Real-life MMD: If I'm paying rent, why should I tidy my room?

KxMx

Gosh, so much generalising on this thread casting OP as the ungrateful brat and his father as the saint.
I guess some people can't handle the fact that it may be the parent in the wrong! Because obviously all you parents are perfect!
:cool:

mottyt

The only way to clarify this is to put a picture up of your room in the state you described!

Tiddles12

Talent wrote: »

Not worth a comment.

Yet, still, you have commented.

annettej67

Grow up, please.

onesixfive

I'm 24 and just moved back into my parents 4-bed house.
This suggests you have lived alone previously, and your parents have got used to not having you around full-time. Maybe you are invading their space

I work full time and pay my parents rent, something I suggested and an amount which we all agreed on.
Are you this disorganised & untidy at work ? If so what do your superiors say? If not, what's the difference ?

I think my room's an organised mess, but my Dad thinks it's a tip, and wants it to meet his standards of cleanliness.
Being neat and tidy means that you can think more clearly

Around the rest of the house I abide by my parent's rules, but this is my room and as I'm paying rent I think my dad is being unreasonable.
No, its THEIR room, which they are letting you rent, and also giving you free use of the rest of their home - you wouldn't get that when renting a small room in most multi-share.

I could rent a small room privately for a little more per week.
You may also be expected to share the communal cleaning & tidying of any communal areas never mind your own space.

Start here - make an effort - grow up - learn to be tidy now. There will come a time in the future, if you drop something, or leave it untidy, then there will be nobody behind you to pick it up, tidy it, or tell you to do something.

liz545

If/when you move into private rented accommodation, it's entirely likely that your rental contract will include words to the effect of "the tenant will maintain the property in a good state of repair and cleanliness." In pretty much every house I've ever rented, the landlord has conducted an inspection at least once a year, and yes, they can tell you to clean up if they don't think it's good enough. You may not like it, but if you want to keep a roof over your head, you just have to accept it.

LesD

Does anyone really believe these are "...real-life Money Moral Dilemmas..."?

pippinpuss

It may be your room but its house. Grow up & tidy your room

freeasabird

I have been the adult who returned to the family home and it is difficult. You're parents will always treat you differently from a lodger and you will, to some extent, be expected to 'get with the programme.'

If they have certain standards about how they want their home to look; then I'm afraid you will have to take that into consideration.

However, threats to throw out or move your property don't show the respect that that parents owe you as an adult.

They may also find it difficult to accept that you are an adult and making rules about keeping your room tidy is about trying to keep you in the 'teenager' position.

You wouldn't throw out their property if you felt that their rooms were untidy.

If you don't do any cleaning in the house, the washing up or your laundry; there isn't a cleaning fairy that does it for you so am I right in assuming that it's your parents who do that?

The underlying complaint from your parents could be that you don't contribute to keeping the house tidy at all and why should they have to clean up after you.

If you get advantages from living at home such as cheaper rent and utilities and food; then you're not living as a lodger.

The compromise could be to have a regular tidy up, perhaps once or twice a month (especially if visitors are coming) which you could fit in even with a full time job.

If you really don't want to do the cleaning for whatever reason (I'm not going to judge why); why not pay for a cleaner to do your room or the entire house (with your parent's permission).

miriamm

We don't really know if your dad's being a massive tyrant or you are being a massive slob, or both or neither. But whatever the truth, since the state of your room has become a source of friction between you and your dad you need to find a way of dealing with it.

Asking the internet may seem like the way to go, but even if everyone here agreed with you that your dad was being unreasonable, it wouldn't really resolve anything because it wouldn't make him less unreasonable.

I would definitely try and talk to him to find out if it's really just your room that's bothering him or if that's a front for the real issue...maybe he feels it's time you flew the nest and got your own place, and this is how he's trying to express it.

If it really is just the room, the way I see it, you basically have 3 options, and only you can make the choice:

1. Decide you want to stay, and go along with what he wants in order to preserve a good relationship (his house, his rules).
2. Decide you want to stay but challenge him about his "reasonableness" and risk a big row, a falling out and lots of upset. Plus the loss of your stuff if he does chuck it out.
3. Decide to move out, pay a bit more but live how you want.

For me, it would have been between 1 and 3, and at the age of 24 I'd have chosen 3 in a heartbeat.