposite for a stepfather. I was in my mid-40s (not ideal timing but then what is?) when this all started and really thought it was all over and that my daily life would be two-dimensional, largely consisting of soulless routine tempered by hair-bleaching emergencies - but no. What I have done you can do x10 and it's quite obvious from your posts that you're a lovely woman of drive, intelligence and resilience. Hang on in there Watty and believe in yourself - you have so many friends and admirers IRL as well as on this board. Humdinger

Watty1

Humdinger1 wrote: »

Watty

I've read through your entire thread and am bursting with admiration for you. I think it will all end up very differently from how it did for me - but I just wanted to say that 8 years ago, I was in a similar situation. Just when things were going well, my then husband decided that I was raining on his parade and he didn't want to be around any more. We did 18 months of counselling (cost 20k which I funded before he advised me that it was lipstick on a gorilla so I know how this can add up) though agree that your US friend has totally overstepped the mark here. I think you'll sort it out with Mr Watty as bereavement is at play here but there is light at the end of the tunnel even if that doesn't happen. I have since met and married my perfect match and have got seriously into the sensible-use-of-money headspace thanks to him and MSE. Have also changed career and though I may have given my daughter an idiot for a father, have given her the opposite for a stepfather. I was in my mid-40s (not ideal timing but then what is?) when this all started and really thought it was all over and that my daily life would be two-dimensional, largely consisting of soulless routine tempered by hair-bleaching emergencies - but no. What I have done you can do x10 and it's quite obvious from your posts that you're a lovely woman of drive, intelligence and resilience. Hang on in there Watty and believe in yourself - you have so many friends and admirers IRL as well as on this board. Humdinger

What a charming and actually very moving post. Thank you. I'm somewhat touched you have read my diary all the way through ...but bless you for your kind message. I really appreciated it, more than you may realise.

Watty1

Confession time...heaven only knows what state my finances are in. I've not been paying attention at all. I do however forgive my self. And over the next week or so, expect to see a lot of me as I tidy up and shuffle about.
I have decided to fix the mortgage and so that is on the to do list.
I'm tidying up the office so that work has the illusion of being under control and I can enjoy the next week.
Most Handsome saw a very nice and very expensive Spanish lameness expert as my own vet was too dithery. I haven't had the bill yet and dread to think what it will be as this chap usually does seriously good horses not little ponies owned by middle aged ladies! However I now have peace of mind that there isn't too much wrong, and although Most Handsome is lame in 3 legs there are explanations for each leg being lame. He is to have anti-inflammatory drugs and to go back to hacking ...so off on a ride tomorrow morning.
Tidying desk have found a cheque for £136.56 as rent from the power company (they have a box on our land) so I am posting that off as first step to sorting joint account as seriously depleted since Mr Watty now only working part time.
And on the subject of Mr Watty I see he has marked the chart in the office as being away for over a week mid Jan .... ummm.... I have very mixed feelings over this but for now the priority has to be sorting out the finances. Instead of paying off the mortgage I am concentrating on building a safety net fund, running away fund, emergency stash, knotted hanky stash ...call it what you will. I've thought about this a lot. I put a lot of money into this relationship and if we are facing a "worst case" scenario in 2018 I want to know there is a safety net I can fall into if I need to. So the knotted hanky fund will be established.

apple_muncher

Glad you have made a decision on the mortgage. And building up a knotted hanky fund is a good idea.

Maybe you can pay for MH's treatment in rioja...?