Nice People Thread Part 9 - and so it continues

lostinrates

Oh no, I wouldn't sy anything that would cross lines with DH.
Similarly he wouldn't expect me not to talk about sex at all. It would be like not sharing recipes with friends. :rotfl:

I think forcing someone to talk about it is abhorrent but not being open about it within reasonable limits isn't particularly healthy or beneficial.


(Analogy) on food network last night I saw someone cut grape in half for a salad by sandwiching between plates, pressing down and slicing across. I thought it was so simple and clever. Now, I can cut grapes in half without the trick, but I like the trick and will definitely try it. It might work for me, it might not. Ni'll try it once and unless I hate it I'll try it again, maybe twice more to see. Then I'll know if its worth me doing that for salads with grapes in them.

I feel the same about sex chat.

Any how.

We're all British- ish. So we should probably talk about the weather again for a bit.

Quieter tonight, heavier rain .

LydiaJ

lostinrates wrote: »

Oh no, I wouldn't sy anything that would cross lines with DH.
Similarly he wouldn't expect me not to talk about sex at all. It would be like not sharing recipes with friends. :rotfl:

Given the comments you've made in the past about not putting dog pics up (or only very briefly) because fir wasn't comfortable about it, I was confident the two of you would long ago have sorted out the "how much is ok to disclose" issue about sex as well as about just about everything else.

silvercar

Nikkster wrote: »

Yes, hope all is ok with sc.

lostinrates wrote: »

Hope silvercar is ok....its very quiet from Wales.

Sorry, I've been occupied here.

Very glad I traveled yesterday rather than today.

Storm here has been uneventful, some roads flooded but not in this part and a few twigs off trees. Bit of a storm in a teacup. Whereas at home, trees have blocked roads, no trains all day. A friend needed to travel on the east coast line, got a taxi from home to Kings X and sat on the 7.35am train waiting for it to depart until 15.35 - he eventually got to his destination at 8.30pm!

lostinrates

LydiaJ wrote: »

Given the comments you've made in the past about not putting dog pics up (or only very briefly) because fir wasn't comfortable about it, I was confident the two of you would long ago have sorted out the "how much is ok to disclose" issue about sex as well as about just about everything else.

Actually, I did cross the line elsewhere on mse in innocence last week and DH asked me to remove the comment. It was not IMO bad, nor was it his he couldn't explain why the comment made him uncomfortable but it did. That's fair enough. Funnily enough, he only saw it because I showed him the bdsm thread on marriages ( i thought he'd ind parts of it amusing) which I'd written on and he was fine with that:rotfl:. The other one was nothing contentious at all.

Its ok, though, because, boundaries move.

silvercar

LydiaJ wrote:

My policy is never say to anything on here that would cause me more than a passing embarrassment if it was read (and linked to me) by anybody at all.

Exactly.

lostinrates wrote: »

We're all British- ish. So we should probably talk about the weather again for a bit.

Quieter tonight, heavier rain .

Another storm could be upon us at the weekend.

neverdespairgirl

LydiaJ wrote: »

I'm generally quite happy talking about sex in the abstract, but draw the line at anything revealing the anatomy, preferences or performance of any specific individual. I don't want to disclose my own, and I feel that if anybody else wants to disclose theirs, that's up to them, but nobody else ought to be making such disclosures for them without their specific consent. That cuts both ways - I've no patience with the kind of women that feel entitled (whether they actually get it or not) to a level of respect from men that they're not prepared to give in return.

I feel similarly - I wouldn't say anything here (or in general) that I wouldn't be happy for OH to say about me in a similar setting - not including standing on a box at Speaker's Corner, but in chat, if that makes sense?

Similarly, I never, ever criticise OH either in front of him, or to other people, about anything that matters. So I'd tease him about how he often assumes that someone'll be around to be Butler because he's forgotten his keys, but never about anything important (not, I stress, that there is much that's important to criticise about him!)

I feel very uncomfortable indeed when I hear other people criticising their spouses - I remember a work colleague telling me how awkward his wife was about getting their eldest to school on time - when she had a 1 year old and was 8 months pregnant. My sympathies were entirely with her, trying to sort out 6 year old, baby, and large bump, but even if they'd not been, I disliked hearing him say how useless she was at getting eldest to school on time!

LydiaJ

neverdespairgirl wrote: »

I feel similarly - I wouldn't say anything here (or in general) that I wouldn't be happy for OH to say about me in a similar setting - not including standing on a box at Speaker's Corner, but in chat, if that makes sense?

Similarly, I never, ever criticise OH either in front of him, or to other people, about anything that matters. So I'd tease him about how he often assumes that someone'll be around to be Butler because he's forgotten his keys, but never about anything important (not, I stress, that there is much that's important to criticise about him!)

I feel very uncomfortable indeed when I hear other people criticising their spouses - I remember a work colleague telling me how awkward his wife was about getting their eldest to school on time - when she had a 1 year old and was 8 months pregnant. My sympathies were entirely with her, trying to sort out 6 year old, baby, and large bump, but even if they'd not been, I disliked hearing him say how useless she was at getting eldest to school on time!

What NDG said.

Except that I started feeling rather more free to criticise LNE after he had his affair and left. Even so, I make a point of giving credit where credit is due and trying to be fair in what I say.

neverdespairgirl

LydiaJ wrote: »

What NDG said.

Except that I started feeling rather more free to criticise LNE after he had his affair and left. Even so, I make a point of giving credit where credit is due and trying to be fair in what I say.

That's different, I think. It's people attacking those who are supposed to be their current, not ex, that's awkward.

In those circs, I wouldn't have tried to be remotely fair and give credit where credit was due, I reckon.

zagubov

silvercar wrote: »

Sorry, I've been occupied here.

Very glad I traveled yesterday rather than today.

Storm here has been uneventful, some roads flooded but not in this part and a few twigs off trees. Bit of a storm in a teacup. Whereas at home, trees have blocked roads, no trains all day. A friend needed to travel on the east coast line, got a taxi from home to Kings X and sat on the 7.35am train waiting for it to depart until 15.35 - he eventually got to his destination at 8.30pm!

Was reassured about you when other threads gave good reports on S Wales. (You were near a lot of people you know online, as you know).

Is your return journey sorted?

zagubov

Here's a song to restore all NPs energy! :beer: