Nice People Thread Part 9 - and so it continues

zagubov

PasturesNew wrote: »

I took the tests some years ago as they were free and I was passing .... but then I found out the costs of membership and decided I couldn't afford to pay that to sit and chat to Tefal heads

One of my aunts used to run the M group in her part of the world.

Just checked, it's £22.50 for the test and £50/year for membership. Then there'd be the costs of travelling to any groups/whatever.... and one of my main issues at the moment is lack of cashflow. I could find other ways to spend an initial £75

It doesn't sound like much,TBH. I've invigilated their tests and there's not much fuss. You just sit in a room with a supervisor and work on it quietly. Have a think about it.

A friend who was a member used to date another memebr in the US - lots of long-distance relationships among the members.

PasturesNew wrote: »

I've no idea where purch's local airport might be. I'm definitely not stalking him.

That's what a MENSA-level stalker would say! :eek:

Sorry to hear that about your mum, fc.

PasturesNew

fc123 wrote: »

Now I am fretting as we sat on a beach together and indulged in a ton of banal chat...and I was half a cosy couple too (and I know they are annoying) ......did you feel uncomfortable?

No, loved that day

PasturesNew

hjd wrote: »

Having just looked up local meetup, I have the opportunity to join Naked Male Massage Exchange UK.
Unfortunately, I'm female.

I bet there are many hands now feverishly typing that into the search box to discover their closest group

PasturesNew

fc123 wrote: »

... sometimes you can write as someone who could be clinically depressed.

I wasn't going to respond to this bit at first ... then I remembered!!!

It is VERY common for Aspies to be misdiagnosed with depression in real life. It's just part of how it's often misunderstood etc, even by Doctors. Questions don't get answers others wish to hear, they get factual answers, which are misinterpreted as depression.

Not explained that properly.... but it happens.

Although, also, it is true that a lot of aspie lifestyle etc can lead to depression due to a variety of factors, like being misunderstood all the time, nobody ever listens to you ... gets you down.

LydiaJ

zagubov wrote: »

It doesn't sound like much,TBH. I've invigilated their tests and there's not much fuss. You just sit in a room with a supervisor and work on it quietly. Have a think about it.

I don't think PN feels the test would be too taxing. It's the £75 + petrol that she can't afford. This is somebody who is living below the benefit level. Paying all that money up front for something she might not even like is seriously not going to happen. Heck, I wouldn't pay all that up front plus petrol money to get to a group unless I had strong reasons to believe it would be really great, and my finances are a lot less pinched than PN's are.

lostinrates

I have to say, personally I wouldn't pa t or Mensa. Each to their own, bu my not posh parent was into Mensa stuff when 'I were a lass ' and that was newly the end of my parents marriage then too. Some of thoseeople are definitely what I think we'd recognise as 'on the spectrum'. Others are prats and pillocks.

zagubov

PasturesNew wrote: »

I wasn't going to respond to this bit at first ... then I remembered!!!

It is VERY common for Aspies to be misdiagnosed with depression in real life. It's just part of how it's often misunderstood etc, even by Doctors. Questions don't get answers others wish to hear, they get factual answers, which are misinterpreted as depression.

Not explained that properly.... but it happens.

I wouldn't doubt that at all. DS is very matter-of-fact in the way you describe, and I don't believe he has depression in any way. Mind you, depression is common and life-threatening so even a false-positive diagnosis is better than a false-negative.

On another matter, apropos of nothing, I see that scientist are getting their usual kicking from the journalist community for killing the world's oldest animal (born in 1499! still officially the middle ages ) when checking it's age (except they didn't but you'd struggle to fiund that out):o

LydiaJ

PasturesNew wrote: »

I wasn't going to respond to this bit at first ... then I remembered!!!

It is VERY common for Aspies to be misdiagnosed with depression in real life. It's just part of how it's often misunderstood etc, even by Doctors. Questions don't get answers others wish to hear, they get factual answers, which are misinterpreted as depression.

Not explained that properly.... but it happens.

Although, also, it is true that a lot of aspie lifestyle etc can lead to depression due to a variety of factors, like being misunderstood all the time, nobody ever listens to you ... gets you down.

All that is true. However, Pastures, there are NP on here who've known you for years, and are used to your factual way of dealing with life, but who still think you could be depressed. You seem paralysed by the decision making about buying a house, and you appear to feel little hope that things will get better in the foreseeable future. Both these things seem to have got worse over the last few months.

Having recently diagnosed myself as suffering from something similar to but different from depression, and been chuffed to have my inexpert diagnosis confirmed by a medical professional, I encourage you to start exploring the idea that maybe things do not always have to feel the way they do now, and that the first step towards that is finding out whether there's something wrong and if so what exactly it is and what one is recommended to do about it.

Anyway, whether you're depressed or not, you're never entirely alone because the NP are here for you even when everybody else misunderstands or rejects you.

fc123

PasturesNew wrote: »

No, loved that day


It's horrible having that hanging over you. My dad was in denial about his situation, as if keeping it from us meant it wasn't happening, but that didn't help at all.

I was really put through the mill there....

We never knew that we were having our last Xmas, we had very little warning. We had 110 days from the unexpected/sudden diagnosis day and the end.

We loved it too...in fact I wish we could have driven down this summer as well as we have 2 people (1 in Devon and other in Dorset) that we wanted to meet up with too....I kept planning a mini-tour to cover Wilts, you and further along but this house extension and work + other house is like a great big millstone that prevents other things.
Won't be forever though....

Your Dads decline was so quick plus it also changed everything as well.....their house sold, Mum in a home and so on. To be fair PN who have had a lot to cope with the past 24 months and you seem to do most of your coping solo too.

I do wonder if part of the indecision in the house buying is because it 'plants' you in that place permanently. I know you can sell and move on in the future but for now I wonder if you have some reservations on where to 'plant' yourself as, realistically, you could live in so many different places....too many to choose from really.

The downside is the market is slowly creeping up and not giving you enough time to decide as each 5% rise reduces the space you can afford so it makes the decision making process more pressured too.

PasturesNew wrote: »

I wasn't going to respond to this bit at first ... then I remembered!!!

It is VERY common for Aspies to be misdiagnosed with depression in real life. It's just part of how it's often misunderstood etc, even by Doctors. Questions don't get answers others wish to hear, they get factual answers, which are misinterpreted as depression.

Not explained that properly.... but it happens.

Although, also, it is true that a lot of aspie lifestyle etc can lead to depression due to a variety of factors, like being misunderstood all the time, nobody ever listens to you ... gets you down.

You have explained it properly.........I didn't want to presume anything either.
I think the hardest thing is you are solo so there isn't someone to chip in and share decisions and most of us would struggle with big ones if it was just us having to make them.

zagubov

LydiaJ wrote: »

I don't think PN feels the test would be too taxing. It's the £75 + petrol that she can't afford. This is somebody who is living below the benefit level. Paying all that money up front for something she might not even like is seriously not going to happen. Heck, I wouldn't pay all that up front plus petrol money to get to a group unless I had strong reasons to believe it would be really great, and my finances are a lot less pinched than PN's are.

I kind of conflated the hassle of the test and the money together when I didn't mean to. I got the impression that most members communicated by phone and email and meetups were a bit rarer.

When I used to teach evening classes I saw that many people saw a social dimension to the classes as they formed a mutual support group to get through the course. This was always encouraged as mutual support makes successful completion more likely.

There's plenty of discussion groups people can meet up about.

I've attended Pub Skeptics meetings and found them very interesting - I'm no more an atheist than you are but found them vibrant and friendly, (but better if you turn up with pals).