Scuba Shifts North and Debt.

scubaangel

New batteries and a relay station or two.....

They've had the bed delivered this morning so in theory Nana is coming home tomorrow. In the aftermath of the arguement with Mum my stepdad is talking about leaving for the Canaries almost straight away to let my Aunt move in with Mum so they can care for Nana between the two of them - it's an idea which horrifies me, my mum and her sister will probably murder each other left to their own devices. So am currently hoping Mum and SD manage to resolve the arguement. I've said I'm willing to sit with Nana over night most nights - obviously sometimes I'll want to go out in the evenings or have other plans but am more than happy to either sit in Nana's room with my Kindle or the living room with my laptop and the TV if Nana doesn't want/need me with her. Again if I do find a job we'd have to come up with a new plan but while I'm unemployed it's as good a plan as any so Mum can get back to work and my Aunt doesn't lose her social life (she's recently retired and seems to think caring for Nana is going to stop her seeing her friends).

ZTD

scubaangel wrote: »

They've had the bed delivered this morning so in theory Nana is coming home tomorrow. In the aftermath of the arguement with Mum my stepdad is talking about leaving for the Canaries almost straight away

"Time for a sharp exit..."

scubaangel wrote: »

to let my Aunt move in with Mum so they can care for Nana between the two of them - it's an idea which horrifies me, my mum and her sister will probably murder each other left to their own devices.

These would be murdering devices of course... :rotfl:

scubaangel wrote: »

So am currently hoping Mum and SD manage to resolve the arguement. I've said I'm willing to sit with Nana over night most nights - obviously sometimes I'll want to go out in the evenings or have other plans

Yes, make sure you make that plain. Unfortunately in these situations it often tends to be one person who ends up doing the heavy lifting.

scubaangel wrote: »

but am more than happy to either sit in Nana's room with my Kindle or the living room with my laptop and the TV if Nana doesn't want/need me with her. Again if I do find a job we'd have to come up with a new plan but while I'm unemployed it's as good a plan as any so Mum can get back to work and my Aunt doesn't lose her social life (she's recently retired and seems to think caring for Nana is going to stop her seeing her friends).

Does she think she's going to be roped to your Nan or something?

scubaangel

I think if anyone's going to be left with the bulk of the work it'll be Mum, as she's been caring for Nana for the last few years already. I think it's going to be a case of all of us sitting down and working out some kind of a rota for the next couple of weeks just to see if we can all cope, and reevaluate things as Nana needs us too.

My Aunt is very like me, has always been independent and hates being tied in to anything she doesn't want to be doing - she's never had to tae care of anyone else before as she's never married and has no children so suddenly having to face her social life being limited by someone else's needs and balancing that with other people not revolving their time around her is tough for her to get her head around.

ZTD

scubaangel wrote: »

I think if anyone's going to be left with the bulk of the work it'll be Mum, as she's been caring for Nana for the last few years already.

Would these be the past few years where you've been moved away with a job with nutty shifts?

scubaangel wrote: »

I think it's going to be a case of all of us sitting down and working out some kind of a rota for the next couple of weeks just to see if we can all cope, and reevaluate things as Nana needs us too.

That's an excellent way forward.

scubaangel wrote: »

My Aunt is very like me, has always been independent and hates being tied in to anything she doesn't want to be doing - she's never had to tae care of anyone else before as she's never married and has no children so suddenly having to face her social life being limited by someone else's needs and balancing that with other people not revolving their time around her is tough for her to get her head around.

Though if the positions were to be reversed, I'm sure she'd much prefer family to be there for her, rather than to be independently in a nursing home somewhere...

scubaangel

This would be those years, and the ones before when I still lived up here. I've always lived with Dad as he's in the family home, while Mum is nearby with StepDad and Nana. My Aunt lives a few miles away so for the most part Mum and SD have done most of the caring to now.

I'm sure she would, but a lifetime of living to her own timetable is going to be difficult to overcome! God knows I'm finding it hard enough and I've not really had chance to get in to routines since I moved back.

ZTD

scubaangel wrote: »

I'm sure she would, but a lifetime of living to her own timetable is going to be difficult to overcome! God knows I'm finding it hard enough and I've not really had chance to get in to routines since I moved back.

What are you finding the most restrictive?

scubaangel

ZTD wrote: »

What are you finding the most restrictive?

Just getting used to having to drive across town to the hospital at set times when I'm used to nipping next door to see Mum/Nana. Once she's home it'll be easier in that sense again but I like to do what I want when I want. But I guess I can look at it as a job while I have no paid work which will be easier to get used to.

ZTD

scubaangel wrote: »

Just getting used to having to drive across town to the hospital at set times when I'm used to nipping next door to see Mum/Nana. Once she's home it'll be easier in that sense again but I like to do what I want when I want. But I guess I can look at it as a job while I have no paid work which will be easier to get used to.

Well I must admit, your job seemed to be very full of restrictions like "you need to be there at 5am on the 3rd Saturday after a full moon", so I was thinking that this would seem a bit freer after that sort of palava.

Once she's home, at least you'll be avoiding the hospital for a while.

scubaangel

Not quite that complicated but not far off Z! And as bad as it sounds after being unemployed for nearly 4 months now the ability to explain part of that time as caring for a sick relative is better than simple inability to find a job later on.

True, hopefully we can get all the details sorted out tomorrow so we can all start getting back in to normal routines.

ZTD

scubaangel wrote: »

Not quite that complicated but not far off Z! And as bad as it sounds after being unemployed for nearly 4 months now the ability to explain part of that time as caring for a sick relative is better than simple inability to find a job later on.

Yes, this is very true - a little while ago we were looking at employing an agency worker who had an 8 month gap in his work. His wife had died and he'd been looking after his daughter was the rather simple (but very sad) explanation.

scubaangel wrote: »

True, hopefully we can get all the details sorted out tomorrow so we can all start getting back in to normal routines.

Well, the new normal. Hopefully a more convenient normal.