Best man's wife...

FBaby

should ask the best man's wife direct but instead of asking where she would like to sit, word it like this: 'We're trying to do the seating plan and the venue have said we can only have ten on the top table. If we sit you with [your friends] would that be ok?'

I'm sure she will agree and personally would have been happy with that (after all, it was their wedding) rather than the groomzilla act I had to put up with!

This is exactly what I would suggest we should do but I think OH think that just asking, and therefore confirming that we are having doubts about her being there would be offensive itself. Her and BM came over to ask questions about the day, and one of them was who we was going to be on the top table (which I thought was incredibly rude!). We responded that we were still looking into it.

It would be neater if Mum could have a male guest to sit with (uncle maybe?) and then bridesmaid and partner dropped (so they can sit together elsewhere).

Pfff not one uncle, partner, boyfriend, escort available

Yesterday I have looked at seating possibility and that helped quite a bit. If she seats with the table with friends, it makes the perfect number for the tables (tables of 6 and 1 of eight), so that's a good argument. I have however looked at other possibility, with her at top table, or with neither her or sister partner there. There are another couple he could seat with if it came to it, so at least some options to discuss with OH tomorrow or next week (hardly seen him this week do to commitments on both sides).

Thank you all very much for all your suggestions and views which will guide me in my conversation with OH.

kellyt86

I only had parents and my sister on top table.

Had separate table where bridesmaids and best man and wife sat.

This table was the first table closest to the top table.

Haven't read the whole post but do what works for you OP, it's YOUR day and true friends will understand the difficulty of such decisions if you explain it.

lb364

FBaby wrote: »

Her and BM came over to ask questions about the day, and one of them was who we was going to be on the top table (which I thought was incredibly rude!)

Pfff not one uncle, partner, boyfriend, escort available

That does seem rude but I did ask the same via OH just because I wanted to be prepared in advance, it was a bit nerve wracking because I didn't know anyone else well. However, I didn't find out until the day which wasn't nice. Like I said, I understood and didn't mind but just wanted to know.

:rotfl: well you do have to get the mums a gift!!

Hope you get it all sorted

Mojisola

FBaby wrote: »

Pfff not one uncle, partner, boyfriend, escort available

lb364 wrote: »

:rotfl: well you do have to get the mums a gift!!

I can picture it - and thanks to our two Mums - here's a bouquet for the bride's mother and an escort for the evening for the groom's mother. :rotfl:

FBaby

lb364 wrote: »

That does seem rude but I did ask the same via OH just because I wanted to be prepared in advance, it was a bit nerve wracking because I didn't know anyone else well. However, I didn't find out until the day which wasn't nice. Like I said, I understood and didn't mind but just wanted to know.

:rotfl: well you do have to get the mums a gift!!

Hope you get it all sorted

I can totally understand how you felt since you didn't know anyone else. I would expect my sister to be asking on behalf of her OH (unless she is assuming there is no way he wouldn't be seated without her!). She hasn't. However, in my case, BM's wife closest friends will be there too, not just some people she knows or occasionally interact with, but people she regularly goes out with, invites to her house etc..., so it is clearly not about worrying she might feel lonely.

Ha ha, loved the comment about the gift!

FBaby

Well the matter is resolved. OH and I sat down together last night and agreed that she would seat on the other table. I worked a proposed table seating, and starting from there rather than the top table, it made total sense that she should be on one of the tables as it made the numbers even. OH started to say that he coud suggest to his best man whether to seat at the main table or with her, but then when seeing the seating arrangement agreed that we should go with her at the table with all the people she knows well and that would be that. We made some other changes and were now perfectly happy...until one couple emailed to say they would only come to the evening reception grrrrr!!!

One sure thing I will never ever be a wedding organiser, what a horrible job that must be!!!

BugglyB

When it comes to the actual day, the meal is only a couple of hours long. Do try not to worry about it.

happyatlast2013

I won't have an issue with this! The best man is my future brother in law and my maid of honor is my future sister in law!

FBaby

I can't believe it! Just had an email from my mum, sister's boyfriend won't be coming! He has an important exam on the day before (not in this country) and therefore won't be able to travel. I do believe it is true, although my mum has hinted that sister was a bit relieved as she felt this was not the occasion to make their relationship official! Oh and went out with best man and wife last week-end and had a great time together.

Ha ha, so after all this dilemma, risking a disagreement with my lovely OH, having agreed the tables, the matter resolved, we could have avoided it all Still, all this is nothing to what some people go through sorting out their wedding!

Mojisola

Good news! It will probably make the day much easier for everyone concerned.