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Propertyfan's guide to property viewers!
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Propertyfan
Posts: 137 Forumite
I, Propertyfan, am here to provide my guide to the mysterious world that is the property viewer! Yes, all the secrets are revealed! Without further ado, here we go...
1) The 'can never afford it' viewer.
The 'can never afford it' viewer will view your property but have no intention of making an offer. The idea appalls them. "Make an offer? Who do you think I am, someone that wants to buy a property?!"
The 'can never afford it' doesn't have the cash, the mortgage, the rich uncle, friend, trust fund, secret bank account in the Canary Islands, hasn't won the lottery, hasn't robbed a bank and doesn't know Richard Branson's mobile number to ask him for a loan. They haven't got the money and will never have the money but this doesn't stop them coming to your property, having a walk around and making such comments as, "I quite like it. I'll have a chat with my partner/family and get back to you."
They never do.
2) The 'we must change things' viewer.
The 'we must change things' viewer is prevalent and their MO (modus operandi) is self-evident. They will take a walk around the property and start making comment such as, "this room needs a lot of work done to it. The kitchen will need new units. We need to move the dishwasher, move the lights, increase the height of the ceiling, move the house to a new road."
These comments are not positives but negatives to use against the vendor in the hope they will convince the owner that the asking price is too steep and a lower offer should be accepted. "Well, I do like the property but a lot of work needs to be done to it. Yes, I know it's got a bath and a sink but I want a bath, sink *and* toilet *and* shower cubicle. And the walls will need to be knocked down to accommodate all this. Clearly, this will cost at least 50,000 pounds plus VAT so I have to reduce my offer to take into account the extra money for renovation."
The 'we must change things' viewer is a sly beast. Invariably, they know all the specs of the property, roughly how old it is, before they visit, but play dumb and then make wild suggestions regarding what is needed to improve it.
If your property doesn't come with a bath and shower cubicle, doesn't come with three bedrooms, don't let the viewer think he/she is smart to say "well, it's okay but it doesn't have three bedrooms." If an EA has done his/her work correctly the viewer will know the basic stats of the property and if they start saying "this needs a lot of change and work" then it's just their attempt to say "if we make an offer we're going to drop the price by a lot."
Don't fall for their tactics.
3) The 'time waster' viewer.
The 'time waster' viewer will contact an EA and arrange a viewing. The doorbell rings, you let the viewer into your abode. They will have a walk around, perhaps ask some very brief questions then disappear. They don't want to buy your property, it's extremely unlikely they have their own home on the market or ready to be put on the market. The time waster enjoys viewing properties just for the sake of it. They like to see what sort of furniture people have, the general decor. It might give them some ideas how to enhance their own property. The time waster gives himself/herself away by their exceptionally short visit to your property. If they're in and out within a minute or so that's the sign they're wasting your time. They just fancied a day out at your property. Next time someone does that, charge them an admittance fee!
4) The 'bullsh*t' viewer.
The 'bullsh*t' viewer will view your property and make wild claims about their financial status. "We purchased a similar property not that long ago. I have the cash, no mortgage is required. I can move out straight away. I deal in properties all the time."
It's possible the bullsh*t viewer will make an offer on your property but he/she is an habitual liar or has a lifelong phobia of veracity. Their best friends tend to be politicians, traffic wardens and members of the Inland Revenue. The bullsh*t viewer will say anything to secure the best deal for the property and then proceed to say anything to convince you the sale will actually happen. They will gladly lie about their finances, lie about their mortgage, lie that they don't need a mortgage when they do - just generally lie about everything. The bullsh*t viewer is even worse than the time waster viewer and should, as soon as the warning signs are made evident, be avoided at all costs.
5) The 'no show' viewer (suggested by phoebe1989seb. Thanks.)
The 'no show' viewer doesn't turn up at the property because their lifestyles are so hectic and glamourous. Most no show viewers can't afford mobile or landline telephones so never get in contact with the vendor to apologize for their absence.
6) The 'shill' viewer. (suggested by phoebe1989seb. Thanks)
The 'shill' viewer is a fake viewer designed to give the impression the EA is actually doing some work. Most shill viewers are random people the EA found on the street or out of work soap actors. If you ask nicely, they might give you their autograph.
7) The 'none of the above' viewer.
The 'none of the above' viewer is genuine about moving, knows the specs and price of your property, has the funds to purchase and makes a rational decision whether or not to make an offer. This type of viewer is quite rare and in some countries considered an endangered species. The World Wildlife Fund:
1) The 'can never afford it' viewer.
The 'can never afford it' viewer will view your property but have no intention of making an offer. The idea appalls them. "Make an offer? Who do you think I am, someone that wants to buy a property?!"
The 'can never afford it' doesn't have the cash, the mortgage, the rich uncle, friend, trust fund, secret bank account in the Canary Islands, hasn't won the lottery, hasn't robbed a bank and doesn't know Richard Branson's mobile number to ask him for a loan. They haven't got the money and will never have the money but this doesn't stop them coming to your property, having a walk around and making such comments as, "I quite like it. I'll have a chat with my partner/family and get back to you."
They never do.
2) The 'we must change things' viewer.
The 'we must change things' viewer is prevalent and their MO (modus operandi) is self-evident. They will take a walk around the property and start making comment such as, "this room needs a lot of work done to it. The kitchen will need new units. We need to move the dishwasher, move the lights, increase the height of the ceiling, move the house to a new road."
