Real-life MMD: If I'm paying rent, why should I tidy my room?

RosieMacDoo

Can't believe some of the twaddle being posted in response to this!

'Do as you're told or move out'?! Seriously?! How grown up!

This is not a black and white parent/child relationship OR a landlord/tenant relationship - billshep had it right above, it's about negotiation and coming to an agreement between you about what is 'reasonable' in terms of tidyness / cleanliness (and yes these can be two separate things!)

Mojisola

bogwart wrote: »

If you rented a flat you would be expected to maintain a degree of tidiness. In any case, why do you want to live in a tip? One day presumably you will want a tidy place for you and your family, what's so bad about learning a little self-discipline now? I do not think 24 is too soon to start behaving like an adult.

I think those of us who read the original post are answering differently to those who are picturing a smelly, filthy mess of a room.

This is the extent of the problem -
"Now I've moved back in, he is unhappy that my room is 'messy'. Different people have different interpretations of what messy is, but in my case it is a few magazines and pieces of paper in the pile on the floor, things strewn out across the top of my cabinet, bits and bobs on my desk, clothes (ironed and not) thrown across the chair and bed, etc. Also 3 pairs of shoes on the floor."

And "I'm not a kid any more and at 24 I think my dad is being unreasonable, having demanded that I either make the room more presentable within a week, or he will do it for me (meaning he'll chuck stuff out or put things he deems I don't need or use often into the loft)."

This smacks more of a father unable to see that his child is now an adult than a adult son acting like a teenager.

I think the only solution is to move out but unless Dad starts to see his son as another man and not a boy, this won't be the only issue that causes problems.

CupcakeGirl

Moving back home after a time away isn't always easy for either the son/daughter or parents. So, I wonder why you chose to move 'home' instead of renting your own space. Of course, it could be for many legitimate reasons but it's likely to be the cushier deal - even though you're paying rent, are you really paying fully for all the services you receive? It would be a real shame if you are taking undue advantage of your parents because I'm sure they are happy to see you more often but they will have learned to enjoy their space/time without the additional responsibility of offspring living with them. I say to both my teenage sons: it will always be your home it but it is still our house after you've gone and we would appreciate it being kept in a good state. Living in a less messy state makes life a lot easier - both mentally and physically. So, seeing that you've asked, I would urge you to: keep calm, remember that an adult life is never about just what you want, tidy your room (not just because your Dad expects you to but so you can remind yourself how nice it looks and easy it is to move around - no more broken items because they're under clothing and been trodden on) and enjoy a good relationship with your parents whilst you're with them. Time will come when you will have your own place - you could choose to live in a mess then and it will be for other people to decide if they want to visit! Good luck.

siani70

Move out! I left home at 18 - no way could I have lived with my parents at 24. And I really hope that my teenagers are not living in my house when they're 24! If you can afford to live elsewhere then do so.

Alternatively, tidy your room up - one day maybe you will live with a partner and he or she will be grateful that you are so well-trained.

elsien

nearlyrich wrote: »

Didn't we do this one last week ?

This did come up as an original post a short while ago, and the debate was done to death there.
Shall I post the link and save everyone the time and trouble of repeating themselves all over again?:D

mottyt

Can't really see how this made it on as a topic.

You're not paying rent as such are you, you're contributing to the bills that your parents pick up which may be higher because you also live there; food, water, energy, council tax.

You could rent a room elsewhere, but it wouldn't be in a 4 bed family home where you're presumably entirely comfortable, can have mates round, can use the garden and don't have to live with strangers.

If you've got a tenancy agreement with your parents then fair enough, but I assume you haven't as that would be an odd way for a family to work.

Everyone prefers a tidy room surely.

MuddyMulberry

I wonder if this person is actually paying RENT or contributing towards the household expenses (council tax, utilities, maintenance) or even food, laundry, and parental favours of the 'could you just' variety? RENT only includes bills if so stated. Meals, laundry, cleaning and so on are only provided to LODGERS, which is a different arrangement altogether. If you are paying RENT you have the right to live in a private mess. If you are a LODGER you should expect to live tidily. Oh, and people who pay RENT also have to pay a large deposit up front (often several hundred pounds) which is forfeited if anything is damaged or even dirty at the end of the rental period. SHAPE UP or SHIP OUT.

Mojisola

MuddyMulberry wrote: »

If you are a LODGER you should expect to live tidily.

If you had a lodger, would you demand that he didn't leave his shoes or a newspaper on the floor in his room and threaten to go and throw away anything of his that you didn't think he was using?

Moneygonewhere?

Are you sure you're 24 and not 14? Respect your parents, tidy up your room or move out!

ilovelondontown

I've been the adult "child" back at home and I found it hard and I understand the dilemma completely. It's not always as clear cut as "just move out your 24"

My view is that it is your room your space your rules. So long as you're respecting the mutual areas of the home it just sounds like dad is playing dad and in return your playing the kid.

This view point comes from previously being in a house share where I woudn't dream of going into another persons room and telling them what to do with the state of their room and living alone and deciding I'll do the washing up when I decide I want to!