Nice People Thread Part 9 - and so it continues

chewmylegoff

Nikkster wrote: »

So I'm guessing that you would actually pay a little more?

Good luck. It's terrifying.

Though I found an offer being accepted was even more terrifying, then contracts exchanging was a notch up. Actually completing and getting the keys was off the scale (though I was buying on a single salary much less than yours).

If it doesn't work out, keep faith that something better is round the corner. I think it increases the chance of finding it (then cancel your rightmove alerts, which I have yet to do).

Yeah there is a bit of flex, we can go up to about £75k under the asking price but that's our limit. Too much risk to go any higher given the amount that needs to be spent on it and the fact that we would need to rent somewhere close by whilst it is being done up.

I'm not that nervous about it as if we get it for the price we are willing to pay it looks a fairly safe bet and if we don't then that means we don't have to go through the hassle of doing the work.

chewmylegoff

LydiaJ wrote: »

Nikkster has been recovering from a diastrous relationship. The last thing she needs right now is to get actually involved with somebody who already has a gf, and I shouldn't imagine that a steamy one night stand with somebody who then goes back to his gf would do much for her emotional health at this stage either. If she thinks she might succumb, she'd be better off wearing OLD underwear to make sure she doesn't let him have a chance to see it.

Nikkster you sound to have your eyes open about this. One sided crushes on safely inaccessible people are a recognisable stage that adolescents go through when they need to explore those kinds of feelings without risking anything actually happening before they are ready for a real relationship. They may also be a natural stage in the journey from "can't imagine ever loving a man again" back to normal feelings. But lir is right to say beware. Remember that adolescent crushes on inaccessible people usually end up in agonisingly painful adolescent heartbreak. Unless you genuinely feel that that would be worth it, then steer clear of him. It might be worth it, though - in the way that it's worth going through the pain of thawing out your toes if you have frostbite rather than keeping them frozen forever to keep them anaesthetised.

Edit - Oh, and remember that when you have a crush on somebody you fill in all the gaps you don't know about them by assuming everything's perfect. The fact that you feel sure he wouldn't cheat on his gf doesn't actually mean that he wouldn't. It would be best to go prepared with a phrase or two you plan to use to turn him down if he tries anything on. Because after your previous bloke, you seriously do not need to get involved with the kind of guy who cheats.

Sounds a bit like my crush on harry styles.

Nikkster

LydiaJ wrote: »

Nikkster has been recovering from a diastrous relationship. The last thing she needs right now is to get actually involved with somebody who already has a gf, and I shouldn't imagine that a steamy one night stand with somebody who then goes back to his gf would do much for her emotional health at this stage either. If she thinks she might succumb, she'd be better off wearing OLD underwear to make sure she doesn't let him have a chance to see it.

Nikkster you sound to have your eyes open about this. One sided crushes on safely inaccessible people are a recognisable stage that adolescents go through when they need to explore those kinds of feelings without risking anything actually happening before they are ready for a real relationship. They may also be a natural stage in the journey from "can't imagine ever loving a man again" back to normal feelings. But lir is right to say beware. Remember that adolescent crushes on inaccessible people usually end up in agonisingly painful adolescent heartbreak. Unless you genuinely feel that that would be worth it, then steer clear of him. It might be worth it, though - in the way that it's worth going through the pain of thawing out your toes if you have frostbite rather than keeping them frozen forever to keep them anaesthetised.

i) Has a gf
ii) lives miles away
iii) has said some nice things, but nothing ott ( no proposals, indecent or otherwise)

I definitely have a crush. Project we are working on still has another week to go - after that we go back to separate worlds. He has thrown over a few compliments. I am sure nothing more than than the words of someone who is innocent enough to speak their mind (have heard a few compliments to others in the team, most to me, may well be my selective hearing). This is going nowhere. After MY CRUSH (TM) has subsided, he is someone I would love to be able to consider a friend. I am very sure he is a brilliant and supportive friend, who has never harboured ANY kind of non-platonic feelings for me. I am very sure.

THIS IS A CRUSH .MY CRUSH. I am not expecting (hoping, but only in a teenage way, I'd be terrified if anything real happened) for anything more than going for a pint with a nice looking, very sweet man (with lovely hair). I will then continue with my normal boring life, but hopefully make an effort to get out and about and meet some new people in the hope I'll meet Mr. (hopefullly Tall Dark) Single and Right (more likely than waiting for him to knock on my door).
That is what I am hoping for and aiming to achieve. And nothing else is likely. No need to panic.

Nikkster

chewmylegoff wrote: »

Sounds a bit like my crush on harry styles.

And unless I am missing something, just as likely to come to anything fruitful.

It has given me something to smile about (for a few weeks, I admit), and a kick up the backside to think about what I want out of life. (Sadly) That is it.

Nikkster

P.s. If I am missing anything crucial - please spell it out either one here or by pm/ email.

I don't think I can be more sure this is (edit: at best) an unrequited crush (my crush); but more likely something that might be a sweet and innocent long-term friendship.
I have just been taken aback to meet someone that I find is so attractive (physically and personality-wise) that I have not managed to completelu scare off.

I am seeing this as a re-introducing myself into normal human life rather than my perfect match. I don't think I could say no, but I am 101% sure that it won't be a question. And that is just fine by me.

Nikkster

I definitely hope he doesn't read the NPT (what are the chances...?). Otherwise he'll definitely have been scared off. Just in case, I would like to stress, I AM ONLY HOPING FOR (DREAMING OF) FRIENDSHIP - THE THOUGHT OF ANYTHING ELSE WOULD SCARE ME SHITLESS SO FEAR NOT, THAT IS NOT WHAT I AM AFTER>
Nikkster xxx

SingleSue

I found working Monday, Wednesday and Friday gave me enough of a break during the week but also meant I was not out of the loop. It also gave me flexibility to move things around during the week or do extra hours as and when the boys allowed.

If I had block worked, I would have been so out of the loop on what was going on it would have been impossible to work efficiently as shipping is so fast moving, 4 days would be like a month elsewhere.

All the boys back to school tomorrow, date cancelled today for me and the boys gave me the cold..eurgh.

GDB2222

LydiaJ wrote: »

Certainly agree it's good to check. I know I only really know about the TPS, so that's why I said schemes "should" rather than "do" calculate things this way. Here's hoping Spirit's one does.

I think that all the main public sector schemes work in the way you described, including the NHS scheme, but I agree that it's worth checking. There's lots of information on the interweb, but this is a start. http://www.nhsbsa.nhs.uk/Pensions/Documents/Pensions/Part_Time_Employees_FAQs.pdf

vivatifosi

Has anyone got an opinion on the big fish that are washing up on the shores of California? Apparently the same fish washed up in Japan before the big earthquake there. Are they an advance indicator? It is a horrific thought. I find cues from nature very interesting, such as knowing that the tide can go far out before a tsunami. Here's hoping that the scientists studying this can show that there isn't a link, in spite of the inevitability of a 'big one' one day.

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/science/oarfish-mystery-earthquake-rumours-over-beached-giant-snakelike-fish-in-california-8897016.html

And in other news, it is ten years today since Concord last flew. ETA: I heard this from my husband. Wikipedia says something different. I have no idea who is correct. Sorry if this is duff info.

lostinrates

vivatifosi wrote: »

Has anyone got an opinion on the big fish that are washing up on the shores of California?.

Yeah, I have.

They UGLY.