These comments are not positives but negatives to use against the vendor in the hope they will convince the owner that the asking price is too steep and a lower offer should be accepted. "Well, I do like the property but a lot of work needs to be done to it. Yes, I know it's got a bath and a sink but I want a bath, sink *and* toilet *and* shower cubicle. And the walls will need to be knocked down to accommodate all this. Clearly, this will cost at least 50,000 pounds plus VAT so I have to reduce my offer to take into account the extra money for renovation."
The 'we must change things' viewer is a sly beast. Invariably, they know all the specs of the property, roughly how old it is, before they visit, but play dumb and then make wild suggestions regarding what is needed to improve it.
If your property doesn't come with a bath and shower cubicle, doesn't come with three bedrooms, don't let the viewer think he/she is smart to say "well, it's okay but it doesn't have three bedrooms." If an EA has done his/her work correctly the viewer will know the basic stats of the property and if they start saying "this needs a lot of change and work" then it's just their attempt to say "if we make an offer we're going to drop the price by a lot."
Don't fall for their tactics.
3) The 'time waster' viewer.
The 'time waster' viewer will contact an EA and arrange a viewing. The doorbell rings, you let the viewer into your abode. They will have a walk around, perhaps ask some very brief questions then disappear. They don't want to buy your property, it's extremely unlikely they have their own home on the market or ready to be put on the market. The time waster enjoys viewing properties just for the sake of it. They like to see what sort of furniture people have, the general decor. It might give them some ideas how to enhance their own property. The time waster gives himself/herself away by their exceptionally short visit to your property. If they're in and out within a minute or so that's the sign they're wasting your time. They just fancied a day out at your property. Next time someone does that, charge them an admittance fee!
4) The 'bullsh*t' viewer.
The 'bullsh*t' viewer will view your property and make wild claims about their financial status. "We purchased a similar property not that long ago. I have the cash, no mortgage is required. I can move out straight away. I deal in properties all the time."
It's possible the bullsh*t viewer will make an offer on your property but he/she is an habitual liar or has a lifelong phobia of veracity. Their best friends tend to be politicians, traffic wardens and members of the Inland Revenue. The bullsh*t viewer will say anything to secure the best deal for the property and then proceed to say anything to convince you the sale will actually happen. They will gladly lie about their finances, lie about their mortgage, lie that they don't need a mortgage when they do - just generally lie about everything. The bullsh*t viewer is even worse than the time waster viewer and should, as soon as the warning signs are made evident, be avoided at all costs.
5) The 'no show' viewer (suggested by phoebe1989seb. Thanks.)
The 'no show' viewer doesn't turn up at the property because their lifestyles are so hectic and glamourous. Most no show viewers can't afford mobile or landline telephones so never get in contact with the vendor to apologize for their absence.
6) The 'shill' viewer. (suggested by phoebe1989seb. Thanks)
The 'shill' viewer is a fake viewer designed to give the impression the EA is actually doing some work. Most shill viewers are random people the EA found on the street or out of work soap actors. If you ask nicely, they might give you their autograph.
7) The 'none of the above' viewer.
The 'none of the above' viewer is genuine about moving, knows the specs and price of your property, has the funds to purchase and makes a rational decision whether or not to make an offer. This type of viewer is quite rare and in some countries considered an endangered species. The World Wildlife Fund:
We recognize that 'none of the above' viewers are in increasingly small number. WWF monitors 'none of the above' viewers to ensure their continuing survival.
0
Comments
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Well , that`s 5 minutes i`ll never get back , thanksNever, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.0
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Glad to help, sir!
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Propertyfan - are you a seller? 0
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I am trying to sell my property, yes. If you wanna make me an offer, go ahead!
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If they're in and out within a minute or so that's the sign they're wasting your time.
you forgot the Deceived Viewer, who spends less than a minute looking around a property because that is how long it takes to realise that the listing (particularly photos) was wildly inaccurate and can't wait to get out of there0 -
Then on the other hand you have the delusional seller.
Basically overpricing a property and not realising why it is not selling.
These can take the form of either a) cannot drop the price as they are overstretched to make the next move or b) greedy barstewards who just think their property is worth more than it is because they have not moved on from the good ol days of 2006-07.0 -
you forgot the Deceived Viewer, who spends less than a minute looking around a property because that is how long it takes to realise that the listing (particularly photos) was wildly inaccurate and can't wait to get out of there
.......and the No-Show Viewer - every property seller must have one, often generously supplied by that most honest of parties, the Estate Agent Guaranteed to make you spit and swear for wasting so much time prepping, cleaning and de-cluttering - all for nothing :mad:
......and no, I'm not selling - but have had a *no-show* almost without exception every time we have sold!Mortgage-free for fourteen years!
Over £40,000 mis-sold PPI reclaimed0 -
The clueless viewer.
Wants three bedrooms, but hasn't given the schedule enough attention to realise that the house they're viewing only has two.
Wants something on a bus route, but evidently can't verify this without first viewing the house for half an hour and then realising it's off all the routes.
etc
etc0 -
Propertyfan wrote: »I am trying to sell my property, yes. If you wanna make me an offer, go ahead!
best of luck , with your attitude don't hold your breath0 -
you forgot the Deceived Viewer, who spends less than a minute looking around a property because that is how long it takes to realise that the listing (particularly photos) was wildly inaccurate and can't wait to get out of there
I have been to many of these , and yes we have walked into the house looked at one room and walked out again :rotfl:
the sooner sellers start to realise not all prospective buyers are idiots ,
they might actually sell0
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