Only children ...

flower24

My hubby is one of six and we only speak to 1 of his sisters! So yeah, a big family doesn't guarantee anything either xx

dibuzz

Caroline_a wrote: »

I'm an only child, and had 3 children myself. Holidays as a child were miserable - everyone else had siblings to play with and I was a shy child so found it difficult to mix.

I was under a great deal of unspoken pressure to do well as a child too, and when I didn't always do or achieve what was expected there was an atmosphere of disappointment in the house.

The up side I guess is that I'm very good with my own company (although I have 2 dogs), and now that I live alone I don't get lonely or bored.

Similar story here except I had 4 and I do get lonely.
I used to hate Christmas as I always got board games as presents and was made to write thank you notes saying how much I liked them when I couldn't even play them.
I realise a lot of you with only one child are making sure they mix and spending time with them. I think that's brilliant and only wish my parents had seen things that way.
Dad was always drunk and my mum was only interested in school and church (she was a teacher and organist)
I spent too much time alone and being shy I never made friends. At 50 I have one friend and she has just gone to live in a home. She has alzheimers and doesn't know me any more.

If you do have just one child, please make sure they know how important they are and spend time with them

Desperado99

Goldiegirl wrote: »

There's only been one time in my life when I wished for a sibling.

It was just after my dad died, and my mum had dementia, and needed to go into a home for care.

I suddenly realised there was no one but me who remembered the 'old days', when it was just the three of us at home together. Also, it would have been nice to share my grief with some one who felt the same as me. My husband was a wonderful support, but he didn't feel EXACTLY the same way as me.

Anyway, my parents had brought me up to be strong and to be able to cope with life, so I came through. I dealt with my dads estate, and took control of my mum's affairs. In retrospect, it was far easier being an only to deal with all that, as I took the decisions by myself, without having to refer to anyone else, and as we all know death and money often brings on family conflicts.

This is the only thing that bothers me about DD being an only child. Both my parents were only children and when my grandparents passed (I was in my late teens early twenties) it was noticeable that mum or dad had to shoulder it all themselves. When my mum died I remember being so grateful that I had siblings as we all did what we could (not a lot in my case) with regards to paperwork etc.

But anyway DD is an only child and is (right now) perfectly happy with that. She never wanted siblings and when asked she'll say how much her friends always complain about theirs (LOL). When we go on holiday, she always makes friends without any problems and is very outgoing. She can walk into a room of her peers and quite happily strike up a conversation with anyone (a quality I wish I had).

heartbreak_star

I'm an only child, and was perfectly happy with it for pretty much all of my childhood. I had my books, my computer, and for socialising I had dance, school, and chess club. I'm intelligent, fairly confident on most things, and have never had an issue getting along with people - though as a child most other kids annoyed me a bit.

I do not want to have my own children, and thankfully my mum keeps saying she's too young to be a grandma! (She is nearly 70!!)

HBS x

GoldenShadow

I am one of three (two elder brothers) and my childhood was incredibly lonely. Having siblings didn't help in the least and as an adult I am very happy in my own company and quite treasure it because I learned how to occupy myself at a young age.

Curlywurli

I have two sisters but for various reasons feel like an only child. Actually think it would be easier to be an only child than wishing things were different with my sisters. I have no sibling that I can actually talk to and I see how other families can be and it makes me incredibly sad.

twinmum29

I am an only child, and I had a very happy childhood. I was lucky that I met my best friend when I was 5, and she was always like a sister to me (and still is 28 years later) so I never felt lonely, and I'm very close to my mum and dad too. My husband hardly speaks to his sister at all, not because they have fallen out, just neither seem that bothered to make the effort. We have 6 year old twin boys who are close but still fight like cat and dog so you never know!

Bluemeanie_2

The child I'm currently pregnant with what is more than likely to be the only child of mine. They will have a half brother and sister, but they are 9 and nearly 11 so I suppose for them it will feel like being an only child, as by the time they are old enough, my Stepchildren will be teenagers.
There are obviously advantages and disadvantages of both scenarios, but as others have said having siblings is no guarantee of anything. SIL doesn't speak to me or Hubby (her choice) since our wedding and we don't see our nephews anymore. I intend to invite son/daughters friends on days out etc so they are not alone and have a lot of play dates etc!

CATS

Hi OP,

I have an only child by choice, he is now 14 and a gorgeous, mild tempered, calm, playful, funny and super confident teenager. I think the way he feels and grows up feeling will very much depend on you as a parent. We up to now have spent all our life involved in his life, when he was little we played with him like children, my husband would get down on the floor with him to play horsy, wrestling, board games, I would get dirty with paints, with mud, jump on puddles with him, took him to all his clubs and sat there throughout, never dropped off and came back later. Basically our lives were and are dedicated to him. My house was always open to kids, all our outings we took children with us, even paying for them for all activities and entry fees. As a teenager now, my house is always open for the boys, they come and sleep over, I take them everywhere and pick them up. My relationship with my son is wonderful, he tells me everything and trusts me with everything, same with his dad. When he was little there were a couple of times when he asked for a sibling, I always explained why I didnt want anymore children and he seemed fine. From time to time I used to talk to him about being an only child and how he felt about it, even now I sometimes ask him how he feels. Once he got older a lot of his friends started telling him how lucky he was to be an only child, he would see all the aggro that his friends got from their siblings and has always said he is glad not to have siblings. Despite having lots of friends as he is very popular, he does like his alone time also and has learnt to entertain himself, he doesnt always need company. Apart from that, there is the obvious perks, he has had our full attention, up to now, as he no longer wants to be seen with mum and dad he has always got all the things he wanted as we have no financial restrictions, we pay for private tutors etc. The one thing that I do question is what will happen when we are gone but I hope by then he will be married and with a family of his own I used to feel a little guilty but to be honest I see the teenager I have and I am glad I made the choice I made. You as a parent will be responsible for the person you raise so go with it and I am sure he will be fine