How often to see partner

vodkachick68

Hiya I've been with my boyfriend for 16 months and we see each other 3 nights a week. We do chat on the phone in between. Thing is I'm beginning to feel that this isn't enough. He has his own business and works long hours and I work in the day and 2 evenings a week and he sees his son on a Sunday so that's another day gone. I can't see how we can physically manage to see each other any more. My friend sees her boyfriend 5 Eve's a week plus all day on a Sunday. I have spoken to my b/f about this and he can't understand what the problem is. How often is normal to see your partner?


Thanks

paulineb_2

If you cant manage to see one another any more due to working hours and him having his kid, how cant it be enough? He looks as if hes spending as much free time that he has to spare, with you.

notanewuser

I see my husband for less than 48 hours a week. If you assume 16 are spent sleeping that's 32 hours a week. Unless he goes diving for the weekend , in which case it's about an hour all weekend, lol.

heartbreak_star

Move in together?

HBS x

benjus

Not sure if there's such a thing as "normal", but it 3 nights a week doesn't sound a lot for an established relationship, especially if it's expected to become more serious.

When I started seeing my fiancee we saw each other about 2 nights during the week, plus all of the weekend. After about 14 months we'd moved in together.

However, if you're limited by schedules that cannot be changed and you're not ready to move in together I can't see there's much you can do about it. What kind of business does he have? If there are times when he's working and you're free, could you join him at work?

Kayalana99

Well.... I've seen my BF every day since we got together... were now engaged with 2nd child on the way and still going strong

Guess I'm not normal? lol

paulineb_2

Everyone is different. Some people dont necessarily want to move in together or live together no matter what their ages are, Im assuming OP that you are roughly the same age as me.

The last person I dated lived 400 miles away from me so you can imagine how often we saw one another.

I also know someone my age who is in a relationship with someone, she lives outside Aberdeen and he lives in Ipswich and theyve been together a year

I do think though that youve posted other threads in your time asking for advice about this relationship and that something isnt right.

Because if you were happy with this situation, you wouldnt be having to ask and please dont compare your life with that of your friends. Some people want to see a partner every day even if they live together, others will.

Im not sure if I was dating someone who didnt live with me that Id want to or need to see them 5 days a week, in fact I have dated people that I didnt live with and we didnt see one another all the time.

Considering the fact that you work and he works and you work two evenings as well, 3 times a week doesnt sound that bad.

fabforty

There is no 'normal' when it comes to relationships, it what works for you and what you are happy with. Three evenings a week, especially if you do not live together and at least one of you is working, seems okay to me but every one is different. OH and I have been together 10 years and until DS1 arrived 2 years ago, we saw each other twice a week at best. We both work full-time with OH working shifts. Perhaps you each want different things.

Faith177

I see my husband 1 night a week as he works and lives 80 miles from where we live

fishybusiness

Tend to agree three nights a week isn't enough to maintain a relationship, especially as you do not live together.

If you have a committed relationship, looking at the longer term, couldn't you spend time with your partner and his son, on a Sunday?

Obvious solution is move in together, see if it works.

Guest101

The normal thing is to spend a large portion of free time together. Which it sounds is whats happening now.

You cant expect him to stop working, or you to stop, and to not see his child.

You putting extra pressure on the relationship, and short of moving in together, that pressure is likely to push him away.