Real-life MMD: If I'm paying rent, why should I tidy my room?

Clueless969

KxMx wrote: »

Gosh, so much generalising on this thread casting OP as the ungrateful brat and his father as the saint.
I guess some people can't handle the fact that it may be the parent in the wrong! Because obviously all you parents are perfect!
:cool:

It's irrelevant who's in the "wrong" (as you put it). It's his parents' home and if they expect it to be treated in a specific way that's their right.

Anyone living in their home should expect to keep to their rules.

No one is forcing the 24 year old to live there.

If he doesn't like the conditions being imposed, however light or onerous they might be, he's already stated he has the cash to live elsewhere and so he should do just that - live elsewhere.

Basically, I'm wondering if he lives in the real world and also why he chose to move back home in the first place, particularly if he can afford to live independently?

p.s. so what if he has a full-time job, it doesn't excuse him from the obligations he took on by moving back home - i.e. his parents' rules and wishes.

economically_challenged

PS When and if you do decide to tidy up, please do it for your own sake rather than just to keep your Dad quiet (he may call anything short of impeccable perfection 'a tip', for all I know).

sue09

I think growing up would be the best answer & get the room on your own you'll soon find out where you were better off. Do you think a landlord won't have some regulations, you'll be charged a large deposit & get none of it back. My daughter lives away from home, has done for nearly 4 years for her degree & her biggest gripe is some of the people she shared a house with previously never cleaning anything up & just expecting someone else to clean up. Your parents have every right to tell you to keep your room tidy it is their home, I think a dose of living on your own will do you good don't forget the room may be only a few pounds cheaper but you'll have to pay for all the extras your parents now provide & at some point you will have to do some cleaning up or buy vast amounts of crockery etc & get your laundry done or you won't be eating & will be going out naked or in clothes that stink. To be honest I've never heard such a ridiculous argument, it just shows how un grownup you are. I'd have a good think if I were you & then maybe you might realise what a good deal you are getting.

flimflam_machine

To all those telling the OP to "grow up", "stop sulking" etc. you have spectacularly missed the point and your replies are hugely unhelpful, not to mention insulting to the OP (what right have you to judge the state of his room?) This mindless response could equally well be directed to the OP's Dad to say "If you don't like the way that your son is keeping his room then stop taking his rent money, terminate his contract (if you have one) and kick him out."

The point is that this is a not a straightforward child-parent or tenant/lodger-landlord relationship. If the parents want to treat him like a child and have full control over the state of his room (i.e., "my house, my rules") then stop taking his money. If they want to treat him like an adult in taking his rent/contribution towards costs then accept that he has at least some of the rights of a tenant. As long as the room is just messy and not dirty in such a way that it causes offensive smells or long-term damage above normal wear and tear, then the parents should keep their noses out.

The best solution is a compromise, discuss it with your dad and ask what he actually wants and why, and explain why you feel it's an invasion of your privacy and an unfair imposition. Hopefully, you can agree on where your rights start and his end.

phoebe03cat

Nope ..don't bother talking, obviously you have no consideration..just move out and please yourself, about time you did anyway

sue09

I have lived with teenagers & respected their privacy, I still do, my daughters bedroom is full of her stuff which I would never dream of moving or looking through any of her stuff. All I do is dust & hoover. After living away from home she will admit that it is nice to come home & have things clean & get her laundry done, watch TV, get meals made etc. She was like any other teenager but since she has had to do things for herself & take the responsibility of paying rent & bills & freely admits how cushy she had it at home. She has grown up which I personally think would do op a lot of good. I like my home clean & I pay all the bills so the least I would expect is being respected just as I respect her & not told I would have to live with one room of our home a dump, I'm not talking pristine but my daughter wanted her bedroom doing out & after paying for her bedroom completely re done I think she is old enough to respect that it cost a lot of money & has not been done to have it looking or smelling like a dump.

Clueless969

@flimflam_machine - sorry but I think that you are the one to have "spectacularly missed the point".

Nothing to do with parent/child relationship, when you live in someone else's property you are obliged to live by their rules. If you don't like the rules set by your landlord or, in this case, your parents, you find somewhere that will allow you to live in the way that you wish/want/need - end of story...

...the person who owns the property sets the rules.

Mojisola

Clueless969 wrote: »

...the person who owns the property sets the rules.

That could lead to an interesting situation if the father ever moves in with his son - "Dad, I've told you I'm not having your room kept like a show home. It's my house, so it's my rules. If you don't make your room a big untidier, I'm coming in there to do it myself!"

Always_bemused

If you were a teenager, I might sympathise. However, anyone can live like a pig -that's easy. What about your self-respect, don't you have any? What about having some respect for your parents too? They have worked hard all their lives to bring you up and to keep a nice house. It's just plain old common decency -nothing to do with the money you pay in. Sorry!

(A dad with two kids, one grown up)

Clueless969

Mojisola wrote: »

That could lead to an interesting situation if the father ever moves in with his son - "Dad, I've told you I'm not having your room kept like a show home. It's my house, so it's my rules. If you don't make your room a big untidier, I'm coming in there to do it myself!"

Agreed and, as in this case, a cause of friction!