Nice People Thread Part 9 - and so it continues

LydiaJ

lostinrates wrote: »

Well, we adore him Lydia. In fact fir was just asking after the kids very recently and we were smiling at what treasures they are.

Your ds is very special. Smart, but sensitive. Thoughtful. Thinks a lot. One can see it clearly. I am convinced, he has a lot of choice in the future.

Thank you. He is certainly very special to me - but then he would be, wouldn't he? It gives me joy when he is special to other people who don't have my genetic imperative to think he's wonderful, which is why I always so much appreciate the way that you and foundinrates value both him and DD.

Spirit wrote: »

Lydia - oh I so understand this, try to share his joy. Feeling sad about their successes says we value them less, that ebullient and frequent expressions of pleasure are worth 'more'.

My internal dialogue has had this battle often . Our DD has never been 'outgoing' and life events have not helped. I try not to 'rate' her pleasures on any mythical scale of how 'joyful/confident' others are. Comparing is pointless.

Introverts are under rated.

Thank you, but don't worry, Spirit. I did share his joy. At his request, I read the tutor's comment to him several times - the handwriting is too squiggly for his dyslexic brain to untangle - and answered his questions about the precise nuances of the choice of words. I've promised to scan the form for posterity before he takes it in to give to the librarian, too.

But when he said "It's just so nice that somebody thinks so well of me" I told him that although I'm pleased and proud of the comment, I didn't find it surprising, and that from the evidence of his reports and his parents' evening, I thought most of his other teachers think the same of him. He said he thinks most of his teachers think he's stupid. To an impartial observer, this is manifestly ludicrous, and it is the continued failure of both my own efforts and the school's to persuade him otherwise that makes me sad.

neverdespairgirl wrote: »

You might be over-thinking it? The fact that's he really pleased about it might not reflect self-confidence problems, but more that (say) he's tried hard to be organised, when it doesn't come naturally, and is glad the effort was appreciated?

Aww thanks. What an encouraging thing to say. If over-thinking is a problem of mine, then I'm afraid it's one that he's inherited from me (and I got it from my dad). He told me a while ago, when I was trying to be encouraging, that he prefers to think badly of himself, so that he gets pleasant surprises when other people think better of him, and that he wouldn't want to start having a high opinion of himself for fear of getting a nasty shock when other people turned out not to agree.

lostinrates

Found my wallet.....only missing for two days this time. . Glad I didn't can el my cards!

SingleSue

James contacted us by Facetime last night, what an amazing bit of technology! I 'met' his flatmates, had a guided tour of the flat and a long face to face chat with him. It was amazing...just wish he had warned me before doing it as I met the flatmates wearing no make up, hair not brushed, sitting in bed in my nightie!

It was good to hear from him though where I could actually see his face and so much better than Skype.

Unfortunately, he looked a fright, he's got 'Freshers Flu' and sounds awful with a horrible hacking cough....cue a worried mum for the rest of the night!

bugslet

vivatifosi wrote: »

At the library today I was asked for a copy of "Princess Diana's latest autobiography".

That made me laugh!

CKhalvashi wrote: »

If I seem a little grumpy, it's Stoptober, and I'm trying (again)

CK

Good luck. My closest friend died after contracting lung cancer, basically from years of smoking. Why is it we can find willpower and motivation once we are diagnosed with an illness, but not before despite knowing the consequences?

fc123 wrote: »

oooh that's rubbish....you are nowhere near too old (!).
My biggest regret is my lack of confidence to wear all sorts of things and also make-up when I was younger.

To make up for it I have just bought myself some sugar pink 3/4 Uggs.
You know, now I am 50 I will wear purple and all that.;)

:T

Did anyone see the programme Fashionistas on C4 two weeks ago?

http://www.channel4.com/programmes/fabulous-fashionistas/4od

May appeal to the lady NPs more, it featured 6 women between mid 60s to 90s, all of whom had a unique take ageing and looking good. It's the only programme I've watched on catch up since I gave up TV in March and this was well-worth it. I'm almost looking forward to the next few decades.

silvercar

Unfortunately, he looked a fright, he's got 'Freshers Flu' and sounds awful with a horrible hacking cough....cue a worried mum for the rest of the night!

