Nice People Thread Part 9 - and so it continues

silvercar

PasturesNew wrote: »

It's all very well doing wills..... but if there's an error you don't know until it's presented after death. We had several errors and poor choices. [1] Both wills were identical, except swapped names - except on dad's they hadn't swapped the names, so he left everything to himself. This meant the will was technically invalid/same as dying intestate, we had a chance to go for an amendment (forget the special word)... which, luckily, we did. [2] His half of the house money, if sold, was to go into a trust for 3 of us - nuisance and pointless. As we're all financially independent there's nobody on benefits, nobody going bankrupt, all this has done is tied up that money for years, with us having to administer it. Interest to go to mum - except she won't benefit from it (as such) as it'd just pay her home fees, but as she's got half the house money she'll be paying for years yet. [3] Also, all cash went from dad to mum - we had no idea he had that much; thought they were just rubbing along - so now that's all gone into the pot paying mum's home fees.

It'd have been easier/cleaner if we'd inherited dad's money and half the house money, clean and simple ..... none of us would ever see mum go without by doing this. He wrote the will "to protect mum" from being robbed/abandoned by us .... in his bizarre way. No need, none of us are crooks or leading strange/extravagent/feral lifestyles.

Dad wanted us to have it, it's how he was brought up/his belief .... it never entered his head [1] he'd go first [2] mum'd go into a home and fees would eat it all up. That wasn't on his radar... he'd be spitting feathers and blowing a gasket if he knew what's happened.

Seems like he was protecting some money for you and siblings and trying to do the same for her.

We have similar, except that there are too many executors and I and my sister know nothing of the details other than there is some money held in trust somewhere. We are both named as executors but mum won't give us any more information. We could push the point and demand to know from the solicitor, but would then be accused of being only interested in the money. So we have left it.

silvercar

vivatifosi wrote: »

Glasgow grit very much at the fore again, the way people ran to the pub to help rather than away to safety. Reminds me a lot of the Glasgow Airport attack.

It was on twitter that in the airport attack, people had rushed towards the landrover and the terminal building, whereas the sensible thing to do would be to move away. Lots of tweets saying people should move away from the pub in case there was an explosion.

LydiaJ

silvercar wrote: »

Seems like he was protecting some money for you and siblings and trying to do the same for her.

We have similar, except that there are too many executors and I and my sister know nothing of the details other than there is some money held in trust somewhere. We are both named as executors but mum won't give us any more information. We could push the point and demand to know from the solicitor, but would then be accused of being only interested in the money. So we have left it.

So you are executors of your dad's will but you're not being allowed to know what it said? That's insane. Are you also trustees of the trust? It sounds as though you don't even know that. How can you be sure you're fulfilling your legal responsibilities if you don't even know what they are? In your position I would certainly have a little chat with the solicitor - maybe not demand to know stuff that would upset your mum, but at least check that the solicitor knows the extent to which you are being kept in the dark, and ask whether there is anything that s/he thinks you need to know, either for now or to make sure you are in a position to deal with things when your mum eventually dies.

PS lir - I've emailed you.

PasturesNew

For past wills, you can obtain a copy of it, some Govt Dept holds them and you can simply pay and get a copy. You can't get the will of a living person.

LydiaJ

PasturesNew wrote: »

For past wills, you can obtain a copy of it, some Govt Dept holds them and you can simply pay and get a copy. You can't get the will of a living person.

Oooh, I didn't think of that. Great idea PN. That way silvercar can get the information without upsetting anybody.

silvercar

LydiaJ wrote: »

So you are executors of your dad's will but you're not being allowed to know what it said? That's insane. Are you also trustees of the trust? It sounds as though you don't even know that. How can you be sure you're fulfilling your legal responsibilities if you don't even know what they are? In your position I would certainly have a little chat with the solicitor - maybe not demand to know stuff that would upset your mum, but at least check that the solicitor knows the extent to which you are being kept in the dark, and ask whether there is anything that s/he thinks you need to know, either for now or to make sure you are in a position to deal with things when your mum eventually dies.

PS lir - I've emailed you.

I've got the will, that was when I found out I was an executor! But that was when everything was done and dusted. So there is now some money held, who knows where, that I am joint trustee of (along with 4 or 5 others). The money is in trust so that the capital is preserved for sibling and I and the interest goes to Mum. Don't know how much money and don't know where it is held. To be clear I don't suspect any wrong doing, but apparently I don't need to know this stuff. Sighs! But in the grand scheme of things, it doesn't really matter. The money is held - I assume in very safe cash bonds.

silvercar

PasturesNew wrote: »

You won't be able to find out where until your mum tells you or dies; once she dies banks have to declare they have an account ... and, by then, you'll have access to all her post/letters.

I'm actually surprised the other executors (at least one accountant and one solicitor) haven't told us as part of their duties/ professional responsibilities.

Anyway, hopefully she has many years ahead and can get to the point where she is a happier person and has a fulfilling life of her own.

LydiaJ

silvercar wrote: »

I've got the will, that was when I found out I was an executor! But that was when everything was done and dusted. So there is now some money held, who knows where, that I am joint trustee of (along with 4 or 5 others). The money is in trust so that the capital is preserved for sibling and I and the interest goes to Mum. Don't know how much money and don't know where it is held. To be clear I don't suspect any wrong doing, but apparently I don't need to know this stuff. Sighs! But in the grand scheme of things, it doesn't really matter. The money is held - I assume in very safe cash bonds.

Sighs indeed. You're more longsuffering than I would be. I'm afraid I would flat out refuse to be a trustee of something I knew nothing about. But I suppose growing up in a family where it was considered OK to talk about such things I haven't had the training and experience in how to deal with parents who don't see things that way.

I haven't seen my dad's will. I know I'm an executor, and I know the bulk of the estate goes to the four of us offspring in equal shares, with no specification as to who gets which bit - we get to sort that out between us when the time comes. But I do know that the solicitor who drew up the will was one of my brothers, and he has extensive experience of probate and obviously has the best interests of the family at heart, so I'm assuming the details will all be as they should be.

PasturesNew wrote: »

You won't be able to find out where until your mum tells you or dies; once she dies banks have to declare they have an account ... and, by then, you'll have access to all her post/letters.

As long as she hasn't lost the relevant pieces of paper or thrown them away. :eek:

LydiaJ

silvercar wrote: »

I'm actually surprised the other executors (at least one accountant and one solicitor) haven't told us as part of their duties/ professional responsibilities.

So am I.

silvercar wrote: »

Anyway, hopefully she has many years ahead and can get to the point where she is a happier person and has a fulfilling life of her own.

Absolutely. She's not that old, is she? And she's basically healthy mentally and physically, I gather, even if struggling emotionally? Here's hoping for the best for her.

Spirit_2

OH and I were chatting, in the sitting room, when we heard the sound of ...runaway horse.

Sickening fast trot.

DD and OH went out to help. All reunited and well.

Rider was one of three youngish teens, came off in the woods when the pony bolted. There is a bauble hunt in the woods today, not the day to be hacking through there.

DD is riding out this pm:(