Wedding invite

FBaby

Is it an invite for the whole wedding, including reception or just the evening? They might have just been confused when writing the name on envelops, expecting no children at the actual reception and main meal, but ok to have children for the afternoon or evening do.

We also had to make the choice of not inviting children because they would outnumber the adults and it would mean having to select friends we couldn't invite for the benefit of children who my partner doesn't know for most of them. Both invites (for the whole day or for the evening reception) don't provide names inside, so it is just on the envelop. No one has assumed that their kids were invited too, but then there is no mention of children's party.

It is very confusing and that's their own doing, so on this basis, I think it is totally acceptable to ask for clarification.

daisiegg

I think it means just you, not children. I can't see why they wouldn't have put 'Mr and Mrs X and family' if they meant children too. More than likely the same generic inserts went into everyone's invitation and some people (family, close friends) had their children named on the invitation.

But really, as everyone has said, the only way to find out is to ask!

Treevo

We'll be naming everyone invited on the invitations - in some cases that will include children, in others it won't. As you're not family or close friends - it seems to me that you're children are not invited. But really the only way of finding out is to ask - I'm not sure why you don't want to do this because there's no other way of finding it out.

pimento

maman wrote: »

Is it just me or is it unusual that there are no names inside the invitation? All the ones I get are generally printed and then with a line for the couple to write the name of the guests.

Our invites had no space for names. It just said 'you are invited' and I put the names on the envelope above the address.

I would say it was just the couple. The bride may not realise you have three children. She runs the risk of having thousands of kids if everyone invited can just show up with their children.

I would definitely ask the groom. Better he caves and says 'bring them' than you get there to a room full of icy glares.

duchy

Or better still he politely tells his boss....Sorry I didn't realise you had kids the invite was for you and you missus only. Why would he "cave" ? You are implying the OP should put pressure on the B&G. Either they accept the invitation as intended or don't (once it is clarified)...Caving implies the OP is planning on putting pressure on her hosts to invite the kids.....and I certainly don't take that from her OP.

Nicki

pimento wrote: »

Better he caves and says 'bring them' than you get there to a room full of icy glares.

That's exactly the position we don't want to put them in though! I'd rather just decline gracefully than put them on the spot and make them feel they have to invite the kids. The reason for starting the thread was to see whether it was obvious to everyone else what the actual situation was and if we were just being dim.

What the insert says is:

Children and babies are welcome at the wedding. There will be a babysitter if any of your children want a break from the party.

and on the RSVP bit it says: Please RSVP by ... letting us know dietary requirements and if you are bringing any children.

I am not at all insensitive to the fact that lots of children attending increases the costs of the day, which is why I am trying my best to work out what is expected in advance. There is no way I will turn up with them uninvited or demand that they be invited. However as we do not have anyone who would be able to look after them overnight for us (one is disabled which means that sleepovers with friends would not be a solution) if they aren't to come with us then we can't go is all. As the wedding is in Cornwall and we are not, there is no way of getting there and back in a single day.

duchy

Ah thanks for the wording ... In that case I would take it they ARE welcome but to be doubly sure I'd say to the groom "Just checking before we accept that it's OK to bring the kids" or better yet if other members of staff are invited see if one of them has asked "the question".

wiogs

Ask.

It is the only way to find out.

It is clear that opinion is divided.

neverdespairgirl

Nicki wrote: »

and on the RSVP bit it says: Please RSVP by ... letting us know dietary requirements and if you are bringing any children.

That "if you are...." suggests to me that anyone invited can turn up with infants, provided they are notified in advance.

I'd still check, though.

GoldenShadow

I would imagine that not everyone knows who has children and doesn't, similarly 'family' doesn't just stop at children technically, does it?

Worth clarifying, but I would assume they would be invited (unless you have 12 kids or something which they may be unaware of and thus unprepared to cater for quite so many!).