Musings about a new relationship

Dunroamin

How does he react when you phone him?

Funky_Bold_Ribena

When I first started my relationship we had a '3 month review' where we sat down and had a meal in a restaurant and decided if we both wanted the same things and if it was worth pursuing. It was with us but at least you can then have the conversation and see whether you are both after the same sort of things.

justme111

Funky_Bold_Ribena wrote: »

When I first started my relationship we had a '3 month review' where we sat down and had a meal in a restaurant and decided if we both wanted the same things and if it was worth pursuing. It was with us but at least you can then have the conversation and see whether you are both after the same sort of things.

I think people who are on the same page are more likely to have a review that will result in any conclusion than those who don't.
Dunroamin , I would guess op does not phone him because he does not phone her

Dunroamin

Maureen43 wrote: »

Me again, not sure about a man, again!

Background: Have been seeing this guy for 2-3 months now. We met online, both looking for a relationship. I've just come out of a long marriage. He's been divorced for about a year, fairly traumatic background including fact that ex wife didn't get on with his daughter which made access difficult.

We don't see each other that much - weekends when I don't have the kids and maybe an evening a fortnight. That's fine generally - he has his own life, friends and interests and so do I. When we are together he is affectionate and we get on and have a really good time. We have a lot in common.

However in between he is very detached. I hardly hear from him and when I do it is by text. He has never rung me! I don't think there is anyone else involved. I think he is maybe scared of taking things to the next level. He "needs to get his head around" the idea of meeting my kids at some point - I am not rushing him.

I have no idea how he feels about me!

So, I was thinking of leaving it a couple of months, and if there is no change then asking him how he feels and how he sees things going. He knows I don't want to marry or live together, so I don't think he needs to feel unduly pressured.

God, I don't understand men!

If you don't want to live together or marry, what do you want?

Maureen43

Dunroamin wrote: »

If you don't want to live together or marry, what do you want?

A close relationship where we talk a lot and are there for each other. When I have had a bad day I would like him to come over. When he is feeling sad I would like to know. I would like to have someone to share things with.

burnoutbabe

does he answer your texts promptly? lots of people don't phone, just text. It weirded me out when new boyfriend wanted to phone and chat EVERY night but it was easier when I knew it was just 10 mins each time. I just didn't want to bore him with the boring details of my day!

Insisting a chap of 2-3 months (so you have met 10 times or so?) meets your kids is just daft, why out your kids through that with someone you are so unsure of. 6 months down the road is different but seems no need to meet now at such an early stage.

Funky_Bold_Ribena

justme111 wrote: »

I think people who are on the same page are more likely to have a review that will result in any conclusion than those who don't.

Sorry but what?

Maureen43

burnoutbabe wrote: »

does he answer your texts promptly? lots of people don't phone, just text. It weirded me out when new boyfriend wanted to phone and chat EVERY night but it was easier when I knew it was just 10 mins each time. I just didn't want to bore him with the boring details of my day!

Insisting a chap of 2-3 months (so you have met 10 times or so?) meets your kids is just daft, why out your kids through that with someone you are so unsure of. 6 months down the road is different but seems no need to meet now at such an early stage.

This makes me feel better! I know I have said it time and time again, but 20+ years in an abnormal marriage have made me doubt how normal relationships work. I need guidance!

justme111

And here we idle lonely or by whatever chance happening to be on our gadgets on Sunday.morning money saving bunch come in handy with our guidance:)
Ps. Dunroamin must be male as he asked what you want then , I understand what you are after perfectly from the first post.:)
Ribena - nothing , it was just an observation. . Glad it went on well for you , may it continue well for many years. Have a nice Sunday

Funky_Bold_Ribena

justme111 wrote: »

Ribena - nothing , it was just an observation. . Glad it went on well for you , may it continue well for many years. Have a nice Sunday

Sorry - I didn't actually understand the sentence.

I'm having a lovely one so far - thanks. Same to you