Interfaith marriages-do they work?

lostinrates

sterl1ng wrote: »

Culture and religion are not the same thing. Race and religion are also separate.

Again....the race separation depends on the religion and the cultural and religion separation also depends on the religion and place of upbringing. I certainly feel culturally impacted by the Church of England despite not being part of it....I don't mind fwiw.

lostinrates

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

Someone I was married to. I have plenty of friends and family members who do not share my faith.

Because my faith underpins every aspect of my life, it would be well-nigh impossible to have a meaningful marital relationship with someone who had a different worldview and outlook. We would not be pulling in the same direction. As I said further up the thread, what if they wanted to keep a kosher home and I thought that method of slaughter was barbaric? you both go vegetarian! What if I wanted to celebrate Easter and they did not believe that Jesus died on the cross and rose again and it was against their religion to do this? then you celebrate Easter and they shut up and celebrate you celebrating Easter, like wise you partake in their celebration of their fesitvals. Where would the common ground be? love. Acceptance that love can accept difference if values are the same dispite belief. There would be constant conflict which would not make for a good marriage.
there need not be constant conflict....
I agree if one or both partners are not too bothered about practising their religion then it could work, but if both are devout, then no.

Thoughts in body of text.

[Deleted User]

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

.... what if they wanted to keep a kosher home and I thought that method of slaughter was barbaric? What if I wanted to celebrate Easter and they did not believe that Jesus died on the cross and rose again and it was against their religion to do this? Where would the common ground be? There would be constant conflict which would not make for a good marriage.

I agree if one or both partners are not too bothered about practising their religion then it could work, but if both are devout, then no.

My bold - again we cannot pre-empt or pre-judge what will, would or should happen!

My husband is not a Christian but a Hindu, and he does not impose any of his beliefs on me, and I do keep Easter quite seriously and solemnly. He participates in Christmas & other Christian festivals (I adore Christian Christmas festival) - as I do in his religion's (as in they are fun parties to share).

The only concession I have had to make is not eating or cooking beef in our home when he is around, not a huge thing really as I'm not bothered about a weekly steak or roast beef!

It is down to the individuals involved and making pre-decisions and pre-judgments is simply a bit bigoted in my view, and could be against what God has in store for us! At least one of our close Nepalese friends has become a Christian after becoming engaged to a European lady he met here & they are getting married soon.

I do agree that two very devout/orthodox people from different faiths or denominations are unlikely to have a harmonious marriage though.

seven-day-weekend

....What if I wanted to celebrate Easter and they did not believe that Jesus died on the cross and rose again and it was against their religion to do this? then you celebrate Easter and they shut up and celebrate you celebrating Easter, like wise you partake in their celebration of their fesitvals. .....

Then both of us would be worshipping what we considered to be false Gods. It would not work.

lostinrates

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

....What if I wanted to celebrate Easter and they did not believe that Jesus died on the cross and rose again and it was against their religion to do this? then you celebrate Easter and they shut up and celebrate you celebrating Easter, like wise you partake in their celebration of their fesitvals. .....

Then both of us would be worshipping what we considered to be false Gods. It would not work.

No, its not, its celebration something your partner believes in, celebrating your partners joy and belief, not your own or their god (i think flase god is antagonistic language in such a discussion though i accept its origin) and is importance to your partner and by extension to you emotionally, not religiously, Worship is for your own festivals.

Its only as difficult as one wants it to be. I'm not suggesting for a second one should have to marry someone of another faith or no faith, but I am saying it IS possible, as people have given experience of here, if you find solutions not barriers. It does work for some people

Brighton_belle

I do get why you (and others) don't get it Lost in Rates, but having spent years as a member of such Christian (mainstream)churches that seven day weekend belongs to (chose to walk away after trauma) I do understand where she is coming from.
That level of Christian faith is different: life issues would be prayed about with a partner, how they deal with family, money, life goals: the practice of marriage for them is to pray together and walk with their god together, with Jesus central to that.

I know quite a few such marriages, including in my own family and it is inconceivable to me that those marriage would work nearly as well if one half of them did not share their exact faith and means of expressing it, and I say that as a (happy) humanist.

seven-day-weekend

Absolutely Brighton Belle. Thanks for saying it better than I have. If I could not discuss things with my husband in the light of our shared faith, and with that faith empowering our decisions, then my life would be diminished and I would not chose that way within a marriage.

We were both atheists when we met and for the first ten years of our marriage. I became a Christian four years before he did and although I loved him and would have stayed with him even if he had never become a Christian, it was very difficult for me and there was a large chunk of my life that I could never share with him. Glad to say he found God all on his own!

lostinrates

Brighton_belle wrote: »

I do get why you (and others) don't get it Lost in Rates, but having spent years as a member of such Christian (mainstream)churches that seven day weekend belongs to (chose to walk away after trauma) I do understand where she is coming from.
That level of Christian faith is different: life issues would be prayed about with a partner, how they deal with family, money, life goals: the practice of marriage for them is to pray together and walk with their god together, with Jesus central to that.

I know quite a few such marriages, including in my own family and it is inconceivable to me that those marriage would work nearly as well if one half of them did not share their exact faith and means of expressing it, and I say that as a (happy) humanist.

Shrug, well, that's not the only faith...I guess. Other interfaith a might well work! I'm not certain what denomination they are, (nor do I expect them to say).

Brighton_belle

It's not so much a single 'denomination' but the version of Christianity that believes that you are only truly a Christian if you have a personal relationship with Jesus, as in the born again movement, and you will find them within C of E, Baptists, Methodists, evangelicals and (what was originally known as ) the house church movement. And many other denominations.

I am quite sure your example of Christian/Hindu mix works wonderfully, the way you describe it, but for born again Christians it really is more difficult for such a personal relationship as marriage is.

seven-day-weekend

lostinrates wrote: »

Shrug, well, that's not the only faith...I guess. Other interfaith a might well work! I'm not certain what denomination they are, (nor do I expect them to say).

We belong to an independent Church, in the type of church called by others New Churches, (formerly House Church) and are under the umbrella of an organisation called Global Legacy, along with many other independent churches. But the level of faith referred to is not dependent upon denomination, Tory Quine is (I think) a different denomination to me and yet feels the same on this issue.


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/British_New_Church_Movement

http://www.igloballegacy.org/bssm/communities/uk

And this is our church

http://lifespringministries.co.uk/home

Hope this helps