Nice People Thread Part 9 - and so it continues

LydiaJ

michaels wrote: »

To me that is wonderful that he is able to concentrate on the future rather than the past. How are things for you - any update on 'dates'?

Yes, he's an amazing man. I found him on the morning after her funeral, sitting at the kitchen table with one of my brothers, praying about what God might want him to do with the rest of his life. He was 85 then. He's picked up a bit of a "non-resident dad" kind of role in my kids' lives, and I use him for bouncing ideas off when parenting is being challenging.

Dates - no idea. Apparently the coroner's handing the whole thing over to a high court judge now. No idea what the implications of that are. Didn't get the email until after the end of business hours on Friday, so will have to wait until Monday to phone my solicitor to discuss it. (Please don't quote this paragraph.)

Doozergirl wrote: »

Oh Lydia. I have genuinely been thinking of you today. I have no idea why, but I was in the shower earlier and it just popped into my head that it must have been about two years. I think because there was a lot of upheaval in our lives at the time, but that is still strange as I wasn't thinking of that particularly, either.

I hope the family is okay, dad especially.

Aww thank you Doozer. He's mostly OK. He got a bit tearful when we talked about her at the end of the call, in a healthy sort of "not bottling up but not getting overwhelmed either" sort of way. He sees the bottom line as that he had a wonderfully happy marriage to an amazing woman for 55 years, and he still has 4 lovely children and 7 similarly lovely grandchildren, so he's done better than most people and chooses to concentrate on being grateful.

Spirit_2

PasturesNew wrote: »

£350k... got quite a few desirable elements: garage, balcony overlooking water, location, sunny back area, room they call study is great storage/workshop for hobbies. http://www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-38853673.html

Nowhere near that amount though

And it's mid terrace.

I like that house Pastures.

lostinrates

Bit annoyed.

Decorator ( doing wood in bathroom) finally showed up, after midday ...we'd had to phone him and woken him up. His kid ( five) was in tow. We were busy and had not planned to entertain a child.

Child isGREAT. Seriously great. One of the brightest children I have ever met. Obviously gets good parental input, kids like that have to. We read together and I was awed by the kid's ability, both what was known, but astoundingly by what was taken on as new in formation. then child told me that because they had a. Slept in and b. run out of milk they had had neither breakfast nor lunch but might be having a macdonalds for supper as a treat ( mum is away ). Obviously I fed the child ...and the father. But felt the list of cross ness mounting. Child fell on a banana while I made sandwiches.

1. Was late
2. Had kid
3. Hadn't fed kid


Then he broke one of my bathroom lights.

Seriously. He's a good decorater, maybe it's just a really bad day and we all have them? Kid was cool....( I wanted to keep it). If this kid went to a school that gave opportunity and scope I think it could be what ever it wanted to be.


I am shattered though, bright kids are so much more exhausting.....I'm torn between hoping he finds a babysitter so I can get on and wanting to spend more time with kid tomorrow......

CKhalvashi

michaels wrote: »

To me that is wonderful that he is able to concentrate on the future rather than the past. How are things for you - any update on 'dates'?

I'm with this completely. Thinking of you and your family.

Yorkie1 wrote: »

Good luck!

We did it.

http://www.junioreurovision.tv/page/webtv?program=91993

CK

Spirit_2

LydiaJ wrote: »

Two years today since my mum died. Long phone call with my dad. Only talked about her a bit, though. Mostly he wanted to talk about my kids and how they're doing, especially DS.

Two years is not very long. I hope you have time to reminisce or reflect.

PasturesNew

lostinrates wrote: »

Bit annoyed.
....

If you'd gone out .... what'd have happened to the kid? He didn't know you'd be around etc .... kid could have got into all sorts of mischief and trouble being left alone in a strange, old house, with lots of land/outbuildings... and dogs potentially sitting around.

LydiaJ

PasturesNew wrote: »

Awww *hugs*. It doesn't get easier does it.

Spirit wrote: »

Two years is not very long. I hope you have time to reminisce or reflect.

Thanks both of you. Yes, I've had some time to think.

It's sort of longer than 2 years, though. 2 years since she died, and four and a half since she very nearly died, after which she didn't regain consciousness for months and even when she did come round, she never properly recovered either mentally or physically. (That was 2/4/09). I think I started on my grief process then.

At least I had the chance to say everything I wanted to say. I have only one regret. She was disappointed, I think, that I didn't make more use of the baby blanket that she knitted for DS. I wish she could know that he treasures it now as a memory of her.

PasturesNew

So, went to find this field - sign en-route said event was 9-5.30 and it was in the town, not the field. Sign closer said 9-5..... parked (free luckily, just because of the event).... and wandered around. Not much there, stuff's overpriced. Took some photos. Same a real owl, some reingeers made of small logs and some overpriced food (small bag of chestbuts roasted: £2).

Then I went into Morrisons, picked up a scotch egg from their basics range (31p) and some 'own brand' Tuc biscuits (90p instead of £1.30) .... and some naan breads, Then, on the way back to the car, spotted an indian, so went in and got a veggie biryani.

Biryani's passable, but nothing to write home about; I'd not recommend them, nor go again .... which is a pity as they did give me a free poppadum and a small bag of chopped onion.

Now stuffed .... still half the biryani left, so that's going in the fridge now.

lostinrates

LydiaJ wrote: »

Thanks both of you. Yes, I've had some time to think.

It's sort of longer than 2 years, though. 2 years since she died, and four and a half since she very nearly died, after which she didn't regain consciousness for months and even when she did come round, she never properly recovered either mentally or physically. (That was 2/4/09). I think I started on my grief process then.

At least I had the chance to say everything I wanted to say. I have only one regret. She was disappointed, I think, that I didn't make more use of the baby blanket that she knitted for DS. I wish she could know that he treasures it now as a memory of her.

The important thing now is that HE has it and that you know He has it I think.

Most importantly they have you, and your father and family. And know what a woman your mother was through collective memory to fill in gaps where theirs is too young.

My love to you always, but especially today.

Doozergirl

PasturesNew wrote: »

Awww *hugs*. It doesn't get easier does it.

I'm nearly eleven years down the line for me and I can report that it does. It will. I am more moving towards being glad that she was here than sad that she is not.

I do have a tear in my eye but am smiling.