Ruined before it has even began!

Wickedkitten

Caroline_a wrote: »

Re-read the OP. This sticks out like a sore thumb to me - your partner is as much to blame as his mother. Surely he should have just said 'ok' if she had said she wasn't coming... if the party was that important to him?

Six of one....

ooh yes, that's the bit that I picked up on too, they are as bad as each other really. The MIL is ready to fling her toys out of her pram and miss the party because the 4 year old isn't invited when she knows it is adults only, and on the flipside we have the partner who knows that the OP that has already spent a lot of money on this for him flinging his toys out of the pram and wanting to cancel things because the mother isn't coming.

If anything, I would be more !!!!ed off at the partner than I would the MIL

CATS

OP why have you banned children from the party? surely a party is a time to have all the family and friends together, on both my wedding and my 30th we had children over and I dont particularly like kids but it was great, everyone was able to attend and enjoy themselves. I have one son and it's alway weird when people say no children allowed, as long as they behave, and you are having it at your place so why not kids? surely your partners celebration is more important, you could have just called everyone else and said we have changed our minds you can bring the kids. Also with me having an only child, I can see how no woman will ever be good enough as he is her only child maybe she is just trying to help in that weird motherly, overprotective kind of way.

rozmister

CATS wrote: »

OP why have you banned children from the party? surely a party is a time to have all the family and friends together, on both my wedding and my 30th we had children over and I dont particularly like kids but it was great, everyone was able to attend and enjoy themselves. I have one son and it's alway weird when people say no children allowed, as long as they behave, and you are having it at your place so why not kids? surely your partners celebration is more important, you could have just called everyone else and said we have changed our minds you can bring the kids. Also with me having an only child, I can see how no woman will ever be good enough as he is her only child maybe she is just trying to help in that weird motherly, overprotective kind of way.

Some people don't enjoy the company of children in that kind of setting. My uncle's girlfriend (who won't let me call her my aunty despite them being together my whole life) is not a children person and while she's always been perfectly nice to me and my niece it's clear that she would not CHOOSE to have us there all the time especially not for what she would view as 'grown up' time. I'd imagine if they had parties they too would have no children.

The other thing is that while your children may be well behaved there are some people who believe their children are well behaved when they aren't and the OP may not want to spend the evening with one eye on other people's children trying to make sure that they are not destroying things or putting themselves or others at risk. My pet hate is wild children and if I had people in my family that would bring children like that and wouldn't discipline them or let me tell them off I'd have a kids free party. I'm lucky that the kids in my family aren't like that and it's also perfectly acceptable to tell off someone else's kid if they are being a terror!!

Hezzawithkids

sassyblue wrote: »

And all this because of 'if' the cousin couldn't get a babysitter! The mind boggles, l would have the party exactly how you planned.

Sounds like she's making assumptions about other people's actions/reactions to events that haven't even happened yet. My Mum used to do this, took me years to train her out of it Just tell her that she can't speak for other people and make their decisions for them. If they want to come to the party badly enough they will come. If they can't or won't come without the kid then that's their lookout. You can't do their thinking for them.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

He's going to be 30, not 9.



Why the big fuss?

FatVonD

Childfree wrote: »

"I won't feel like having a party if you two don't come, so I won't have one." Partner said.

IMO this is where your problem lies, your partner needs to grow a spine.

lostinrates

Its funny the different things we all pick up on. Mine was this.

Childfree wrote: »

When she does call, we have to turn down the telly or put it on pause. .

It seems an issue for op, but to me it seems...normal, in fact, I'd just expect to turn a tv off if anyone came to the house. I really don't feel its only the mil who is perhaps a little in the wrong in her behaviour. Perhaps everyone could do with some time out and a redrawing of boundaries and expectations?

catkins

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

He's going to be 30, not 9.

Why the big fuss?

What's wrong with celebrating a 30th birthday or a 40th or 50th? Lots of people, me and OH included, like to celebrate every birthday but the big ones (30, 40, 50 etc) even more so.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

catkins wrote: »

What's wrong with celebrating a 30th birthday or a 40th or 50th? Lots of people, me and OH included, like to celebrate every birthday but the big ones (30, 40, 50 etc) even more so.

Nothing wrong with being happy on a birthday and having a celebration of some kind, but when it gets to the point of stamping little feet and flouncing off with a 'well, I won't have a party then, see what you've made me do and IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT', and it's not a child but an allegedly fully grown man spitting his dummy out because mummy and daddy won't come if they can't choose who gets an invite - that's the fuss I'm referring to.


I'm not convinced the OP's user name of 'Childfree' is particularly appropriate with a partner who needs to be treated like A Very Special Little Boy.

catkins

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

Nothing wrong with being happy on a birthday and having a celebration of some kind, but when it gets to the point of stamping little feet and flouncing off with a 'well, I won't have a party then, see what you've made me do and IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT', and it's not a child but an allegedly fully grown man spitting his dummy out because mummy and daddy won't come if they can't choose who gets an invite - that's the fuss I'm referring to.

I'm not convinced the OP's user name of 'Childfree' is particularly appropriate with a partner who needs to be treated like A Very Special Little Boy.

I misunderstood your post. I thought you were asking why there was going to be a party.

I agree totally about him sounding like a spoilt brat