Freshers flu is a sign that he is having a good time!

lostinrates

bugslet wrote: »

That made me laugh!



Good luck. My closest friend died after contracting lung cancer, basically from years of smoking. Why is it we can find willpower and motivation once we are diagnosed with an illness, but not before despite knowing the consequences?



Did anyone see the programme Fashionistas on C4 two weeks ago?

http://www.channel4.com/programmes/fabulous-fashionistas/4od

May appeal to the lady NPs more, it featured 6 women between mid 60s to 90s, all of whom had a unique take ageing and looking good. It's the only programme I've watched on catch up since I gave up TV in March and this was well-worth it. I'm almost looking forward to the next few decades.

I wanted to see it but forgot to watch it. I'm not sure I can face the od thing. I might try though.

Re age......I think it gets a bit easier later again?

FC you are SO wonderful looking and so bubbly, I cannot believe you were reserved!

Interesting you said about make up, I've been looking at me beautiful bright eyeshadows which I adore and thinking.....its just not right now, but I cannot quite stand the idea.

Today, I've just put on eyebrows and mascara. However much I want to put on some amazon green eyeshadow I just think I need to hold back.

bugslet

neverdespairgirl wrote: »

What do you mean, had your colours done? Hope you're feeling a bit calmer, and that Mr. Bugs is stable.
.

The theory is that certain colours suit people and that is divided up into seasons, I'm an autumn. I was very skeptical until I went with three other women and it revolutionised the way I buy clothes. No more black or white, pinks in my wardrobe, lots of browns, teals, golds, coppers, brick red and greens. Useful to go with someone else as it's easier to see on another person.

good luck with the non smoking NDG.

lostinrates wrote: »

I want cake.:(. Or steamed pudding. Or something like that. Carby, crumbly sweetness. .

I think two days of laziness have almost killed this cold. I just have a sort throat left. And a carb craving with a sweet tooth. ( oh, and I'm almost totally deaf, but that will resolve when congestion clears. I'm actually quite enjoying it. )

Hope you are up on your feet soon lir, would you like me to ask a driver to pop round with some cake?

LydiaJ wrote: »

I am proud of him, but ... also sad because his inordinate pleasure at this minor encomium says something regrettable about how little progress we have made with his self-confidence problems so far.

Congratulations to him. I don't know his age, but I had none during my school years, something that impacts stillnow, but once I got into the world of work, it changed me a lot and I manage to fool most people into thinking I am tough as old boots.

vivatifosi

LydiaJ wrote: »

DS is happy. He has decided to apply to be a library assistant at school. He has to fill in an application form and get his tutor or a teacher to give him a reference. His tutor taught him maths all last year, so knows him reasonably well, so he's done the reference for him. He has written:

I am proud of him, but ... also sad because his inordinate pleasure at this minor encomium says something regrettable about how little progress we have made with his self-confidence problems so far.

Congratulations to your DS! When he's a bit older can we offer him a job;)?

I was a library "prefect" at school (which amounted to the same thing). I still remember it with great fondness. I hope he has fun. It teaches some useful life skills: how to listen; how to deconstruct an enquiry; how to make and mend; how to keep things neat and put them in order, though don't be surprised if he starts putting his books in Dewey order...

silvercar

The theory is that certain colours suit people and that is divided up into seasons, I'm an autumn. I was very skeptical until I went with three other women and it revolutionised the way I buy clothes. No more black or white, pinks in my wardrobe, lots of browns, teals, golds, coppers, brick red and greens. Useful to go with someone else as it's easier to see on another person.

Weird isn't it. I can totally see on other people that certain colours suit them, but can't see it at all on myself.

Doozergirl

Goodness, three NP giving up smoking? I'm impressed! Consider this your support group and we'll have a virtual party at the end of the month. :beer: