How often to see partner

lika_86

Years 1-3 of my relationship - saw each other one evening a week (he'd stay over until the morning then head to work) and generally come over for Saturday evening and stay until lunch on Sunday. We'd talk and email in between but to be honest, in a relatively new relationship I was happy to have my space on the other days.

Year 3-4 - I moved to London (he was up North) so we would see each other probably every other weekend from late Friday until Sunday lunch, talking and emailing in between.

Year 4-5 - He moved to London and moved in and whilst I do love living with him and getting to spend time together at weekends etc, I also crave my own time sometimes and revel in the odd weekends/evenings he's out/away as I get to do what I want again without having to compromise.

Horses for courses really. Three evenings a week for a 16 month relationship sounds fine to me. Get a hobby for the times when you can't see him.

GBNI

Depends on the people and their relationship, I don't think there's a right or wrong. I see my OH every other weekend from the Friday evening through to the Monday. Sometimes I take the Monday off to spend more time with him. He works away during the rest of the time.

Goldiegirl

When we were going out together, I lived in Essex and my husband lived in London. We'd see each other at the weekend and one day during the week, usually Wednesday.

We did this for two years, until we got married.

We were both happy with this arrangement. As long as both parties are happy, that's the main thing, there's no right or wrong, it varies from couple to couple.

vodkachick68

Thankyou all for taking the time to reply. I now realise that maybe we are normal! There is no chance of us moving in at the moment as he is doing his house up ready to sell in the future and we both have kids to consider. I just think with work commitments etc there just isn't any more time that we can spend together. I haven't done this courting thing for 18 odd years and just find the whole thing daunting and not how I thought it would be. It's been hard getting used to my own company after living with my ex hubby for 16 years and again it's sometimes difficult coping on my own.
I know I shouldn't compare my relationship with my friends as their circumstances are different. I should concentrate on my life and not other people's.
I'm sure there are other people in a worse position than me and I am gonna try and be grateful for what i have and try and enjoy our time together as we both want the same thing at the end which is to move in together in the future.
Thanks.

19lottie82

Have you met his kids yet, OP?

lee111s

I see my girlfriend 3-4 times a week, most of them days she stays over. I own my house but she still lives at home as she's just finished her degree and is going to continue on to do her masters in September.

SunshineButterfly

All relationships are different. But if you cannot physically see each other more than I guess there is not much you can do unless you lived together?

I have been dating my fella for 4 months now. We see each other for the weekend every fortnight.. but most weekends we see each other. And I see him 1-2 nights in the week.

I imagine over time this will gradually increase and that possibly in the future we may want to live together.

But I guess with me and him its nice to see a natural progression.

lostinrates

fishybusiness wrote: »

Tend to agree three nights a week isn't enough to maintain a relationship, especially as you do not live together.

If you have a committed relationship, looking at the longer term, couldn't you spend time with your partner and his son, on a Sunday?

Obvious solution is move in together, see if it works.

Three nights a week is enough to maintain a relationship if you are committed to it. Many cope on less. DH and I did two nights a fortnight for a year or two, and of course many do six month stints apart due to nature of work. Now DH and I do Friday night to Monday morning together and then are apart Monday morning till Friday night.

To make it work well you do have to pull together I think though, and you tend to long for four day working weeks more than the average person, so three day weekends together happened.

lisawood78

I see my husband of 5 years about 7 days a month, give or take.
It can work

vodkachick68

19lottie82 wrote: »

Have you met his kids yet, OP?

No not yet,but I know that this will happen as our relationship progresses. Again I suppose everyone is different and I am prepared to wait until he is ready for that next stage.