Nice People Thread Part 9 - and so it continues

vivatifosi

Happy Birthday Pastures!

And Happy St Andrews Day Scottish NPs

Yorkie1

PasturesNew wrote: »

I've been in nearly 1.5 hours, turned heating on as soon as I came in (treating myself!) .... had a full hot curry, hot naan .... sitting under a furry blanket, how come I am still freezing, fingers are freezing, legs are freezing??

Nikkster wrote: »

PN - I find that moving around is the best way to warm up. That and a hot water bottle. Maybe some thermal socks might help? They often sell them in Lidl/ Aldi, or sports direct type shops.

I do find that a hot water bottle to cuddle makes a world of difference when I am as cold as you describe.

Hope you feel warmer soon, it's horrid when even your nose hurts even if it's not actually that cold in the room you're in.

PasturesNew

I thought, earlier, I'd turned up the rad full.... just ventured out from under the blanket to feel it - stone cold. I'd turned it off, not on. told you I wasn't good at this

In the daylight I'll get down and work out whether anticlockwise or clockwise is on/off ... then draw a little picture and put it as a post-it on the wall.

Edit: worked it out ... turn anticlockwise to turn on

lostinrates

PasturesNew wrote: »

I thought, earlier, I'd turned up the rad full.... just ventured out from under the blanket to feel it - stone cold. I'd turned it off, not on. told you I wasn't good at this

In the daylight I'll get down and work out whether anticlockwise or clockwise is on/off ... then draw a little picture and put it as a post-it on the wall.

Lefty loosey / righty tighty.

I think that a radiator valve would be like most of those thingies and lefty loosey would open it.

If its turned wholly one way now and its off which way ones that leave you to turn it?



Do you have a thermostat? Is it in a sensible place?

michaels

PasturesNew wrote: »

Then I went into Morrisons, picked up a scotch egg from their basics range (31p) and some 'own brand' Tuc biscuits (90p instead of £1.30) .... and some naan breads, Then, on the way back to the car, spotted an indian, so went in and got a veggie biryani.

Biryani's passable, but nothing to write home about; I'd not recommend them, nor go again .... which is a pity as they did give me a free poppadum and a small bag of chopped onion.

Now stuffed .... still half the biryani left, so that's going in the fridge now.

I love it when we end up having something unplanned for dinner, it generally only happens when there is something different on special/reduced at the supermarket - tonight it was English muffins so we had egg 'mcmuffins', baked beans, gherkins and brown sauce with some salad. Not what we ever normally eat but a nice change.

PasturesNew wrote: »

I thought, earlier, I'd turned up the rad full.... just ventured out from under the blanket to feel it - stone cold. I'd turned it off, not on. told you I wasn't good at this

In the daylight I'll get down and work out whether anticlockwise or clockwise is on/off ... then draw a little picture and put it as a post-it on the wall.

Edit: worked it out ... turn anticlockwise to turn on

Despite having done more than my share of plumbing in my life I can never remember which way the valves go

PasturesNew

lostinrates wrote: »

Do you have a thermostat? Is it in a sensible place?

No thermostat. It was easy until today. When I want the heating on I press the boiler button 3x. When I want it off I press it once.

Radiator has the control on it. Boiler has a setting for how hot the radiators are and the water is.

It's just a question of getting to know a system. Last year, when it wasn't on my bill, I just left the heating to come on automatically and it'd either turn off automatically or I'd turn it off if I were hot.

silvercar

PasturesNew wrote: »

For all those of us who've lost a parent in recent years.... we never imagined it'd be like this. Mum/dad'd just get older, stay in their own home, not go ga-ga, then one would die peacefully and the other would plod on, fully able, until one day they died peacefully too.

Nobody told us it was like this!

Exactly!

Doubly compounded because they didn't think ahead either. She assumed that they would go together when they were both very, very old.

zagubov

My thoughts are with alll NPs who have lost parents.

There was a father and son my family know who were part of the band in the bar that the helicopter crashed into last night but they got out safely.

LydiaJ

silvercar wrote: »

I find I can't reflect because the minute I think of him, all thoughts turn to dealing with mum who has turned impossibly needy now she is on her own.

Well, if you are looking for a reason why your grief is not making progress, then I think you may have found it. I know that when my own mum died I dealt much better with my own loss of my mum than with my feelings about my dad's loss of his wife, which I found quite overwhelming at times. That has got easier for me, of course, as he's been able to look forward and find good things to look forward to as well as sadness in not having her with him any more. So I can quite see why your mum's neediness would make it impossible for you - how very difficult. Is there any way you can get away from it all for a bit and have time to yourself to think about him and about you?

PasturesNew wrote: »

For all those of us who've lost a parent in recent years.... we never imagined it'd be like this. Mum/dad'd just get older, stay in their own home, not go ga-ga, then one would die peacefully and the other would plod on, fully able, until one day they died peacefully too.

Nobody told us it was like this!

That's another difference. I never imagined it would be as simple as that. Both my grandmothers were in care homes for years - one had Alzheimer's and the other went blind and deaf. I expected something similar to happen to my mum, and so did my parents - although we were all hoping it wouldn't happen until she was into her 90s, or late 80s at least, as happened for the grandmothers. So when she got Lewy Body dementia in her late 70s it was a shock that it was earlier than expected, but not the total bolt from the blue that it was for you. My concept of planning for my own old age includes years in a care home too. That's just what happens to just about all old women in my family - not just my mum and both grandmothers, but various aunts and great-aunts as well.

Nikkster wrote: »

Thoughts and love to all NP who have lost parents, but particularly to Lydia, PN and silvercar x

Thank you everyone who's expressed kind thoughts like these. I am either a totally heartless cow, or I have had more support, or my mum's long drawn out descent into dementia made it more gradual for me, or the demands of my chaotic working single parent life have taken me out of myself, or something, because I am OK. I mean, I've been thinking about her today, and about my dad, but it's only a nostalgic sadness, and a lot of love for what a wonderful person she was, and that one little niggle about the baby blanket.

Yorkie1

Mum and Dad have just re-done their wills. It's been a drawn-out process and it suddenly hit Mum that when they were talking in the abstract about the 'first death' and 'second death', one of those deaths was hers. Brings it home.