Your thoughts please.

January20

jaqs_back wrote: »

fair enough. it sound like you've questioned if you're paranoid or not. I'd definitely be careful, and it's a shame if he's being really intimidating. the other thing is maybe he's not trying to be intimidating on purpose, but he's trying to show you he's not bothered by the fact he can look at you and ignore you

You see! Exactly what I mean about posting here for other people's view! I had not thought about that! Thank you.

Which musician was it?

bagpussbear

OP I do wonder if a change of tactics on your behalf might help things?

For instance, don't try to ignore him, he needs to know that you have clocked him. Look at him, stop walking and stare back blankly. See what his reaction is.

What do you think?

Person_one

I think you're right to be concerned, this sounds seriously unnerving and you should listen to your instincts.

Do you have a personal alarm? If not, get one. I'd definitely have a chat with the police, they might be able to recommend a panic alarm (one that silently calls either the police or a family member etc.)

There's always this organisation if you start feeling more worried or just want a chat to get it all off your chest. There's a forum on there too.

http://www.stalkinghelpline.org

BitterAndTwisted

January20 wrote: »

I'm quite happy to get advice from the police but I wouldn't be terribly happy about them contacting him. He hasn't done anything wrong and them having a word with him could possibly worsen the situation if he is really unhinged or vindictive. The police would have a word, leave and I'd still have to live here and deal with him.

And of course, it would show him that he's got to me!

I think you've summed up the situation correctly.

I'd be minded to stare right back at him from time to time to let him know you're not intimidated by his attention one iota. He's trying to elicit some response from you, so I think it's important that he doesn't see that you could be feeling threatened by it at all.

Hopefully, he'll get bored with his pointless staring eventually when fails to get the response he wants.

bagpussbear

jaqs_back wrote: »

I think that sounds very antagonistic The op would be escalating the situation there, where if this guy is unhinged, it might not be a good idea to do.

Possibly, it's just a suggestion though, OP please don't do anything that makes you uncomfortable.

I am someone that will 'confront' if something or someone is making my life uncomfortable. The OP said she wasn't scared but annoyed. Personally I am the type of person that would go up to him and say what the hell are you playing at at - rightly or wrong lol.

Most on this thread are erring on the side of caution that the guy is automatically a dangerous nutter because he stares. That may not necessarily be the case.

So like I said, its just another suggestion OP, feel free to ignore me

January20

jaqs_back wrote: »

Kurt Cobain sang those words in Lithium

Ah that guy was so hot! I was looking at pictures online a few days ago (I'm a google addict lol!) such a waste of a life! Not familiar with the music at all though! Next bit of research for me!

jaqs_back wrote: »

I think that sounds very antagonistic The op would be escalating the situation there, where if this guy is unhinged, it might not be a good idea to do.

Although bagpussbear's suggestion is one that would make me feel in control of the situation, I think I agree with you about not risking escalating the situation. It might not be safe to do so.

Funky_Bold_Ribena

January20 wrote: »

Ah you're misunderstanding me! this was just an example. There are many other instances/ examples in various situations around my home where it has happened. I don't want to give too many precise examples just in case.

My movements are not fixed but his are so, for instance, I know that if he leaves the building, as he walks out he will turn round and look up at my windows. Always! And it is my windows, not a general look at the building.

I'm not misunderstanding; I can't mind read. I can only respond to your words.

Why are you staring at him when he walks past?

January20

bagpussbear wrote: »

Possibly, it's just a suggestion though, OP please don't do anything that makes you uncomfortable.

I am someone that will 'confront' if something or someone is making my life uncomfortable. The OP said she wasn't scared but annoyed. Personally I am the type of person that would go up to him and say what the hell are you playing at at - rightly or wrong lol.

Most on this thread are erring on the side of caution that the guy is automatically a dangerous nutter because he stares. That may not necessarily be the case.

So like I said, its just another suggestion OP, feel free to ignore me

Thank you!
I am grateful that you and all the other posters in this thread have taken time to give me their opinion. I very much appreciate it!

January20

Funky_Bold_Ribena wrote: »

I'm not misunderstanding; I can't mind read. I can only respond to your words.

Why are you staring at him when he walks past?

So far on this thread we have been having a very nice discussion where nobody has got annoyed with any body else. I would like it to remain so, please?

My reply to you was not antagonistic or nasty. Of course, I am aware that you can't read mind. There is no need to be short with me.

I suggested you were misunderstanding me because in my 1st post, I gave the example you referred to and said that I could give other examples but wouldn't do so.

Where did you get the idea I was staring at him?

bagpussbear

January20 wrote: »

Thank you!
I am grateful that you and all the other posters in this thread have taken time to give me their opinion. I very much appreciate it!

I hope this situation sorts itself out very soon for you, horrible situation to be in. Hugs OP