My Wife is a Snob

heartbreak_star

I've never understood feeling attached to the place you were born in...the only reason I visit my "hometown" is that my mum lives there.

Home is where you make it. You can't cling on to the past.

OP, did your wife have any input into the deposit? You say you saved for ten years.

Also, was she bothered about living in the city before you moved, or has she now just decided she doesn't like it? If she didn't complain at the time and has had no input into the finances, she doesn't really have a leg to stand on.

I suppose I might feel differently if I had an attachment to the place I spent my childhood in

HBS x

Tropez

heartbreak_star wrote: »

I've never understood feeling attached to the place you were born in...the only reason I visit my "hometown" is that my mum lives there.

It's an extension of people feeling some sort of attachment to the country they were born in.

I live where I live because circumstances currently demand it. If and when they change I'll be quite happy to move somewhere else because I don't really like this area that much. I don't think it is snobby to dislike where one lives if you're living there because of circumstances and not choice.

[Deleted User]

Why on earth did you buy a house where your wife didn't like?

Rule 1. of Husbanding - Listen to your wife

poet123

Not snobbery at all to want a house in a better location. Save up, and try to buy the worst house (that you can improve) in the better location.

marisco_2

Surely over something as big as a house purchase, your wife had equal input over the house you bought and where it was located. If she had such an issue with living in your home town, she should have raised this with you before you went ahead and signed on the dotted line for it. I don't blame you for being a bit miffed at how she referred to your home. I wouldn't be impressed if a partner showed such discontent about where we were living to another person I hardly knew.

She should bare in mind that if you live in a very upmarket place it is a green light for tradesmen from gardeners to decorators, plumbers, electricians etc. to rack their fees up. If you only live 10 miles away then she can still go there and use all the facilities, whilst quite possibly enjoying living in a larger property than you could afford if you lived in her preferred location. She needs to think a little smarter in my opinion.

andygb

heartbreak_star wrote: »

I've never understood feeling attached to the place you were born in...the only reason I visit my "hometown" is that my mum lives there.

Home is where you make it. You can't cling on to the past.

OP, did your wife have any input into the deposit? You say you saved for ten years.

Also, was she bothered about living in the city before you moved, or has she now just decided she doesn't like it? If she didn't complain at the time and has had no input into the finances, she doesn't really have a leg to stand on.

I suppose I might feel differently if I had an attachment to the place I spent my childhood in

HBS x

I totally agree with this.
My OH and myself are happy where we live, because that is what we have chosen.
I can well understand one person looking down on a place, simply because it fails to meet some of the criteria which is important for showing off, because we have seen this with relations (who place image above everything). They refuse to say which town they live in when speaking to strangers, preferring to give the name of an area - which is over a mile from them;) - how pathetic.

Prothet_of_Doom

On leaving my 'Hometown' to go to university, I declared that I would never EVER live there ever.
I married someone, I went to school with, and she declared that we would never ever live there.
And so we lived happily ever after in a city some 120 miles away......
until we had children.
And guess what, my wife was desperate to live near family, and so we were forced to downsize, change jobs, to move to an area I don't particularly like, which to me is full of overpriced houses and lots of Credit Card Snobs (All fur coat and no knickers - ie lots of people with falsh houses and cars, but who knows the level of debt?)
If I was the OP I'd point out everytime that eyes are rolled, that neither of you are successfull enough to be able to afford what you want, but if she really loves you, that shouldn't be a problem, as long as you are together.

(occasionaly I remind my wife, I only live where we live because I love her, and if she ever wants to move, she only has to say the word)

heartbreak_star

poet123 wrote: »

Not snobbery at all to want a house in a better location. Save up, and try to buy the worst house (that you can improve) in the better location.

Depends on whether you're willing to pay for the better location, or you expect your partner to.

HBS x

poet123

heartbreak_star wrote: »

Depends on whether you're willing to pay for the better location, or you expect your partner to.

HBS x

Strange, I always thought marriage was about joint income not "yours" and "mine".

heartbreak_star

I can't ever imagine pooling finances with my OH. It wouldn't be fair - he earns more than me. Once the bills are paid, my money is my own and same for him. It would remain the same if we married, I would see no reason for it to change.

Different situations for different people though

HBS x