Ruined before it has even began!

System

She sounds like a very neurotic and controlling woman. It must be hard for your OH, too, as it is his mum after all, and he's an only child. But he needs to find a way of standing up to her and setting boundaries, or she will just continue.

belfastgirl23

If MIL and DIL aren't coming to the (surprise) party maybe they could look after the kids? Two problems solved

marisco_2

Childfree wrote: »

It is like she wants to be the main woman in the family. Partner believes it is because of her Northern roots??!!

I have known plenty of Northerners who have no need or desire to interfere or involve themselves so much in their grown children's lives. It is concerning that your partner who is approaching 30 cannot see this situation for what it is. Even more so considering how awfully his mother chooses to treat him when a situation doesn't go exactly her way. She is manipulative and vindictive and yet he seems totally unable to recognise this.

I think it is a shame that a relationship you feel is otherwise perfect is being ruined by this woman, and by your partners inability and/or reluctance to stand up to her. Before you consider throwing in the towel with him, talk to him and tell him exactly how you are feeling. His response to this will tell you where you stand with him. I hope he will start seeing things for what they are, though for a man who has been so indoctrinated into accepting this state of affairs as normality, that could be difficult. If he can't do this then it is very unlikely this situation will ever change if you stay with him.

geekgirl

A bit of support for MIL's. So glad my MIL is lovely. Me and her son have been together for 28 years and she is a sweetheart.
My mum (a northerner) is also fantastic with my partner so we have been lucky all round.

I have a DIL and a SIL now and I have made sure I stay out of their business. If they ask for my opinion I will give it. Otherwise I leave how they run their lives up to them.

It is fantastic having a growing family and I love our relationship being so friendly and on a good footing, I wouldn't do anything to harm that.

Unless your partner shows his mother where she stands in your relationship she will always barge in.

Childfree

My partner is fed up of it and rolls his eyes when the phone rings, because all she will do is talk and he cannot get a word in edgeways.

Childfree

She just called and he flicked the phone to 'busy'

marisco_2

In all seriousness what would happen if he just didn't answer the phone?

Childfree

Nothing, or she will keep ringing him or she will ring me. My phone is on silent so I will just ignore it!

Childfree

He will panic that because she is in ill health (??) that it will be the bad news call. She only has high blood pressure.. plus she chain smokes!

sharnad

Take party mo eh book s couple of days away and make sure it's of he and your partners birthday