Colposcopy - I'm scared. (Not looking for med advice)

ilovelondontown

I'm prefacing this with a tmi warning for the general subject matter, although there isn't anything descriptive in my thread, I just need to get out what's going on in my head since there is nobody around to talk to right now. I also appreciate that it's always best to follow up with professional medical advice and I'm not asking for that here, more so just some emotional support....


I've just got back from a colposcopy following an abnormal smear.

I've been having abnormal smears on and off for 5 years and I had a LEEP in 2008 followed by almost 6 monthly smears thereafter until now. Some came back abnormal and I have had follow ups with a colposcopy biopsy and I've always been referred back to the doctor for smears as recommended.

Well I went off today after my latest 6 month smear came back "borderline changes" being so used to being in "the system" I thought nothing of it and went alone.

When I got into the appointment the doctor started talking at me like it was my first time and I mentioned that I'd been to this hospital before and I had even had the LEEP before at a previous hospital before I moved, but he didn't have any record of my previous visits. After a bit of searching it turns out following my last biopsy in February 2012 I was suppose to come for a follow up at the hospital but I didn't ever receive that letter, I'd been going for repeat smears at the local surgery - to which the July last year and January this year came back clear.

However as they are telling me all this while I'm already in the stirrups, I start to feel a bit unnerved and emotional and faint.

The colposcopy goes ahead and the biopsy taken. After the procedure, the doctor says he thinks it's CIN1 and will get the results back in a couple of weeks and sends me on my way.

I've just got home having managed to somehow avoid crying on the train and fainting out of fear and I feel a bit scared and angry at the same time. The rational side of me is saying that if they were concerned by something they'd seen they wouldn't have let me go and the irrational side of me is just in a blind panic thinking they've probably missed the cancer and now it's had ages to develop and I'm going to die.

I can't get hold of my husband and everyone else is at work, and I just feel awful. I want more reassurance but that won't come for at least 2 weeks. I tried to console myself by calling the local surgery where I've had my last few smears and the receptionist confirmed that they both stated I didn't need to take any further action at the time, but as I say I just feel completely freaked out and I don't know what to do to make it better.

Sorry for the blubbering on, I'm trying to type this out through a rather tearstained laptop.

Thanks if you got this far

ILLT

anakat

No advice, just want to send you a ((hug))

partialycloudy

I have CIN1 and a Cone Biospy in 2010.
Dont panic!! its fine.
I have to have 6 monthly smears with the colposcoy department, not my doctors, everything is done via the hospital.
Granted all my results have come back as OK since my cone biopsy in 2010, but i do not think you should be overlly concerned as CIN1 is not cancer.

Big hugs x

time2deal

I think if there was a follow up to the biopsies from Feb 2012 then it would have come up on the subsequent smears.

"After a bit of searching it turns out following my last biopsy in February 2012 I was suppose to come for a follow up at the hospital but I didn't ever receive that letter, I'd been going for repeat smears at the local surgery - to which the July last year and January this year came back clear."

Having had cervical cancer, the main follow up is still just smears, with the odd colposcopy thrown in for fun (!). So I would expect any issue would have appeared in the smears. It may just have been they had an incomplete result from the biopsies.

Obviously this is only my own experience, and not much can help with the worrying. If you are getting clean smears, I don't believe there could be a major tumor growing behind the scenes so to speak. I had a hysteroscopy done too - which is a biopsy up inside the womb, but I think if there were abnormal cells in there, then they would be visible in the smears.

But - I am not a doctor! Just a fellow victim in the system.

Hugs

beckysbobbles1

I'm sorry I have nothing useful to say but just hope your ok.

I'm going for my first Colposcopy on Monday and I'm so frightened.

I'm on 27 and I had boarderline changes. I'm now having to go alone as my boyfriend finished with me.

time2deal

Becky, check the other thread for some further information on the process. It really isn't that bad itself, but there is a lot of fear to get through.

I don't let my OH come into the colposcopy room, as I don't like him seeing me in that strange position, and you won't get results on the day. When you go back for results it may be an idea to bring someone with you just to hold your hand. That is the more stressful day in my opinion.

justmel

I too think that if anything had changed the smear tests would have picked it up but they came back clear so please try not to panic.

I had a CIN3 a few years ago,i had it treated (with a spinal block because I was so anxious I couldn't stay still in the clinic) and after that I had one colposcopy 6 months later and it has been smears since then,the doctor told me that smears are good enough to indicate any change and then they would act on it by calling me in for another colposcopy.

I know your mind must be racing with all kinds of thoughts but please remember that the smears you had were designed to detect changes and they were clear,keep that in your mind,they were clear.

You have now had the biopsy and that will satisfy them that your cervix is healthy and without stepping over the boundaries of medical advice a CIN1 is only a very early and very slight change,it is nowhere near to cancer,my doctor told me that my CIN3 was not even cancer but they remove all abnormalities because they just cannot predict which ones will develop into cancer at some point in the future and which wont so they treat them all to be safe.

I had to wait for the biopsy result too,was told 3-4 weeks I think but the receptionist was lovely,she knew I was terrified and told me to call her after 2 weeks,she gave me my results over the phone and it was all clear so maybe you could call them a bit sooner in case they have your results earlier than expected.

And Beckysbobbles please don't be afraid,a colposcopy does not hurt or anything and any treatment is likely to be no more than a little uncomfortable,if you feel you can't cope with treatment in the clinic ask about other options like sedation,spinal,general etc but most women do cope just fine,i am just an extremely anxious person in general so I opted for the spinal,they removed the cells in about 10 minutes flat,it was very fast!

Molly41

I had CIN 3 and also had treatment. Then I had 4 kids so please try not to worry x

ninadam

just want to send you big hugs!
it never gets any easier does it no matter how many times you go.

My first smear 3years ago (age25) ended up with me having stage 1a1 cervical cancer but i was lucky enough that it was treated with 2 LLETZ treatments (I presume thats same/similar to LEEP??) as even stage 1a1 cancer doesnt 100% mean that you need chemo/hysterectomy etc its not ideal but even thats quite early. (i know all cases are different, just going off my own experience). i remember this crappy waiting around for results that you are going through now and its the worst part!

I go for smears every 6months now and thankfully everyone has come back clear...... it must be so crap to have them keep coming back abnormal.

Both my best friends have had problems too, all within a few months of each other (One had CIN3 and the other CIN1)....3years down the line and we are only just starting to have conversations that dont involve cervix chat!! :D

I hope everything comes back ok for you and hope you will keep us updated on how you get on. Try not to worry yourself too much, although i know its easier said than done.

BIG HUGS
N xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

19lottie82

Try not to worry Bec and OP.

It's more of a prevention that a cure, and is more common than you realise. I've had it done and quite a few of my friends too.

The colposcopy its self was nowhere near as bad as I imagined. In fact tbh I found it no worse than a smear. There were no real after effects either, I had taken the afternoon off work but could have gone straight back if I'd wanted to.

Sensibility

Medical professionals see patients day in day out - this can make them forget at times that patients do sometimes need more reassurance than what they're actually given. I do feel for you and hope that everything turns out ok.
At your next appointment try and take someone with you if you can. Just talking through makes such a difference.
Good luck xx