Real-life MMD: If I'm paying rent, why should I tidy my room?

tgroom57

I think you both need to move away from the parent-child scenario.

Maybe discuss with your dad - for example - what extra storage you need for your things : extra bookcases, shelves, drawers etc. I very nearly bought a second-hand merchants chest when my daughter moved back in, and wished now that I had!

But on a daily basis -from experience with my own adult daughter - I would expect you to take out any used dishes, mugs, drinks cans and empty wrappers. Week-old pizza boxes is not a good look.

Geordie_Lad

It's time you learned the facts of life. Bad habits now will do you no good at all in the future, whether in the workplace or in digs.

Tidy your room or move out and let your parents rent it to someone who will - and will probably pay more.

londonlydia

Heaven forbid a parent wants to give some advice and wants their home to be kept nice! So what if you pay rent, your parents arent landlords and wouldnt be renting your room otherwise.

To ask on a public forum for justification for you argument is simply ridiculous. You should want to keep your room tidy and not upset your dad. You're not a teenager anymore and in my eyes have no excuse to be disrespecting your parents. Tidy it up, and learn to live tidier as well!

stmartinsdiver

You'd seriously risk taking the chance of losing a good relationship with your parents because you're too childish to abide by their rules in their house?
Swallow your misplaced pride and tidy up or move out - then you'd appreciate what you you had been getting for below market rates!

PeteW

If a private rental is only a bit more, then why not just move out? Saves the argument entirely.

Probably because your mum still does all your laundry, cooks you dinner, pays for all your food etc? In which case, you're not really renting at all and it's not unreasonable that she asks you to keep your room tidy.

Mojisola

MSE_Debs wrote: »

I'm 24 and just moved back into my parents 4-bed house. I work full time and pay my parents rent, something I suggested and an amount which we all agreed on.

I think my room's an organised mess, but my Dad thinks it's a tip, and wants it to meet his standards of cleanliness.

Around the rest of the house I abide by my parent's rules, but this is my room and as I'm paying rent I think my dad is being unreasonable. I could rent a small room privately for a little more per week.

As I said on the original thread - the father needs to learn that an adult's child's private space is just that - private. The son is complying with everything the father wants in the shared part of the house and his room isn't dirty or smelly - it's just less tidy than the father would like.

If the father can't respect that his son is now a man and can choose whether to leave a book open or a newspaper on the floor of his bedroom, he's the one with the problem and will push his son away.

If he can't give his son this degree of control over his life, how will he behave if the son makes more important life choices that he doesn't agree with?

snowleopard61

I do agree with those who have said that the parents' rules still hold, regardless of whether the OP is paying rent. But that's almost beside the point - at 24 the OP should at least aspire to be clean and tidy, rather than defend his/her right to live in a mess, whether organised or otherwise.

mosnel

It is your parent's home, so in 24 years time if the same happens to you, you 'rent' a room to your child, let me know your answer then.
You dont have to move back to your parents, you could always rent your own place and live like you want.

Courtney29

If you are renting a room in a house share, then your landlord or fellow house mates have no say over the tidiness of your bedroom.

Therefore the logic runs that if your parents want to have a say over the tidiness of your room then they must forgo the rent you are paying them so that they can tell you how to keep your room.
Children do not pay rent, so if they want to treat you as such then they cannot expect you to pay for that!

I think most of the people commenting on this forum are parents themselves and are out of touch with how house shares work.

The question is if your father had a stranger renting your room, would they tell that person how to keep their room? I bet they would not as no renter would tolerate that.

billshep

I think this comes down to levels and reasonableness on both parties - in my opinion as long as you don't have festering mugs and dirty clothes, etc. all over the floor and the 'organised mess' is just clothes (part worn, cleanish) on the back of chairs and books, etc. piled on tables and desks, and you aren't expecting somebody else to clean the room then I think your dad is being inflexible - you are paying rent for the room and he shouldn't treat you like a child.
If however the room is a complete tip with dirty clothes, festering mugs and stuff all over the floor then maybe he has a point as the mess may cause lasting damage to the room in terms of smells and stains (not to mention smells escaping to the rest of the house) and also it would be difficult to get in for maintenance.